Not a Virgin any more
A family is lunching: The 10 year old girl does not eat much.
At the end of one moment, she says: "I have something to announce", Silence and all listen. "I am not virgin any more", and she starts to cry.
Again a long silence... and then....
The father addresses to his wife: "It is all your fault, always equipped and made up like a whore, you believe that you are an example for your daughter? ... It is lamentable".
The woman says to her husband: "And you, you believe that you are an example? To waste your pay with pétasses which come sometimes to accompany you back, you believe that you are an example for your 10 year old daughter?
"And the father to continue: "And her older sister, this good with nothing, with her hairy and doped buddy, always in the train of tripoter and to jump itself in all the recesses of the house, you believe that it is an example?... And that continues like that....
The grandmother takes her small daughter by the shoulders to comfort her and asks her: "How that arrive? "And the small one to answer by choking its sobs: "the priest chose another girl to make the Virgin in the Crib of Christmas."
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Connection
A young, married couple has difficulties conceiving a baby, so after a while the wife consults her doctor, who recommends the minor of three possible operations.
The operation is performed, but a month later, she's still not pregnant, so she goes to see the doctor again. This time he recommends the medium operation, a somewhat more serious operation, but still not as complicated as the third alternative. But, there's still no result and another month later she's back in the doctors office, and this time she gets the big one. After having recovered in some weeks, the couple resumes normal marital activities, and this time they actually succeed in conceiving a baby.
Filled with joy, the young wife now sees the doctor for the regular examination during pregnancy and says, "We're so happy doctor, we're finally having a baby. But what was this third operation actually all about? The first two weren't that bad, but this last one I think must have been quite a job, I was dizzy for weeks after."
"Well," the doctor replies, "since the first two standard operations failed, we started suspecting your method rather than your ability, so I made a connection from your throat to your uterus."