Nasty business of the day!
A young woman consults her gynaecologist accompanied by her six year old kid.
The doctor starts to palpate her breasts. The kid fixes it without stop and the doctor is amused seeing this and asks him: - You know what I do? - Yes, doctor, you palpate the breasts to find nodules.
Astonished, the doctor continues and starts to examine her sex with the fingers. - You know what I do, small? - Yes, doctor, you make her a cervical smear.
Exceeded, the doctor strips himself and starts to make sex with the woman. - And now, you know what I do my boy- Yes doctor, you are now getting the disease for which my mom came to see you!
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An Italian Man Visits New York
[read with an Italian accent]
One day I'm'a gonna New York to big'a hotel. In'a morning I go to eat'a breakfast. I tell'a waitress I wanna two pisses toast. She bring me one piss. I say you no understand. I wanna to piss on'a my plate. She say you better not piss on'a plate, you son'a ma bitch.
I don't even know the lady and she call'a me a sonna ma bitch.
Later I go to eat at the big'a restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and a knife but no fock. I tell'a her I wanna fock. She tell'a me everyone wanna fock. I tell'a her you no understand. I wanna fock on the table. She say better not fock on the table, you son'a ma bitch.
I don't even know the lady and she call'a me a sonna ma bitch.
So I go to room'a in'a hotel and there is no sheits on'a my bed. I call'a the manager and tell'a him I wanna sheit. He tell'a me to go to the toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna sheit on'a my bed. He say you better not sheit on'a bed, you son'a ma bitch. I dont even know the man and he call'a me sonna ma bitch.
I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say "Peace on you". I say piss on you too, you son'a ma bitch.
I gonna go back to Italy.