One night wife play the national anthem while preparing for sex.
Hubby, "why u r playing this?"
Wife, "The whole country stands up when this song is played, Let me see if does any wonder for your instrument"
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10 qualities of a perfect Girl Friend:
Truthfull,
Intelligent,
Gentle,
Humble,
Tolerant,
Polite,
Understanding,
Sexy,
Smart,
Youtfull
in short T.I.G.H.T. P.U.S.S.Y.
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A man standing in line at a check out counter of a grocery store was very surprised when a very attractive woman standing behind him said, "Hello!" Her face was beaming.
He gave her that "who are you look," and couldn't remember ever having seen her before.
Noticing his look, she figured she had made a mistake and apologized. Look," she said "I'm really sorry but when I first saw you, I thought you were the father of one of my children," and walked out of the store.
The guy was dumbfounded and thought to himself, "What the hell is the world coming to? Here is an attractive woman who can't keep track of who fathers her children! "
Then he got a little panicky."I don't remember her," he thought but, MAYBE.. .during one of the wild parties he had been to when he was in college, perhaps he did father her child!
He ran from the store, caught up with her in the parking lot and asked, "Are you the girl I met at a party in college and then we got really drunk and had wild crazy sex on the pool table in front of everyone?"
"No", she said with a horrified look on her face. "I'm your son's second grade teacher!"