A Secretary Complains About Her Boss
She says, "My boss is so sex-crazed.
Everytime he comes into the office, I must do the LAPTOP position, and then the DESKTOP position, followed by the SPREADSHEET format.
I must LOAD UP his SOFT DISK into a HARD DISK, so that he can INSERT in my C DRIVE and then the A DRIVE.
Then he'll ask me to EJECT his SOFTWARE outside my C DRIVE so that he is VIRUS FREE.
Then he changes his mind and decides to ENTER, ENTER, and ENTER the whole day till he is in MICROSOFT stage.
Once I tried to ESC (escape) but he caught me and Shifted me to his HOME where he started pressing BACKSPACE, and said "TURNOVER"
Today, many a times he works without CAPSLOCK (without "cap" or "helmet")
and sometimes as an Alternative he CRASHES @ my SYSTEM until he looses his CTRL (control) and again he LOGS IN...
This process may continue until I SHUT DOWN his MAIN SYSTEM
...........
First time with a condom
I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so. I went in to buy a package of condoms. There was a beautiful woman behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it. She handed me the package and asked, if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, "No."
So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So she looked all around the store. It was empty.
She said, "Just a minute." And walked to the door, and locked it. Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. She asked, "Do these excite you?"
Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was nod my head.
She then said, it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and laid down on a desk. "Well, come on", she said, "We don't have much time." So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and pow, I was done within a few minutes.
She looked at me with a frown. "Did you put that condom on?" I said, "I sure did." And held up my thumb to show her.