Sunburnt Manhood
A certain young man finally got a date with a female of somewhat questionable morals that lived in his apartment complex. To prepare for his big date, the young man went up on to the roof of his apartment building in order to tan himself. Not wanting any tan lines to show, he sunbathed in the nude.
Unfortunately, he fell asleep while on the roof and managed to get a sunburn on his "tool." But, determined not to miss his date, he put some lotion on his manhood and wrapped it in gauze.
When the hot date showed up at his apartment, the young man treated her to a home cooked dinner, after which they went into the living room to watch a video. During the video, however, the young man's sunburn started acting up again. He asked to be excused, went into the kitchen and poured a tall, cool glass of milk. He then placed his sunburned member in the milk and experienced immediate relief of his pain.
The date, meanwhile, wondering what he was doing, wandered into the kitchen to see him with his dingy immersed in a glass of milk. Upon seeing this, she exclaimed, "So, that's how you guys load those things!"
------------
The nervous young bride became irritated by her husband's lusty advances on their wedding night and reprimanded him severely. "I demand proper manners in bed," she declared, "just as I do at the dinner table."
Amused by his wife's formality, the groom smoothed his rumpled hair and climbed quietly between the sheets. "Is that better?" he asked, with a hint of a smile."
"Yes," replied the girl, "much better." "Very good, darling," the husband whispered. "Now would you be so kind as to please pass the pussy."
----------
The guy was petitioning the court to have his recent marriage annulled. "On what grounds ?" questioned the Judge, "This court does not take annulments lightly."
"Non-virginity," replied the quarterback, "When I married her, I thought I was getting a tight end, but instead, I found that I had married a wide receiver."