Crack In My Shoe
A gentleman who always kept his black shoes shiny said to a woman on a date, "I bet I can guess what color your underwear is."
The woman replied, "You think so, huh? What color am I wearing?"
The man answered, "You're wearing red."
"Wow!" The lady responded in delight. "How did you know that?" she asked.
He replied, "Because I'm a genius."
On a second date with another woman, he said, "Hey, I bet I can guess what color your underwear is!"
The lady responded, "You're crazy! Okay, what color is my underwear?"
The man replied with a smirk, "They are blue, of course."
The shocked lady asked, "There's no possible way you could know that!"
"I'm a genius, I'm telling you," he said.
On a third date with another woman, the man asked with fear, "Please tell me you're not wearing any underwear!"
She replied, "Well, I'm not. You worried?"
"Whooo! I'm relieved!" he mentioned with a big gasp of air. "I thought I had a crack in my shoes!"
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Rare disease
Old Mendel Rugelbaum was very old and suffering from a rare disease and
could drink only human milk.
"How can I get human milk?" Mendel asked the doctor.
"Well, Ruby just had a baby, maybe she'll help."
So every day Mendel went to Ruby's house for his daily feed. Ruby was a dark-eyed, big breasted lady, who, in spite of herself, gradually became aroused as Mendel lapped at her ripe breasts.
One day as he quietly lay sucking, she whispered to him, " Tell me Mr. Rugelbaum, do you like it?"
"Mmmm, wonderful," he sighed.
"Is there....," she hesitated, her lips parted, eyes aglow, "is there anything else you'd like?"
"As a matter of fact there is," murmured Mendel.
"What?" Ruby asked breathlessly.
Mendel licked his lips. "Maybe a little biscuit?"