Tutor Trouble
A boy has recently heard some new words from a senior student. He is very curious to know the real meaning of those words.
One day, he enters a bar hoping to get his answers, and asks a man, "Do you know the meaning of 'dick'?" The man hesitates to tell the boy the real meaning as he does not want to be responsible for spoiling the boy.He answers, "Of course I do.It means an umbrella!"
The boy then asks the man, "What does 'fuck' mean?"
The man decides not to tell him this one too. He replies, "It means to go to office!"
The boy asks his last question, "What do 'bra' and 'panties' mean?"
The man cunningly replies, "They mean book and copies!"
One stormy day, his elder sister's tutor comes the house. The boy opens the door. He looks at the tutor's umbrella and says,"Oh no! Your dick has got a puncture on it and is leaking! Give it to me, i'll put in one corner."
The tutor gets terribly angry and says, "WHAT! Where are your parents?"
The boy replies, "They have gone to fuck."
The tutor is bewildered. He asks, "Ok, where is your sister?"
He replies, "She has opened her bra and panties and is waiting for you!"
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Chief Chips
Barbara Walters was doing a documentary on the customs of North American Indians. While touring a reservation during the documentary, she noticed a Head Dress and was puzzled by the difference in the number of feathers compared to the other Head Dresses.
She questioned a Brave who had one feather in his Head Dress. He replied, "Me have only one squaw, me only have one feather."
Not satisfied with his answer, Barbara asked the same question of another Brave, who had four feathers in his Head Dress. He replied "Ugh, me have four feathers because me sleep with four squaw."
Still not convinced that the number of feathers indicated the number of squaws involved, Barbara decided to interview the Chief, who happened to have a Head Dress full of feathers. Amused, Barbara asked the Chief, "Why do you have so many feathers in your Head Dress?"
The Chief proudly pounded on his chest and said, "Me Chief. Me screw 'em all. Big, small, fat, and tall. Me screw 'em all!"
Horrified, Barbara replied, "You ought to be hung."
The Chief replied, "You damn right, me hung. Big like buffalo, long like snake."
"You don't have to be so damn hostile!" cried Barbara.
The Chief replied, "Hoss-style, dog-style, wolf-style, any style. Me screw 'em all!"
Tears filled her eyes, "Oh dear!"
Said the Chief, "No deer. Asshole too high and run too fast. No screw 'em deer!"