*An Amish woman and her very innocent daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold, blustery day. The daughter said to her mother, "My hands are freezing cold."
The mother replied, "Put them between your legs. Your body heat will warm them up."
The daughter did and her hands warmed up.
The next day, the daughter was riding with her boyfriend who said, "My hands are freezing cold."
The girl replied, "Put them between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm them up."
He did and it warmed his hands.
The following day the boyfriend was again in the buggy with the daughter. He said, "My nose is cold."
The girl replied "Put it between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm it up."
He did and it warmed his nose.
The next day the boyfriend was again driving with the daughter and said, "My penis is frozen solid."
The following day, the daughter was driving in the buggy with her mother, and she says to her mother, "Have you ever heard of a penis?"
Slightly concerned the mother said, "Why, yes. Why do you ask?"
The daughter replies, "They make one heck of a mess when they defrost, don't they?"
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Ancient Idiot
There was a great discussion among scholars who was the ancient idiot.
Thinkers concluded it was to be Adam because when standing completely nude next to a naked woman, he was chewing apples instead of nipples!