Sara Pipalini
Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven where they are met by St. Peter at the pearly gates.
St.Peter says "Ladies, you all led such wonderful lives, that I'm granting you six months to go back to Earth and be anyone you want".
The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren" and POOF she's gone.
The second says, "I want to be Madonna" and POOF she's gone.
The third says, "I want to be Sara Pipalini".
St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he says.
"Sara Pipalini" replies the nun.
St. Peter shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry, that name just doesn't ring a bell."
The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter.
He reads the paper and starts laughing. "No Sister, he laughs, this says
'Sahara Pipeline, laid by 500 men in 7 days!"
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Fire Stations new system
A Jamaican fireman came home from work one day and said to his wife "Ya now something womon, we have a wonderful new system at de fire station..
Bell 1 rings - we put on our jackets.
Bell 2 rings we slide down de pole.
Bell 3 rings -we jump on de engine and we's ready to go.
"From now on womon, when I say 'Bell one' I want you to strip naked.
When I say 'Bell two' you jump on de bed.
When I say 'Bell three' we's gonna mek love all tru de night girl."
The next night, he came home and shouted, "Bell One" and the wife stripped naked!
"Bell Two" and she jumped on the bed!
"Bell Three" and they started to make love!
After a few minutes, the wife yelled out, "Bell Four"
"WOMON ... What de hell is Bell Four'?" he asked.
She replied, "ROLL OUT MORE HOSE, MON, YOU AIN'T NOWHERE NEAR DE FIRE"