Fear of Lightning
Two sisters lived together and managed a farm, all their lives they had both had an extreme fear of thunder storms and lightning.
One day one of the sisters was visiting a neighbor, and while walking home was caught in a severe thunder storm. Lightning was streaking across the sky and thunder was booming all around. Totally terrified, she ran to a nearby haystack and buried her head in the hay like an ostrich, so she could not see the lightning or hear the thunder.
With her head buried in the hay, her rear end was exposed, and the wind blew her dress up exposing a long unused part of her body.
Along came the local stud, and seeing the poor soul's predicament, he did the only thing a well endowed stud would do in such a situation.
After fully satisfying himself he zipped up his pants and went on his merry way.
Soon the sister pulled her head out of the haystack and rushed home, calling to her sister, "Sissy, Sissy, let me tell you something! I was just hit by lightning... and we never have to be afraid again!!!"
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Mothers Milk
There was a gentleman living in a small village who unfortunately had a stomach disorder that required him to drink the milk of a nursing mother. Well there weren't too many women in the village nursing babies and even fewer who would agree to allow a grown man to suck on their breast.
But low and behold, the poor man finally found a rather buxom young girl who recently had given birth who was willing to help him out -- for a price. The man was desperate because his condition was growing worse, so he agreed to pay the woman the amount of money she demanded. After all, the woman had a new born baby to care for and the father had abandoned them to their fate.
The first day was a bit awkward as the man showed up and, with a bit of anxiety and embarrassment, leaned over and began to suck on the woman's breast. Well weeks went by and the awkwardness began to fade.
One day, the woman realized that the man's sucking was beginning to arouse her sexually. It became almost unbearable and finally, in a sensuous voice, she said, "Is there anything else you'd like?"
The man paused in his sucking for a moment and looked up at her. "Yeah," he said finally. "Can I have a cookie with my milk?