Murphy this Irish lad calls to see his mate Paddy who has a broken leg.
Paddy says, "Me feet are freez'n mate, could ya nip upstairs and get me slippers?"
"No bother," he says, and he runs upstairs and there are Paddy's two
stunning 19 year old twin daughters sat on their beds.
"Hello dere girls, your Dad sent me up here to shag ya both."
"Fook off you liar!" they both chime.
"I'll prove it," Murphy says. So he shouts down the stairs, "Both of them, Paddy?"
"Of course, what's the use of fookin one?"
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A husband and wife were having difficulty surviving financially so they decided that the wife should try prostitution as an extra source of income.
The husband drove her out to a popular corner and informed her he would be around the side of the building if she had any questions or problems.
A gentleman pulled up shortly after and asked her how much to go all the way. She told him to wait a minute and ran around the corner to ask her husband.
The husband told her, "Tell him it's $100."
She went back and informed the client who complained, "That's too much! How much for a handjob?"
Once again she asked him to wait a minute and ran to ask her husband how much.
The husband said "Ask for $40."
The woman ran back and informed the client. He felt that this was an agreeable price and began to remove his pants and underwear. Upon the removal of his clothing the woman took one look at his equipment and then asked him once more wait a moment.
She ran around the corner to her husband, "Now what?" he asked "Can I borrow $60?"