She liked Lin Shen; so what?
What could she do about it?
No matter how much she liked him, he had never returned her feelings. Three years had passed, and she felt fatigued of liking him.
Then she lowered her head to her food quietly and didn't look up even when Lin Shen walked over and put the food platter on the table.
Feeling something unusual in Xu Ai's tone, Zhao Yang didn't know it boded well or badly. Not daring to say anything, he picked up chopsticks and ate silently.
Lin Shen was a man of few words. Even though he joined Zhao Yang and Xu Ai at their table, he just ate his supper silently.
After supper, Zhao Yang put down chopsticks and asked Xu Ai, "It seems you won't have time to play basketball with me later."
Xu Ai nodded. "I'm not dressed for it anyway. Let's do it another day. I'll call you."
"Okay. I'm going back to my dorm room." Zhao Yang left.
Xu Ai looked at Lin Shen.
He picked up his laptop bag and stood up. "Let's go."
She grabbed her bag and walked out of the cafeteria with him.
The lights on the campus cast their long shadows on the ground.
To make it convenient for Lin Shen to manage his company while he studied in the school, a friendly teacher had loaned his office to Lin Shen during the night, so he could handle company business without disturbance. The usual place Lin Shen mentioned was this office.
In the past three years, Xu Ai and Lin Shen had been to this office in the teaching building countless times.
Neither of them spoke as they walked toward the office.
Unlocking the door, Lin Shen placed his laptop on the desk and asked her, "What do you like to drink?"
Xu Ai said, "Water."
Lin Shen nodded and got her water at the water dispenser with a disposable cup.
Putting her bag on a chair, she took the cup. "Thank you."
Lin Shen got himself a cup of water.
Sitting down on the chair, she sipped water and glanced at his laptop on the table, asking, "You said you were preparing the last round of thesis oral defense. Have you passed it?"
Lin Shen nodded. "Yes."
"It means you've graduated. You just need to wait for the graduation certificate, huh?" Xu Ai asked.
Lin Shen said, "Uh-hum."
Xu Ai smiled, "Congratulations! You can now concentrate all your attention to the company."
Lin Shen curled his lip, put down the cup and turned on the laptop.
As he turned on the laptop, Xu Ai turned to the topic of work habitually. "Now that you're almost graduated, you'll have time and energy to reshuffle the company. What big moves do you have in mind?"
"Let's not talk about work today," said Lin Shen.
Xu Ai was surprised, wondering what they'd talk about if they didn't talk about work.
After all, work had been the only topic between them. She didn't know what else they could talk about.
As she looked at him in puzzlement, Lin Shen logged into a webpage and opened a file. Turning the screen to her, he gestured to her to look at it.
When she saw the words Profit Sharing Statement, she looked up at him in surprise.
"This is 5% of the company's profits in the past three years, calculated at the end of last year; this year's profit will be calculated at the year-end." He took out a bank card from his pocket and placed it before her. "It's in this bank card; the password is the date when I first met you."
Stupefied, she shook her head and pushed the bank card back to him. "I never wanted to take shares from your company. You pay me well; I don't want this."
"I promised you this and I must keep it even though we didn't have a written agreement for it. Besides, I've let my lawyer make a notary certificate for the company shares." Lin Shen refused to take back the bank card and took out three things from his laptop bag, placing them before her.
They were his household register booklet, ID card and bank card.
Xu Ai froze at the sight of these three things. She looked at him in puzzlement.
Lin Shen's deep eyes met hers; he said slowly after a while, "I planned to propose to you after graduation. We'll get engaged first and get married next year after you graduate."
Xu Ai widened her eyes and stared at him in disbelief.
She suspected she had heard him wrong.
Seeing her expression, Lin Shen smiled bitterly, and his voice lowered as he said, "I didn't expect that you'd become another guy's girlfriend before I graduate. I'm no match for Su Xuan in every way, but I don't want to give up; I want to marry you."
Xu Ai's whole body turned stiff and her head was filled with thunderous sounds.
Gazing at her eyes, Lin Shen said carefully and distinctly, "These are my household register booklet, ID card and bank card. Would you give me a chance if I entrust them to your safekeeping?"
Sitting on the chair stiffly, she couldn't speak.
Lin Shen gazed at her quietly. A little while later, he took out a small box from his pocket, opened it slowly and placed it before her.
A diamond ring.
The diamond on it glittered under the light.
Looking at it, Xu Ai felt dazed and stiff as if her soul had been drawn out.
She felt her heart was trembling.
She was stunned by Lin Shen's words.
She had never imagined he'd say those words to her; she had never dared to imagine…
For an instant, she felt like crying but couldn't get the tears out; her eyes hurt as she stared at the things before her.
"I like you and I thought you liked me. Maybe I'm too confident in myself." Lin Shen gazed at her. "I always thought we understood each other in the past three years; I thought you'd understand me even if I didn't say the words to you."
Understand each other?
Did they understand each other?
She'd understand him even if he didn't say the words to her?
What did she understand?!
Xu Ai's lips tightened slowly.
Lin Shen's voice went even deeper. "I hoped I could give you the best when I proposed to you, but still I'm not good enough; but I know I'd regret for the rest of my life if I let you go just because I dared not to propose."
Xu Ai closed her eyes.
Lin Shen watched as her face turned from disbelieving and stiff to complicated and unreadable; as those emotions flashed across her face, she seemed to be trembling; she seemed to be trying hard to suppress these feelings…
He fell silent.
After a moment, she opened her eyes. Supporting herself with a hand on the desk, she stood up and looked at him.
With tightly pinched lips, he stared at her unblinkingly. She had never seen him so tense before.
He looked as if he was dreading her refusal.
Xu Ai met his gaze for a while and then looked down at the household register booklet, ID card and bank card. After a moment, she said in a small voice, "Lin Shen, I never knew you liked me or wanted to marry me. Is it because I'm stupid or you're too deep to read?"
Lin Shen tightened his grip on the corner of the desk as he said in a raspy voice, "I'm not good at expressing myself. I thought you knew me. I…"
Xu Ai looked up and interrupted him, saying earnestly, "I do like you."
His body shook slightly. Loosening his grip, he stared at her. "Then…am I too late?"
Xu Ai smiled. "As to my feelings, it's naturally not too late. After all, I still like you."
Then she walked to stand before the window.
The window faced the sports field where people were playing basketball, soccer, badminton under the lights. It was summer and lots of people were out playing.
Gazing at her back for a while, Lin Shen walked to the window and stood behind her.
Gazing at the sports field, she said in a low voice, "On that day, we lost the bidding and I failed to go to my blind date, making Ting angry. You told her that I wasn't your girlfriend."
Lin Shen's face tightened. "When I heard you had a blind date, I was so furious that I lashed out without thinking."
Hearing his words, she fell silent for a moment. "Later you didn't explain why you said those words. When you got out of the car with Cheng Yanyan and saw me and Zhao Yang in the school, you said the same words."
He's lips pressed together tightly. "When I saw Zhao Yang by your side, I remembered your blind date."
She chuckled suddenly and then looked back at him. "Lin Shen, should I say you're proud or bad-tempered? I never thought that the reason you got angry at me and even denied that I was your girlfriend in public was that you liked me."
Under the light, her smile seemed to pierce his heart. After a moment of silence, he said in a low voice, "It's all my fault."
Xu Ai shook head. "There's no right or wrong in feelings."
She turned around, walked to the table and grabbed her bag from the chair before walking toward the door.
Lin Shen strode up and grabbed her hand, saying in a low and raspy voice, "Xu Ai!"
She paused her steps.
His hand shook slightly. "You…don't want to give me another chance?"
Xu Ai stood there motionlessly and didn't speak.
Lin Shen's hand tightened, and Xu Ai could feel his tremor through his hand. "I'm arrogant, bad-tempered, unsociable and eccentric…"
Xu Ai covered his mouth with her hand.
Lin Shen stopped talking immediately and looked at her.
Xu Ai looked at him. This was their first intimate contact and she could feel clearly his breath on her palm. She had imagined this scenario countless times. Taking her hand away, she lowered her head and looked at the tiled floor, saying in a small voice, "Lin Shen, don't talk about yourself like this."
He moved closer and held her.
Xu Ai didn't speak. Standing in his arms, she shook slightly.
How long had she waited for this moment? She felt as if she was dreaming.
But she knew it wasn't a dream.
Still it felt unreal.
Feeling her slight tremor, Lin Shen tightened his arms. "I was wrong and took your love for granted. I thought you'd always stand by my side waiting for me; I thought we'd be together after you and I graduate… But…"
Xu Ai looked at her feet. The tiles under her feet were as bright as a mirror, but still she couldn't see the reflections of her facial expression or Lin Shen's.
She didn't know what her expression was right now.
She didn't know how to respond to him, so she remained silent.
After a long moment, Lin Shen looked at her in devastation. "Xu Ai, I have no hope at all? No matter what I do, you won't accept me? Do you…truly like Su Xuan?"
Xu Ai pursed her lips and pushed him away lightly.
Lin Shen's face paled instantly.
She raised her head and stared at him, asking in a small voice, "Lin Shen, do you truly like me? Are you sure you want me not because of Su Xuan who appeared suddenly and tried to take me from your side?"
Lin Shen's eyes turned deeper instantly. "Xu Ai, is this how you interpret my proposal today?"
She looked down, not daring to meet his eyes, and said in a low voice, "Lin Shen, you were wrong when you said that we understand each other. I don't understand you. I can feel your sincerity in your proposal, but I can't see your heart. You're as deep as the ocean for me."
Lin Shen turned around and said in a raspy voice, "What should I do so you can see my heart?"
Xu Ai didn't speak.
Lin Shen's heart was always unreadable; she had tried to touch and understand his heart but never could, not before and not now.
She indeed liked him; she liked him so much that her heart spasmed.
Today she should feel delighted and surprised, but her surprise overshadowed her delight. Instead of pleasure, she felt so disbelieving and astonished that she was afraid to accept it.
She couldn't bring herself to say "Yes".
But she couldn't refuse him, either. After all, this was what she had prayed for in the past three years or more than 1,000 days and nights.
Gripping her bag tightly, she opened her mouth, closed it, opened it again and then closed again. Then she said in a low voice, "Lin Shen, it's too sudden for me. Give me some time to think about it, okay?"
Lin Shen turned around; gazing at her, he nodded slowly. "Okay."