I woke up after what seemed like an eternity. My mind was completely blank as I enjoyed the last few moments of "empty mind" bliss.
Suddenly, as if someone had opened a trap door under water, thoughts came rushing to my head.
Erick? Was that real?
No couldn't be, I think I was just imaging it. My nap had momentarily reduced the effect I felt earlier that day.
I felt my phone vibrate again, the screen lighted up and I grabbed it.
"Hey Mom!"
"How are you darling? How was college today?"
Hearing my moms voice was a sweet relief and gave me a moment of calmness.
My parents were self made and had worked hard their entire lives. They made their quantum leap from a "middle class strata" to the good life. Not the private jet kind but we could easily travel in business class. They loved me and they loved each other, I was fortunate enough to have been born as their only child, I considered myself extremely lucky.
The only con about this rose colored picture was the intense pressure and anxiety I felt to make myself into something too.
What if I can't make anything of myself and rise like my parents?
Will my family be disappointed in me?
All these thoughts went away as soon as they came, they would make their rounds again and again as long as my waking moments last.
That's why I couldn't let romance in my life which by the way was still tugging at my heart.
I left my room to take a shower, the cascade of hot water raining down on you is the best meditation on this planet. I looked down at myself. Thanks to my family genes, I was satisfied with what I had.
Actually I had learnt to be confident in my skin, I always thought I was a little chubby and not exactly stick thin as the norm dictated, but a size 0 doesn't exactly guarantee happiness either which I had learned the hard way after countless diets, teas and detoxes. My size 6-8 body was fine with me.
I stepped out of the steaming shower and opened my hair bun, I couldn't help but admire the little water droplets making their way down my neck to my chest.
As I looked in the mirror, I saw Erick standing behind me, putting his lips gently to the water droplets and catching them with his tongue, his eyes were closed and I couldn't move.
I felt his lips touch my neck and linger there, I couldn't breathe but my body was warm all over.
He opened his eyes and looked at me.
No no no no!
He disappeared into thin air as I clutched my towel around me tighter. Was I fantasizing now? Is this sexual attraction? I had never been in a relationship before so this was uncharted territory for me.
I slumped down on my bed and tried to distract myself from my own feelings of guilt and shame.
I quickly changed and buried myself into my coursework and projects for the day.
After two hours, I felt a little better finishing up the last of my work. I was getting hungry and grabbed my phone to ask my friends about their dinner plans.
I saw a notification that I had missed, two in fact.
"Erick Evans sent a friend request"
"Erick Evans says: hi"
My throat went dry as I quickly accepted his friend request.
Does he feel the same way?
Without wasting a second, I wrote back "Hey, how are you?"
I threw my phone on the bed and closed my eyes, trying to calm my heart.