Chereads / Selfish Love / Chapter 7 - Chapter 7

Chapter 7 - Chapter 7

Simran's life was slowly coming on track. She was happy with her job and had also found a house which she could call her own, even though it was on rent. It was a small apartment with one bedroom, living room and a kitchen. She had minimal furniture but enough to make her comfortable. She had bought a rug from the flee market, a queen sized bed and second hand sofas. The house was small but welcoming. All these months she had found peace. Ekta had called and told her that Rahul was looking for her so he could get the divorce papers signed. Avi had told her that Disha now came to their house frequently. Simran always felt angry when she heard that woman's name. She hated her to the core. She blamed her for everything. She knew everything and still had an affair with a married man. She always cursed her. She now had made up her mind that she would never divorce Rahul. Unless and until he is divorced he couldn't marry Disha. So she planned never to give Rahul a divorce. If she couldn't live with her husband neither would she let that bitch have her husband.

It was a cold November evening and Simran was sitting in Cafe Coffee Day sipping her usual cafe mocha. Suddenly someone called her name. She turned around and to her surprise she found Ali standing there. She just couldn't believe her eyes. After so many years she had met her best friend. Tears of joy welled up in her eyes. Her voice choked. She just stood there immobile. Ali walked up to her and took her in his arms. "Sim oh Sim! Where have you been. I was so worried about you" he hugged her tight and she cried her heart out with her face hiding in his chest. He smelled so nice. Simran didn't want to let him go. Ali pulled her away and clutched her shoulders. "Why Sim why? Why didn't you tell me anything? I thought I was your best friend. Why did you not tell me anything." He wiped her tears and made her sit. He sat down besides her holding her hands. "Sim talk to me please" he begged her.

" I didn't want to bother you. You were in a relationship after a long time and I didn't want to come in between you and Shaina." She said slowly. "You fool! There is no Shaina!!" he said. "What do you mean? I don't understand" Simran asked puzzled. She couldn't understand what Ali was trying to say. "I made Shaina up!" said Ali with distress. " I didn't want to spoil your relationship with Rahul. You were finally happy and I didn't want that you have to choose between me and him" Simran was confused even more. Ali explained that he made up the story of his affair with Shaina. There was no such girl. He asked Simran what had happened. Why she left Rahul and blocked him along with her parents. They sat talking and she told him everything. Ali shook his head in disbelief " Sim you stupid girl. At least you could have talked to me. I am really disappointed. You shut me out. You suffered so much alone. Have you talked to Rahul." "No!" Simran said loudly and then she realised where she was. She lowered her voice and said " I don't want to see his face. He betrayed my trust. He insulted my love. I had loved him from my heart. If he had just opened up to me and told me the truth I would have understood. I am not the sort of person to cling on to someone even when I know I don't hold a place in that person's heart. I tried being his friend. But he always said that I was mad and that I nagged him so he deliberately had an affair. How can you justify that? You tell me." The pain, the hurt showed in her words and face. Ali gave her a hug and rubbed her left shoulder. "You are not mad Sim and you are not wrong either. It is your life and your decision but you needn't have suffered alone . You could have called me or your parents." She looked up at him like a little child "you would have told me to ignore him and live on in that hell hole, like you had said earlier. Papa would have said the same thing. I am tired now. I can't live a life of compromise anymore." Ali kissed her forehead and held her close to him.

He paid her coffee bill and both of them went to Simran's place. Ali was sad to see Simran's small apartment. He remembered that her bedroom in London was bigger than this whole apartment. He sat on the sofa and Simran started to cook dinner for him. Ali told her not to but she insisted that she wanted to cook for him. Her dinner was ready in half an hour and Ali complimented her on her speed and tasty food. He then asked her how she managed to afford this apartment. She told him how she had sold her jewellery and gotten a job. Ali was amazed and teased her. After dinner Ali helped her do the dishes and they sat with a cup of tea. Simran was happy now. She hadn't smiled so much or laughed in ages. "So there is no Shaina?" She teased. Ali looked at her with a look of longing. He shook his head and said "no".

"So who is there now?" asked Simran taking a sip of her tea. "No one. There has always been only one and you know who." he said with a sensual look. Simran could feel an adrenaline rush and suddenly her body felt attracted to his as if he were a magnet pulling her close to him. She tried controlling her self. She kept her cup down and asked "who is that?" He stared right into her eyes. "It's always been you Sim. Since you were a little girl. I never had such a feeling for anyone. Not even for my wife. I guess I was looking for you in her. I left her because I didn't want to keep her in the dark. She deserved someone better than me. I realised pretty soon that I never loved her. It's always been you." Simran was quiet. She didn't know what to say. There was something in the sultry, caressing way Ali was looking at her that sent a tingle of excitement through her entire body. She got up and went to him. His arms crossed around her and he crushed her against him so hard that she could feel the violent beating of his heart next to her cheek. " I love you too," she whispered. His kisses rained on her eyelids, her nose, her throat, so that she found herself blinking and gasping, halfway between laughter and tears. Suddenly he got up and caught her by the arm and began to lead her towards the bedroom. She silently followed. He calmly shut the door behind her and pulled her close to him and began kissing her, gently at the neck and working up to her earlobe. He sucked on the earlobe for a while. His hands tugging her t shirt up. "I don't think you need that" he murmured, taking her t shirt off and throwing it on the floor. "Or this. Or this. Or these." As he spoke he calmly unfastened her necklace, her bra, her jeans. Simran found herself sitting on the bed while he peeled off her knickers. He began kissing her again, starting at her feet and working up her legs. "Mmmm," she sighed, wriggling with joy under his touch. "You are still dressed."

"Well, unwrap me," he suggested wickedly.

She obeyed, although her fingers were not quite steady when it came to undoing his shirt and sliding her hands inside to feel his warm, muscular body. That instant when she saw him naked and fully aroused, she felt a dark throbbing urgency. It had been ages since she had been physical and now her body wanted it more than ever. "Oh Ali," she breathed. She had never called him by name ever before. And now when she called out his name there was an awkward longing for each other. "Say it again," he whispered in her ear. "Ali," she whispered back and smiled. He drew her closer against him, running his hands over her flesh, caressing and exploring every inch of her. Her eyes closed in ecstasy as his kisses came down over her eyebrows and cheek and across the corner of her lips to the full, ripe centre of her mouth. He kissed her more and more deeply until they were fused together, their tongues quivering as a more urgent need overtook them. Simran was aware only of heat, closeness, the rhythmic, maddening, enthralling exploration of each other's bodies. Then a strange sensation began to gather and mass somewhere deep inside her, until she lost all her sense of her own separateness and uttered a stifled whimper as wave after wave of ecstatic convulsions shook her to the core.

Still shuddering , with her breath coming in fast, shallow gulps, Simran found herself crushed into the mattress with his full, hard weight upon her. She inhaled deeply, loving the salty aroma of his skin, the rough hair on his chest, the grip of his powerful muscles, the length and hardness of him. At 50 plus, his body cheated his age. It could give complex to 30 year olds. He lodged himself against her and then drove joyfully inside, her body arched to meet him and she lifted her lips to his cheek, offering small fluttering kisses until his mouth claimed hers. Their union went on and on. She smiled mistily up at him. Tears of joy rolling down. "I love you," she whispered. I want you to do this to me for years and years she thought. I want to have breakfast with you every morning, quarrel over silly little things and I want to live with you for ever and ever. And never.....ever...leave me. His eyes were dark, but she sensed the same primitive emotions surging through him. He collapsed, sweating and shuddering on top of her, making no reply except to hug her more fiercely against him. He loved her too. She was sure of it. A joy flooded through her as she nuzzled his face. Thoughts of the joy of having him next to her forever drifted through her head and she fell asleep.

They woke up in the morning and made love again. Later they made tea and watched television while laying in bed stroking each other. It was a Sunday so there was no tension of going to work. They didn't talk about their problems. They kissed and tickled each other and went out for a late night movie and dinner.

Simran awoke shortly after dawn with a deep, aching sense of happiness. She looked around and found Ali nowhere in sight. Fear gripped her heart and she searched around frantically in the dim room when Ali opened the door with a laden breakfast tray in his hands. "Good morning princess," he smiled at her. Simran was in love all over again. He sat watching her while she ate toast and drank her tea. He loved her.

"Will you come with me to Singapore?" he asked intently.

She smiled back "I would love to. I don't think I can stay away from you now," she said taking a sip of her tea. "Will you get me breakfast in bed every day?"

"Every single day"

" and love me every day like you did last night?"

He nodded and smiled, "every day my princess."

She blushed and kept the tray aside. She scooted up to him, held his hand and kissed his cheek. He smelled fresh and of musk.

"I want to be with you more than ever," she said pressing his hands, " but I have commitments here. I just got a job, finally I am independent, I am doing things on my own and making my own decisions. I am free at last. Do you understand? How can I just leave everything and go?"

"But I can't stay without you any longer. I got you after so many years. Please don't say no. Come with me. I'll keep you happy always."

She hugged him tight "Don't force me Ali. Please give me time to think it over. Don't rush me. I need to clear a few issues here too."

"You are still concerned about Rahul aren't you?" he complained like a little child still holding her in her arms. She pushed away from him and got up. "Yes that's one reason," she said wearing her flip flops. "I am not going to divorce him" she said sternly. "He needs to learn a lesson. And I need to explain everything to Avi too. I don't want him to think I left his father because of you. I want him to like you and respect you." She circled her arms around his neck with the front of her body leaning on his back and her chin resting on his head. "Give me time I'll be with you soon". He held on to her hand and gave her arms a kiss. " whatever you want my love," he said looking up at her, "but I have to leave tonight."

"What!" she asked with dismay

"So soon?"

"Yeah, I gotta a go that's why I wanted you to come with me."

"When will you come back?"

"Maybe after2 weeks."

"2 weeks?? That's a long time"

"Can't you take a week off lduring Diwali or something? I'll send you the tickets and you come over. In the meanwhile arrange for the visa"

"I'll talk to my boss and tell you. Have you had a bath yet?"

"I just shaved, why?"

She gestured with her finger to come and join her in the shower and he followed excitedly.

Ali left in the evening flight and before leaving he kissed her long and hard on her mouth in front of the public at the airport. Simran was a bit embarrassed as she had never done anything like that in public before, but she couldn't help but smile every time she thought of that moment. It was as if she could feel Ali around her. That night when she lay in bed, she replayed every moment with Ali in her head. She compared his love making style with Rahul's. Rahul had always been violent, while Ali was more soft and caring of her demands. He had made every effort to please her. Ali was not afraid to show his affection in public while Rahul was against it always. He had never hugged her let alone kiss her in public. He never held her hands. Come to think of it she had wasted precious years of her life trying to love a man who was not at all worthy of her love. He never understood her feelings. He was with her for his own selfish reason. Just to show the society that he was married, or just for the sake of his parents whatever. She was with him because she was selfish too. She wanted her parents to be proud of her, she wanted her son to have everything. Was she being selfish in denying Rahul the company of his love. Wasn't she being unfair to him? She had found her love, why not let him have his.

She took out her laptop and started writing an email to Rahul.

Dear Rahul,

I don't know whether I should even write dear or not, as I have no feelings left for you. I can never forget how you betrayed my trust and love. I guess you were in my life to show me how selfish relationships can be. I learnt a lot from you. Had you not betrayed my love I would never have found the power and confidence I always had inside of me. When I married you I gave my hundred percent to you and your family. I loved you with all my heart. I never cheated on you. I left my friends my family for you. You are a good man Rahul. You are emotional and that emotional nature of yours wouldn't let me go even though you were in love with someone else. These past months I hated you, cursed you and Disha for spoiling my life. But now I have calmed down and understood your point of view too. I wanted to punish you Rahul but not anymore. You are the father of my son, who will always remind you of me and what you did. I just want that you take good care of him and let him meet me whenever he wants to. I am now ready to let you go. Send me the divorce papers and I'll sign them and send them back to you.

I hope you have a good life.

God bless you

Simran

She read the mail twice, thought for a while again and clicked send. Within a second the mail was sent. She kept staring at the screen for a few moments and then got up to get a glass of water. Her throat was dry due to anxiety. When she came back there was a reply from Rahul

Dear Simran,

Hi, I am glad you finally wrote to me. I have been worried about you. But Avi told me not to worry and that you are doing fine. He didn't give me your number or address. I am really sorry Simran, I hurt you. I am sorry. I can't face you. I know I am wrong. I denied my relationship with Disha and lied to you. You were right all the time. You are a very nice person Simran. Any man would be blessed to have you. I guess I was dumb enough not to understand your worth. I am not with Disha any longer. I had a fight with her and broke up. She was just after my money. Simran please come back. Let's start a new. Avi needs you. Please come back.

I am sorry.

Love Rahul

"What? Was this a trap! He wants me back after all this? What a nerve!"she thought. She was angry and confused. She started typing a reply again:

Sorry but I am not interested in coming back to you. I have erased you from my mind and life. Don't make Avi a scapegoat. He is big enough to handle himself. I am in love with someone else and quite happy in my life. Please don't complicate my life again!

She angrily clicked on the send button. She was infuriated now. She could feel her hands trembling with rage again and her cheeks burn.

There was a reply from Rahul again

Who are you in love with. How could you ? You are a bloody whore!! I am going to file a case against you!

This was the last straw! She banged the laptop shut. Such a nerve of that man to call me a whore!! What the hell is he then!! She lay down clenching her fists and grinding her teeth in anger. She picked up a pillow and put it across her mouth and screamed into the pillow. She didn't want the neighbours to hear her frustrated scream. Here she was trying to solve everything and this man was complicating things further. She felt like punching his face!