The streets of NYC is not the best place for a shy and quiet girl to grow up, but looking back I realize that I was safer in those streets than damn near anywhere...
Let me introduce myself. My name is Jahnee Blaise but back then I was known as Keisha Johnson. Oldest of 3, I was forced to watch out for my siblings as my mom did what she had to do. When it was just us, before my brothers were born, things wasn't the best but it was definitely better.
Then along came Uncle Dee. I was about 8 then. He would come by with gifts and groceries. Mama would cook and laugh like I'd never seen. We were happy. At least I thought we were happy. Around my 9th birthday, Mama, all smiles, tells us she has a surprise for me and Uncle Dee. She was pregnant... needless to say Uncle Dee wasn't so happy. He started yelling and cussing and calling Mama all types of whores and bitches. Scared by what was happening I ran to the bathroom and locked the door and waited for the argument to die down. I didn't find out until years later why he reacted that way.
His visits after that became less frequent and Mama was big as a house. When she went into labor he never even responded to the page I sent. So there I was holding my Mama hands as she brought Marquis and Elijah into the world. I vowed then to never have no babies. Mama went into a deep depression after that.
Depending on who is watching the clock time could be moving fast or slow. Sometimes when I was in school it felt like it took forever for that last bell to ring but my alarm for Monday mornings was always too quick. As other girls my age was playing catch 'em kiss 'em with the boys from our hood, I was inside being mommy to my brothers watching my Mama fade from existence.
I'll never forget the day I came home after getting the boys from Ms. Stacy to find Mama playing music and singing like she used to. I was so happy until I walked into the living room to find Uncle Dee sitting on the couch, Heineken in hand, looking way too comfortable.
"Hey baby girl, look at you getting big on me." he said with the biggest grin I'd ever seen. "You not gonna come give your Uncle Dee a hug?"