Previously I have never stepped foot into a brothel.
I mean, it's just not my kind of thing. Nor do I know how legal it is? I don't even know if there are any around where I'm from. I mean sure maybe there's some hidden warehouse somewhere, some underground stuff you see in movies and TV shows. But as an average person, a relatively young woman, I definitely don't know anything about it.
Now I'm sitting in one.
Not just any brothel. Apparently one back in time, far away in another land. It's practically another world.
It's...not as sexy as one may think. Really.
"You have UTI. " I diagnosis another woman here with urinary tract incontinence.
Let me make it clear again, that I am not a licensed doctor, let alone a gynecologist or any other specialty. At most I'm a medical assistant, with some student training. Some. Like volunteer work. Hell, I quit medical school for a reason!
In no way do I support fraud or medical malpractice. But somehow, here, in this fucked up ancient brothel, I'm the most qualified medical professional.
If it weren't for the madame's announcement like orders, that I was to see to anyone's concerns in the time I'm here, I wouldn't bother. But now I have been put to work.
In a brothel.
My mother would be so proud.
"Hmmpf! What does that mean? What a ridiculous way of saying things. Fix it at once!" the patient waves her fan at me, her underlings tidying up her clothes and pouring her a bottle of rice wine.
I have seen two patients before this one, with the exact same medical problem. But none as haughty as this beauty.
The first was shy and sobbing, absolutely beside herself. Just a young teenaged girl starting out on the floor. She cried, begging me to save her as if she were going to die from whatever ailed her.
The second stayed silent, shaking. As if too afraid to even tell me of her symptoms let alone allow me to properly examine her. She had to be begged and coaxed by some others to even face me.
Gong Xiulan, my current patient, however, is taking this the best out of all the girls I've seen so far.
By coincidence, she is the most popular of courtesans out of what I shall now label the UTI trio. Which may explain her arrogant attitude.
I feel so tired, so ready to clean up and return to my room to pass out.
I've been on call duty, getting bussed back and forth by lines of faceless maids to each patient's quarters. House calls really, for each girl. And every single one is far more trouble than what I would face in a modern office. Except maybe the crazies on clinical duty. Except way more 'delicate', like some hysterical grab bag of young ladies.
Yeah, let's just look at it like that....general clinical crazies. Each with their own approach.
We have anxious scared shitless in case 1.
Shy as fuck, suffering in silence case 2.
And a queen bitch in the making for case 3.
"Bacteria got somewhere up into your urinary tract. Urethra, bladder, kidneys. It got inflamed. And now it hurts you to pee." I deadpan, much to the courtesan's displeasure.
"Are you deaf and dumb!? How is anyone supposed to understand that! " she throws a cushion at me.
I don't deserve this shit.
"....you have an imbalance of yin to your yang then. Ahem, in a way you may understand...the area you excrete liquids from came into contact with something unclean, and it swells your organs on the inside, causing pain, discomfort and burning sensation. You must drink plenty of liquids and- "
"Disgusting! No tact! You truly are a foreigner! Ugly old maid! Don't bother spouting no one can understand. Fix this at once or I shall report to everyone what a fraud you are! Hmmpf!" she waves her fan as sips her wine haughtily.
I make to stand up, removing my gloves and stretching my tired neck. Three 'housecalls' in one day. Every single one with its own therapy problem for every woman.
All before evening, when the real work starts for these girls.
In the modern world, it wouldn't be such a big deal. UTI is a very common thing, and easily resolved with some antibiotics. A problem seeing how we don't have antibiotics.
Hell, a lot of people just deal with it by drinking plenty of water and waiting it out.
Hydrate lots. Avoid alcohol and certain irritating foods. Have some cranberry juice or yogurt. Hydrate more, go to the bathroom.
It's very rare that a UTI gets serious enough in most cases to warrant surgery. But it does happen.
Here, I'm guessing that something like UTI should be even more common in this line of work. Some unknown, possibly filthy, things coming into contact with those special parts. The secretive off putting attitudes here does not seem to help either.
Some are too shy to seek medical treatment. Some are too afraid, ashamed, and understandably uninformed. Some are just....terrible.
Especially this Gong Xiulan, who is truly pissing me off.
"Of course. I am but an old fraud. How can I ever start to help a high lady such as yourself? You must go find a physician then! I apologize for daring to waste this lady's time." I walk off with my gym bag.
"Wait! Where do you think you're going?" an almost as haughty maid steps away from Gong Xiulan's side to block me.
"Back to my quarters of course. I am but a foreign old maid, offering my help where it is needed. As the madame ordered. Nowhere as good as a professional here, please forgive my ignorance. I know when a patient is unpleased and do not wish to waste any of her time further. " I copy the leaving courtesy bow I see done here.
"My mistress is expected to entertain tonight, and you dare slight her?!" the maid makes to pull me back, as if to slap me.
Where do these girls learn this shit from? It's not like they have dramas to watch here. Is this how they really act?
I sigh as I grapple her outreached arm, placing it behind her back. She's just a young girl in a long traditional dress, smaller than myself and far weaker.
It makes me feel oh so tough then, to put her in a self-defense hold. Not.
"I do not put up with senseless stupid violence. " I pin her to the ground, much to all the surprised screaming of the servents and Gong Xiulan.
"You dare!" she angrily shouts, yet makes no move out of her seat. In fact, she even begins to sweat, nervously looking around her with stress. As if her maids were all useless for not coming up to stop me.
"Self defense. I saw an attack, and I defended myself from it. How else is it done here? Nor do I accept being slapped around? No one should?! What's wrong with all of you? Gong Xiulan, as a woman I do feel your pain and discomfort. Good luck working tonight." I pat the little trembling maid, pulling her up. Absolutely sure I didn't really hurt her.
She still cries none the less, and I would feel bad... Maybe I'm just too tired and cynical for this bullshit.
"And you, if you want to say something then say it properly. Don't go grabbing and attacking people. You're not a low-level gangster? Okay okay, cry it out, it's okay. Mistakes are okay, as long as you learn from them." I pat the now bawling girl, setting her over to a seat.
"If you truly care for your mistress. I can advise you all to keep your bottom clean, stop with the wine, and go see the herbalist. They see this kind of thing all the time, really, don't be embarrassed. You think you're the first and last woman to get this? In this line of work?! " I turn to sigh at them all.
This time I don't even bother to courtesy. Just pick up my makeshift doctor's bag and walk right the hell out of there. I'm tired!
I still don't know my way around this compound, but I'm beginning to familiarize myself and I can at least retrace my steps back. No escort needed.
When I walk, the busying servent and hiding courtesans peek from their spots. All pointing and whispering as I pass. I feel something like a zoo animal. A new attraction.
I probably look like it too. Given that I'm in scrubs while everyone else comes straight a pretty historical drama. Yeah, I just stand out a little bit.
Fuck it.
I turn a corner, dark and hidden. Free from any witness.
Then disappear.
Right into my empty dark apartment. Back in my time, my world.
Yeah, I'm getting the hang of this thing. Magic compact mirror and all.
I keep it in my pocket, never daring to part with it. I haven't really tested it out yet, but it seems to be the case I need to keep it on my person for this magic shit to work.
Back in my home territory though I throw everything off to throw myself in the shower.
If I bothered checking the time, it would still show the AM hours of the dark night, barely half a day from when all this shit started. Half a day from my own grandmother's funeral.
"Save her or die. " is still written on the compact mirror in rogue red stains, even if I don't look.
This is the whole reason I trapped in this situation. Playing quack school nurse to an ancient brothel that Lu Shan, most likely the woman I am to save, lives, and works in. And so I must stick around to 'save' her.
Or whoever the mirror means.
Could be Lu Shan. Could be one of her daughters. Could be the entire brothel!?
Blessed hot water runs over in heated jet streams, and I let myself stop thinking. Returning to the routine of shampooing and grooming. Wasting time.
"Save her or die: 9 days"
The stupid cursed mirror probably says. Time works strangely, much differently between these two realms. Days and nights have already passed over there, I've lived them, when it's not even the next morning here.
I have this entire mystery to solve. Save whoever. And work my ass off with weird shit ancient patients, who by the way can be just as bad if not worse than modern people. All in a brothel. Great.
It's a lot to take in and apparently I haven't fully come to accept it. That or the cool novelty is wearing off and the reality of the pressure is getting to me.
Toweling myself off in some clean pajamas, there's nothing I want to do more than roll into my own bed. Not some cot on the floor barely made better with sleeping, but my own damn mattress and bed.
But time is wasting on the other side.
I cuss out loud as I shuffle around my apartment. Looking for even more shit to pack in the next week or so I'm stuck over there. Possibly longer.
More clean scrubs and socks. Shit from the cleaning closet. Linens. A fucking hammer, because hey maybe I'll need some way more serious self dense.
When my stomach growls, betraying me, I shuffle to the kitchen.
Plenty of leftovers I could reheat. Some random fruits and packaged snacks on the counter and cabinets. But somehow nothing calls to me.
I think I'm getting a little to used to the plain and herbal congees and pickles. Fresh soy milk. The little luxuries that's completely ordinary on that side. Shrugging, I reach for a protein shake bottle. one of the cold ones I already keep in the fridge.
Chocolate flavor.
Lu Yan...there's a little girl over there that's never had chocolate since I came along. A cute little girl living in a brothel. Someone I never should have met in a place I never should have been able to see let alone step into.
Groaning in the stress of it all, I grab the shake and slam the fridge door. After chugging half the thing down, I make to rummage across my kitchen for anything to last me over there. Just in case. As well as some home remedy ingredients for my 'patients' aka the UTI trio. Or well at least the first two, who I honestly feel quite bad for.
What? I'm no doctor and under no oaths.
Green Tea. Vitamin C drink packets. I don't know some yogurt in the fridge.
If anything Lu Yan could demolish it. From what I see of that kid she's more than ready to accept any strange new snack I may offer. Especially if it's chocolate flavor. She's too skinny anyway, and some of the protein shakes I intend to give her as nutritional add ons.
For myself, I grab those barely opened bags of snacks. Most importantly my french press and whatever bags of pre-ground coffee I keep in the cabinet. I have a feeling I'm going to need a lot of coffee. And of course, more protein shakes. Yay, the life force of a busy working woman.
Then it's back to searching and cussing across my apartment, looking for anything of use.
Hate to say it, but that includes my old medical books. References that can actually be used. While I'm at it, I start up my laptop at the same time I plug it in to charge it. As I organize the rest of what rummage around, I let the device download not so random material from the internet.
Encyclopedia of Chinese herbs. History references. More medical notes in addition to what still on there.
Oh and some damn movies and catch up tv episodes so I don't go crazy. I click around, downloading, and organizing files. Connecting my phone and laptop for these wonderfully free resources of modern knowledge.
Here's to run as a quack brothel doctor in another world.
I'm already stuck in this situation. Let's make the best of it and not fuck up too much.