11:53 PM, Jan 10th 2012, Pondicherry.
80 Kmph… Half Drunk… Broken Heart…
108 Kmph...As I increased the speed, the cool breeze with drizzling rain chilled my spine and
slowly like a spreading poison I got lost in her beautiful memories. An involuntary smile
came up on my face as it happened every time I think of her. Sensitivity of her memories
began to increase and made me remember her words - "I know you are not at all handsome,
But I love you because I love the way you love me"..."I will kill you if you look at other girls,
you are only for me, and I want you to think only about me...always".
A sudden horn from a heavy vehicle behind made me to come out of her thoughts. My whole
body jerked with the sound of horn. I turned back and waved hand at them to cross me on my
right. When I turned front I could not see anything in fog but I realized that I am about to hit a car which is rushing towards me, driving on the wrong side. I slammed on the disc brakes
and turned to the right to avoid collision but my bike made a dying skid heading towards the
centre road. The vehicle behind me too deflected to its right because of my sudden deflection.
But it's too late. Within no time the vehicle behind me hit my bike.
Something happened...I am in air…My whole body is in air…I am thrown forward. The
smile on my face deserted out. There's nothing that could slow me down as my whole body
started circling in the air and smashes against the front glass of car coming in wrong side and
bends like Ushtrasana in yoga postures. My face turned at an awkward angle from the neck,
and bloody hands are touching my twisted ankles' from back. I can feel the pain of shattered glass fragments imbedding my face and peeled off my skin on the right hand. My face
crumpled up and felt like the squeezed football before it's kicked off. My jawline wrenched
and teeth got knocked out. Blood flooded from my forehead and oozed out from my nose. I
couldn't move my hands. My legs twisted. I hear my own bones in hands and legs sounds like
broken twigs. A piece of glass pierced an inch through my shoulder separating my muscle
and bones. Slowly my body rolled on the front deck of car and fell on ground facing the
moon-lighted sky.
Slowly, I tried opening my eyes, but couldn't see anything clearly. There's no trace of life in
my eyes. And I lost hope that I would survive from this accident. I guess my death is
endorsed. I guess Lord Yama must be waiting somewhere around me to pick me with him.
Looking at the gleaming stars on those last moments of my life made me felt that I am going to reach them in hours. It is believed that few minutes before we die our brain creates a visual
world of our entire life around us. Not money, not fame, but the only thing I remembered was
the relations that hold back people in this world. If I turn back my life and search, there is
only one beautiful memory for me…Sanjuuu…my Angel…my Idiot…my Love. I am scared that I should walk out of my world. Yes!! My World !! It's "HER". I am scared that I will never be able to feel the way I felt when I was with her. My eyes searched for signs of her in those sparkling stars.
The morning sun was mine
The glittering stars were mine
The most precious stone lay in my palms
When I had you in my arms
The illusions seemed more realistic
The magic made sense
My greatest fears destined for calms
When I had you in my arms
My primitive aura defined around you
All the cherished memories lying around you
It seemed I held the world with charm
When I had you in my arms
"Why did you leave me when you loved me so much !! Why !! You left me without any
reason!! I need a reason !! I want you back Sanjuu!! I would do anything to have you back!!"
my heart spoke to silent darkness around me. Never ending thoughts creeped into my heart.
Those unforgettable moments with her never left me. Though she is not with me, HER every
thought, HER every memory, HER every dream shared her place with me. I could hear a man
voice speaking in phone for ambulance. All I wanted to do is to perk up and grab the phone to call my Sanjuu and listen to her voice for one last time before I leave this beautiful world.
Within no time I felt I am taken into ambulance. I started to lose consciousness. I shouted out
"Sanjuu" but all I can have is a whimper escaping my lips and I am _____
20 Minutes Earlier:
11:33 PM on the same day.
ECR WINES – Bar and Restaurant, Pondicherry.
It's a hut behind ECR WINES with a dim light hung in the centre and 8 tables arranged
unevenly and all the tables occupied by the happiest people in the world - the drunkards.
Finally and luckily we got 2 chairs to sit inside the heaven ECR WINES.
"Will this kill my pain? Can this make me forget her?" I repeatedly asked these questions to
Ravi, while he was busy mixing the right proportion of soda and whiskey as if a scientist
experimenting with chemicals.
"Here" Ravi beamed, edging the glass towards me. I looked at the glass of whiskey, now, in
my hands, and wondered how the taste would be. Before I could even smell it, Ravi
completed his quarter and started his regular speech.
"Machaa!! This is the only magical cure for any pain in this world. God created Amrutham
for them and gave Alcohol for us. Just have two pegs and you will forget who you are and even about her", Ravi replied enthusiastically as if he was an expert in solving love problems.
But then he had always been my love guru.
"I am going to become an alcoholic from today!!" I shouted bitterly.
I didn't know why I was here in this bar with a glass of whisky in hand. She entered my life
like a magical breeze, got stuck in my mind and made my life miserable leaving me without
even giving the reason. I should find it now. I should find out the reason why she left me.
We came outside the bar in half drunken state, my eyes are blinking and a feel of pain,
frustration, hatred mixed with love is coming out from mind. As I am about to start my bike, I
could hear a familiar voice speaking behind me. I turned back and got shocked.
"Enna da pandra Inga", my circuit's lab technician asked. I am still in shock.
"You alone came here" he asked again. "No.... Noooo Sir, I came with Ravi, he is in back
seat" I replied.
"Are you mad, where is Ravi?" , he questioned.
I turned back, but couldn't find him. He is sleeping there on the chair in the bar. He took 6
glasses today as I am sponsor.
"Keep your foot on kick rod not on footrest and start the bike",Lab technician spoke and went
inside to bring Ravi, as soon as he went inside I started my bike towards road no: 1, Rajiv
Gandhi Statue, Pondicherry, the place where my angel lived.