Reality of depression

Mai rahul hu mai haryana me chote se sehar ka rehne wala hu mujhe bachpan se bade sapne dekhne ka shauk rha hai mai apne sapno ki duniya me bahut khush hota tha jab mai akela baitha hota to mai apni banayi hui duniya me chala jata jo khushi mujhe waha mili wo kahi bhi na mil saki m 3 saal ka tha jab mujhe meri daadi school chodne jaati thi mujhe school jana kabi acha nhi laga kyuki mje wha bhut akela lagta tha mujhe sabse dar lagta tha sayad isliye aaj bhi mujhe sapno ki duniya achi lagti hai mujhe sab mujhse jyada inteligent lagte the mujhe lagta tha mai in sb k sath sayad adjust nahi kar sakta or aisa hua bhi kisi ko mai khas acha nhi lagta tha jaise jaise mai bada hua to smajh aaya baat karne wale to bahut hai par saath dene wala koi nahi isliye mai bhut akela feel karne laga mujhe school me kabi ache marks nahi aaye ghrwale kabi khush nhi hopaaye mne sayad kabi aisa koi kaam nhi kiya ki mere ghrwale mere hone pr garv mehsus kar sake mujhe bachpan me he is baat ka ehsaas hogya tha ki sayad mujhe is duniya me nhi rehna chaiye mai bhut baar akela baithta or y sochta ki suicide krleni chaiye pr kahi na kahi mere mn me ye khyaal bhi aata ki mere baad mere ghrwalo ka kon hai depression ek aisi bimari hai jo suddenly nhi aati ye hmare dimag me hoti hai bas ehsaas tab hota hai jab koi ise feel krane wala hmari zindagi me aajata hai hum pehle se he bhut akele hote hai tab hmari zindagi me koi aisa aata hai jo us akelepan ko door karta hai hum khush rehne lagte hai usko dekh kar ek alag he energy hme milti hai pr mere dost kuch bhi is duniya me constant nhi hai jo aaya hai wo ek din jaayega to hme iske liye tyaar rehna chaiye jab wo hme chod kr jaate hai to hme usi akelepan ka puri trah se ehsaas hota hai or fir hm jise depression kehte hai wo shuru hota hai mere akelepan ki shuruwat bachpan me hogyi thi jo kahi na kahi depression ka roop le sakti hai