4/2019
I was awaken by my 6PM alarm.
I quickly got up and started preparing dinner for the kids. I was already in the shower when my phone rang. Xi was calling. I was excited, it's been 24 hours since his last text message and almost 3 days since our last Skype video call. He's been away for 2 weeks since he flew to CDO for his mother's funeral and it's been a busy week for him.
"Hi Hon"
"Cha it's Liz"
Liz is Xi's sister, a lawyer and the one handling my annulment case.
Her voice is firm but I can feel that she's scared of something.
"Where is Xi? Why do you have his phone?"
"Xi had an accident and he will need to undergo surgery. He's in coma since last night."
My body froze and my hands were shaking, my imagination is displaying so many things and it's scary.
Liz broke the silence.
"I need his insurance details and do you have access to his account?"
"yes"
Liz asked me to transfer a huge amount to the hospital account and another for his Air transfer to Manila. I did as I was told and provided the insurance details she needs.
It took them another 24 hours to complete the surgery and air transfer, it was already 5Pm the next day when he was transfered to the ER in St. Lukes.
He was still sleeping when he was moved to his room. The doctor said he was put on induced comma to help heal his brain injury, he was also given meds to prevent seizures that may cause more pressure to his brain.
The doctor said he should be up after 8 hours. He also set our expectations that his chance of surviving this accident is low and if he does there's a very small chance that he will be able to go back to his normal life.
I stayed with him the entire evening, I can barely close my eyes, I just want to watch him sleep. His head was neatly shaved and there were 4 machines connected to his body. The
sound of the ventilator was the only thing I can hear, I was so scared and I miss him so much.
6AM and it's been 8 hours since they put Xi to sleep, he was suppose to wake up now.
The nurses who assisted us last night went home already and the 6AM nurse just finished her rounds, replaced his urine bag and put in a new IV. It is still quiet and the sound of the ventilator was the only noise filling the room.
8AM Tonio arrived, he brought coffee and my favorite blueberry cheesecake from Starbucks. The nurse did not allow us to eat inside so we decided to eat in the cafeteria.
How's uncle? Tonio asked
"Still the same." I replied I was trying my best not to cry.
But I failed, I burts into tears again.
"Tita, he will be okay" Tonio was trying to console me.
He gave me his slice of chocolate cake and took the blueberry.
"You need that, that will help better your mood. " he said.
"The coffee was good and the sweets was suppose to make me happy, but no amount of sugar can change how I feel right now." I told him
"I know" he said with his tears falling.
10AM Xi was still sleeping, it's been 12 hours. Tonio and I patiently waited in his room, the silence was deafening, and the nurse who was doing her rounds just checked the machines and vitals then confirmed to us that it's all normal and left.
I stepped out to get another cup of coffee, I overheard the nurse and Xi's doctor, she was providing him with his details and the doctor ordered for another set of test. It didn't sound good.
12PM, its 14 hours and he's still sleeping. Finally his doctor came in and gave the instructions for another MRI. It took them another hour to perform the test.
At 2PM I heard a loud beep from one of his monitors, 3 nurses rushed to his room, I was asked me to stay on the side while they were trying to put a metal tube in his mouth, and not later than 3 minutes the doctor joined them, they connected 2 more machines to his unconscious body, and a defibrillator, I saw how his body jerked with the electric shock, once, twice and they stopped, his heartbeat is back.
I was shaking, too scared to move from where I was standing, the nurse had to escort me outside as they need to do more test and fix those wires and tubes connected to him.
Another 2 hours passed and he was moved to the NCCU, this time we were asked to wait outside.
Tonio was as terrified as I am.
We were sitting side by side but not talking. We don't know what to say.
I decided to step out to get some air, I just remembered, we haven't had lunch. I went back and asked Tonio to eat but he declined.
"I cannot take this anymore" I told myself.
I advised Tonio that I will go home to take a shower and get us some decent food.
Before I leftI went to the nurse station, Xi's doctor was there. He advised me that Xi had a stroke and a seizure while he was on coma and that caused the pressure in his brain. They will need to create an opening in his skull to reduce the pressure and if Xi will not wake up in the next 8 hours they will need to proceed with the surgery and chances of him gaining back his consciousness will be lower.
"Sir is there anything that can be done" I asked Dr. Tan
"I'm afraid that what we can only do now is wait and pray, have faith."
After saying that he excused himself.
My tears were falling as I walk to his car at the parking area. Xi is my go to person and this is the 1st time in the last 15 years that I felt so alone.
The heaven seems to be weeping with me as the dark clouds began to cover the afternoon sky and it started to rain.
.....
When everyone else is having a happy Easter,
here we are in your hospital room with all these machines connected to you.
I can't help but cry, it's breaking my heart.
I know how frustrated you will be for losing the way of life you used to live, but for me, I will do everything just to see you awake, to see those cute chinito eyes smiling again.
When everything else becomes difficult, when the usual becomes impossible, when all the glamour is gone...
I will be here for you.
I will be your legs when you cannot walk
I will be your eyes and read you all your favorite books.
I will bath you, dress you when you cannot, tuck you to bed at night, brush you, feed you, and even sing to you.
I will never leave your side.
I am with you at your best
and will always be when you need me the most..
I love you
and
I will love you more each day.
Xi stay strong, I'm here.