I straightened my face with my lips tight together as I tried to understand his point. But I can never.
He was trying to intimidate me, taking down my defenses, the walls which I created as barricades to keep myself from the pain of reality.
Yet this is all real in any sense. This man is hideously scarring my defenses away, making me see the harsh reality of what I have done, we did.
"Nobody will be hurt once you obey me, Justine," he said in a thick hoarse voice with no hint of mockery.
My blouse started to get crumpled for trying to control my emotion. Nobody he says? What about me then?
The cold Siberian wind blew my hair from the window, but I know the chills I'm getting were not solely because of it. Pierre himself is a walking ice God.
"B-but I don't even love you, Pierre" I reasoned out with uncertainty. I couldn't even recognize a bit of my voice. He scoffed as if I was ridiculous to even say it.
"You should think of that before you spread your legs to me...more so offer it to some madman"
I felt my cheeks heated up as his eyes turned fiery, giving a different reaction to my body. He sensually licked his lips, those lips that had traveled all over the corners of my body last night. Suddenly, the room felt like it was on fire. I gulped a couple of times as sweat trailed down my forehead.
I hold on to my clothes as if it could ease the tension drastically building between us. I could feel my blouse tearing but I need to displace this emotion or God knows what recklessness I would do at this desperate moment.
"Please Pierre, try to reconsider. I know you are used to having women at your side. I... I am no exemption... just think of me as... as"
His brows furrowed and I was not able to continue as his eyes grew a shade darker. His jaw tightened and I could see his muscles contracting. Instantly, the fire we felt a while ago melted as Pierre's angry face becomes more prominent.
"Treat you like a bitch and go after my brother after fucking with me? Is that what you're trying to say, Justine?" He asked while gritting his teeth.
My heart wanted to explode at the sight of him. He was mad. Not just mad but too mad that if he was allowed to strangle me right now, he would.
I immediately shook my head, almost on the verge of crying. I felt so helpless.
"No, what I mean to say... I-I was not myself that day Pierre!! Y-you just took advantage of me! That was just a mistake. I... I love Cian. Don't ruin us, please please"
He muttered a strong curse. I flinched in my seat, my hands were trembling as his voice roared like thunder. I swallowed back my cries and covered my mouth with my hand.
"Bullshit!" he cursed again.
"Any sane and healthy man would not be able to control his urge if the woman is so giving Justine. You were offering yourself to me, needless to say, you are the one who took advantage. Don't blame me for everything. You ruined yourself" he said in a controlled voice yet his eyes were blazing like fire.
He brushed his hair with his finger, tiny sweats were evident on his forehead.
"Fuxk it! You are damn not good for my ego Justine" He hissed. I looked away because I can't take how he stares at me.
I bit my lips to suppress my whimpers, I could even savor the metallic taste from my tongue.
"Don't worry, I'm not a total monster as what you have in mind. I'll give you the privilege to tell your Dad and Lucian about this." He said dismissively. He balled his hand in a fist, while his voice seemed calm.
"You have to tell them, Justine, the sooner the better because I don't want to have an illegitimate child" he continued.
My eyes widened. I was alarmed and instantly raised my head to get his attention.
"W-wait! Maybe... I mean we.."I was lost for words. But he just gave me a bored look.
"We did it countless times Justine, I didn't use protection and I'm sure as hell to never let you take an after pill." He said dangerously making me gulp again. He was becoming blurry as tears pooled from my eyes.
"But this is all against my will Pierre," I said in frustration. But he was still apathetic to all my sentiments. His Godly face is devoid of any mercy. It was as if his decision was final.
"Then bear with it. You are an adult now, handle this maturely" He said coldly which destroyed all the confidence in me. I don't know if I could even handle this. This is too sudden.
I wanted to talk back but seeing how unmoved he is and how much power he has, I felt so little. Pierre is not the type of man you could just beg for favors, Pierre is a businessman, he needed to gain... he needs profit.
And what would be his profit from all of this chaos? A child.
"Your Dad will be here any minute, tell him or you won't like it if I make a move Justine"
Then he walked out of the room leaving me in doom. My eyes drifted to the closed door. I felt so empty. I wanted to run after him and kneel if I needed to just to keep this as a secret or better yet bury this mistake and go on with our lives.
But it will never happen. Pierre had made his decision.
I touched my belly and panic instantly rose into me. No, I don't want to get pregnant. Not now.
Not when all of my dreams are just starting to be realized. My dreams with Cian, with the hotel, and with my future.
I ran my hands on my hair. What am I gonna do now? Of all people, why him? Why with his brother?
That morning, I felt so weak. I sat on the couch for a minute before I decided to leave Dad's library. No matter how hard I come up with a better solution, I always end up afraid of my devised list.
One, if Pierre would know that I would just tell Dad a different story then he would surely tell Dad of the truth himself plus more. While if I tell Dad myself, he would be surely disappointed and might marry me off to him.
And that is the most dangerous part, I don't want to be married to Pierre.
The only safe thing to do is to encourage Pierre to keep this for the meantime and in that way I could plan some actions to change Pierre's mind.
I know it is a lot to do but I have no better choice than to try it.
Dad went home as Pierre said. It looks as though Dad had no idea of what happened last night. Pierre was indeed true to his words and if he were, then that would mean I should be nervous for myself. God knows what he would do if I won't do as he told me.
Right after Pierre left the mansion, Dad came in along with his bodyguards. There were still in formal suits and seemingly tired as if they had been to some battle.
Dad's eyes were gloomy yet he still welcomed me in an embrace.
"So I have ongoing business trips outside the country, you might want to accompany me so you'd be familiar with the process" he suddenly said, getting my attention back to him.
We were having breakfast and I forgot to ask about his whereabouts last night and what he had been doing because I was too preoccupied with my bigger problem with Pierre.
He cut his steak while waiting for my answer. On the other hand, I swallowed the meat in my mouth then sipped a wine.
"It's a good idea Dad, I'll finish my modules and projects so I can go with you"
He nodded, delighted with my feedback.
"Well, then it is settled. I know you can easily familiarize the work in the company Elle. You are excellent in everything you do" he added proudly.
I frowned in my mind. My grip on the glass tightened while trying to give back the smile to Dad.
I couldn't agree more. If I was excellent enough, then things with Pierre shouldn't happen.
"Don't worry Dad, I won't disappoint you"
We finished our breakfast and Dad canceled all of his appointments for the day because of an important trip.
He already informed me that he will be home late and when he said late it is no less than dawn. Usually, he had trips that would take too much of his time. Those trips are something private since I had no idea where he is going.
Sometimes when I get too nosy, I eavesdrop at his library. But every time I do, he kind of knows as if he has eyes everywhere, so that's why I get used to observing him secretly. In that way, Dad won't know that I am watching his move.
I went on to class as usual and since we are already graduating we have lesser face to face sessions. However, I was not myself the whole day and Cian keeps on asking me if something was wrong.
We are seating together at the corner of the wide baseball field of Montogomery University. The big oak tree-shaded us from the rays of the sun yet I am still sweating real hard because of Cian.
His eyes chinked waiting for my answer.
I puffed a sigh. I don't want to lie to him and he would surely know if I am lying.
"Come on babe, it's just about the company. I know Dad is trying his best not to pressure me with the responsibility but it still gives me thrills." I said, which is half true. I am worried about handling our family business, being the sole heir of a multimillion hotel is a big responsibility.
He gave me an understanding smile then held my hand.
"You got me nervous over there, I thought it was something so serious" he chuckled, squeezing my hand a little.
I felt so guilty. I know Cian was trying to believe me and he knows there are much bigger things worrying me.
"Don't worry about your Dad babe, and I will help you with him... everything for that matter. We will get through this together," he assured me, kissing both my hands then placing them on his cheeks. His dark brown eyes fixed to mine, staring at me seriously that I could almost drown.
"You have me, Elle, so you have nothing to worry about" he whispered, his hot minty breath fan on my face.
I bit my lips to stop my tears and hugged him.
"Thank you, Cian. Thank you. I wasn't feeling well the whole day and you gave me peace of mind. You were the only one who eased my worries" I admitted. I was too grateful, I couldn't help but shed a tear.
He chuckled and encircled his big arms around me. It felt so comfortable. It was like someone is shielding me and will protect me from all the pain of life.
Then, he kissed my forehead, caressing my hair back and forth until I was composed. I don't care if we are showing public affection in broad daylight, but this is what I needed.
"I will always be here for you babe. I will do anything for you Elle"
I wiped my tears.
Soon I will tell Cian of my mistake. But not now, I don't have the courage yet. And it would just break me as how it would break him.