One thing she didn't know was that Kevin's feelings were in chaos too. His emotions were mixed and unspeakable. His eyes were fixed on the mirror as he stood idly before the washbasin. The man in the mirror looked regretful and tired both physically and mentally. His hairs were in a mess, and his eyebrows were knitted. His usually lively eyes were filled with remorse. Even his lips were pale and slightly quivering. The man in the mirror didn't look any inch close to the brilliant and promising Major General the public knew. He couldn't even recognize himself. In all honesty, he never expected Leena to get injured right before his eyes. The enormous remorse and sadness he was feeling were enough to choke him. He wouldn't say to her but he had been accusing and suspecting himself since it happened. Was it still valid for him to be called a soldier? He couldn't even protect his woman! How could he even protect his family and defend the country?
Kevin was again on the verge of guilt when a beautiful face suddenly appeared in the mirror. She was looking at him through his reflection. A few seconds after and a pair of slim arms embraced his strong waist. It was only upon feeling the warmth of those arms that his body relaxed and stopped trembling.
"I'm sorry, Kevin. Did I say something wrong? I didn't mean it. Please don't show me such a depressed look. It makes me sad too," whispered Leena as she tenderly leaned her face against his broad back and listened to his breaths.
"Louisa came to the army base to see me today." Kevin ignored what the woman said and chose not to answer her previous question. He didn't confirm whether he was angry or not. Rather, he calmly diverted her attention by telling her something completely unrelated to the topic.
"Did she?" queried Leena in a haste. Her attention was suddenly focused on what Kevin just said rather than what she asked. She tried to stay calm but the way her arms trembled around his waist gave her real emotions away. Her mind was bombarded with too many questions she couldn't even speak out. 'Why did Kevin say this? What was Louisa doing with Kevin? What were they doing?' she bit her lower lip to stop herself from wondering. She wanted to trust Kevin and his promises but she just couldn't stop getting worried upon hearing Louisa's name.
"Aren't you wondering why she came to see me?" Kevin put his hand atop hers and held her. He couldn't see her face since she was standing behind him. Thus, he couldn't see the sadness on her face.
"I'm curious. However, I would not ask you unless you tell me." The warmth from his hands made Leena feel calmer. It was just a mere touch, however, it was enough to make her doubts and uncertainties disappear. This was intimacy she enjoyed with Kevin the most. 'Who cares about Louisa! Kevin is mine!' her mind screamed as she buried her face on his back even more.
"Nothing really. She just came there and tried to provoke me about your past relationship. However, you already told me about Gerard even before she came. So, she failed." Kevin grinned bitterly. He didn't mean to say that but he didn't know what was wrong with him either. Leena's tenderness on him was making him even more guilty. He liked her embrace the most but it felt like he didn't deserve it at all. And now that he had blurted something he shouldn't. He was left with no choice but to continue with the nonsense topic. What a shit!
"I see. So what do you think? Do you think that I'm cunning because I anticipated her plan and told you about Gerard ahead?" Leena pulled herself away from him. Was this what he was thinking about all along? Was this the reason why he was suddenly quiet? Did he think of her as someone calculating? Goodness! Were all her worries and shame just for nothing now? How ridiculous she was!
"Nana, look at me." Kevin's reaction kicked in immediately upon hearing the doubt in her tone. He immediately turned to her and looked straight to her eyes. "Do I look like a man who doesn't trust his wife?" Those words got Leena a bit surprised. She swallowed the lump that formed in her throat and then looked back at Kevin with fake bravery.
"Otherwise, what do you think? Are you just telling me this to see how I would react? Or would you want to tell me more?" said Leena in a challenging tone.
"I know it's my fault that you are feeling this way but I really want to know where I am standing. Compared to your brothers, where am I in your heart, Leena? Am I even there?" He was stuck! For the first time in his life, the Major General was seeing how much he cared about Leena! It was that special type of care that was engulfing him and was driving him to compare himself to her brothers. It had been a very slow process for him but he was finally there! He loved her! He loved her more than anything now! He loved her to the extent that it made him scared to think about what he would lose and gain just to be with her.
"What? What does this have to do with them?" With one of her eyebrows raised, Leena looked at him confusedly. 'Aren't we talking about Louisa? How was the topic suddenly changed?' she thought. She raised her head a little like a puzzled child without breaking her eye-contact with Kevin. She badly needed to reconfirm his question.
"Nothing." Kevin pretended to be cool and then looked around to avoid her stare. He would never tell her his real reason for asking these seemingly stupid questions no matter what Leena would ask later. But God knew how much he was dying to find out who was the most important in her heart. "I would still want to know your answer though."