" Dude, why don't you just go and talk to her. Tell her that you still love her, I mean just take risk." said Shaun, my best buddy.

I'm Evan, 23 and I'm a jerk. I'm looking at her right at this very moment, at my soul mate, at my masterpiece... The one I just had the happiest moments of my life with. Her name is Zeia Gilberts , now my ex-girlfriend.

" It's not that easy Shaun. I broke her heart. What right do I have to even talk to her."

" Well, my brother Evan listen to me very carefully. Dude, just tell her the truth. Yes you've done bad things and hurt her and she has every right to be mad at you so give her the opportunity to let it all out. "COMMUNICATION" it's very important. Go on dude, tell her now before it's too late. " He said while pushing me towards Zeia.

" Dude! Stop! "

" Go break a leg! "

I was almost there. She's just a few meters away. She looks so beautiful when she focuses on something. I'm gonna remember this and paint it, it'll be another masterpiece for sure. Her hair in a bun, her eye focused on a book she was reading and an earphone on her ear. Wow, she's just amazingly beautiful.

Then in a sudden, a guy came. He was tall, taller than me. He looks familiar too. Oh yeah, I remember now. Of course he's familiar, he's the star player of our university's basketball team before. Harry Wilsen, I remember him. She used to be so head over heels for that guy. Now... guess what.

" Woah, woah. Wait a sec. Is that Harry Wilsen? Oh man, that guy is a total jerk. Why is he going towards Zeia? Hey, dude! Wake up Evan! Go approach her first."

" Let's stop this Shaun. What chance do I have now? Come on, it's okay. Let's just go, I don't want to bother her anymore. "

" What? That's it? You're not going to fight for her? "

" Shaun! Please stop this. It's over. It's my fault. I had her, she was mine but I... I lost her okay. It was all my fault, it's over. Let's just go. "

I was a jerk.

I love her but I broke her heart.

I knew how she loved me but I chose to gave her up.

Now I will never have the chance to win her back.

***

FLASHBACK

" Baby, is everything okay? "

Zeia asked with worry, she looked at me with her angelic eyes.

" No."

I said coldly. I was painting while having the conversation. I couldn't look at her. I know I can't say what I need to say if I look at her. I need to say it.

" What's wrong babe? Did I do something that offended you? Please tell me. Let's talk about it."

She was about to cry. Damn it, I need to say it fast and just walk away. If she starts crying, I'll end up hugging her and telling her everything. She's my weakness, I can't stand hearing her sobs. It kills me.

" Baby, please look at me. Evan, you still love me right? Please - -"

" Stop! Stop it okay! You're making this hard for me. You have always made everything hard for me Zeia! Everything! Let's stop this okay? Let's end this shit. I don't want to see you again. "

I immediately took off with out looking back. I just walked away. I didn't see her reaction nor heard her cry. I ended it there.

I went to my apartment. Went to my room and turned on the radio with full volume. I just lay down my bed. Stared at the ceiling for hours. Damn, I can't even hear anything. I can't believe I finally did it.

Last week while doing my art I was talking to Shaun. He was saying things about his girlfriend and that we were lucky jerks. I remember laughing at him ant telling him a joke about break ups. Then suddenly, I felt my right hand tremble, my eyes began to blur and my head started hurting like its going to explode. My brain felt like it's on fire. I remember screaming because of the pain and Shaun asking me what's going on then everything went black.

When I woke up, I was already on the hospital bed. Shaun came in with the doctor and approached me immediately.

" What the hell happened to me? Why am I here Shaun?"

" Dude, I think Doctor Hans should answer that."

From the looks of it, I think I'm about to die. The doctor had that look in his eye where death is coming to greet you any second.

" Son, you have a tumor in your brain. We have to - - - "

And I didn't hear what follows, what I understood is that I will die soon. A tumor in the brain is not a joke, I know because my father died because of it.

When the doctor was out, Shaun talked to me. Tried to even joke about it when I can obviously see that he's about to cry. Damn this cruel life. When everything is just perfect there comes some shit waiving at you to say hello I'm gonna fuck you up.

" Evan, when are you telling Zeia. She has been calling for like 30 times already asking me about you. Dude just answer her calls please. She won't stop asking and nagging at me, I can't take it anymore."

" Sorry dude, I'm gonna call her now."

" Dude, she has the right to know. You need to tell her, okay. You need her right now."

" I don't want her to feel what I felt when I knew that my dad's going to die. Shaun, can you promise not to let her know about this?"

" Shit, fine. I just don't think it's a good idea to hide it from her. Until when can you hide this? "

" I don't know dude. I don't know, just leave it to me. "

I thought about it, Shaun may be right. I need her, I badly do. I'm so scared to die you know. I'm not ready yet. I'm doing good with my life. My paintings are selling good. I have a wonderful girlfriend who supports me all the time and then suddenly this fucking tumor came.