I don't believe in true love... the love stories don't excite me but you never know what comes next!
The city was new and I was really looking forward to my new job. I was hoping that i could easily settle down in the new place. Seattle was not so bad though! And, I was trying to make myself as comfortable as I could. I entered this amazing tall building which I could not even see properly while standing at its front. It was the tenth floor for which I pushed the button in the elevator. I was stepping confidently, yet hesitatingly when I was out of that elevator. The blonde girl at the reception asked me about my purpose of visiting the office. And, I showed her the appointment letter. She asked me to sit at a cosy brown-coloured couch, which was indeed very comfortable. As soon as I took a sigh of relief, the receptionist asked me to come with her. She took me to the small cabin-like space which, I would say, was not a proper cabin but separated from the rest of the part of the office. There was standing a fine-figured lady and I guessed that I had to assist her from that day. I introduced myself,
"Hello Mam, Myself Jessica Jones. I have joined here as an assistant"
"Welcome! I am Sarah Williams, you can call me Sarah. You will be assisting me from today." She cleared.
I smiled as a sign of a polite gesture. I was directed towards my seat which was not very far from Sarah. And, that was obvious! Till then, everything was fine, I settled down quickly and prepared myself for my work. Sarah guided me through the things that I would be managing in a small session. People in office were quite friendly. However, I am not a person who starts the conversations with the strangers. I confess I am an ambivert. I was asked to make some points for the next presentation for which some drafts were handed over to me by Sarah. In the hope of learning new things, I engrossed myself into the work that I was assigned with. Then, all of a sudden I realized its 4 PM and I haven't eaten anything. I stood up from the chair and stepped towards the cafeteria to grab a cup of coffee. I was lucky to find a large cafeteria with good food. So, I had sandwiches along with the coffee. I ate the sandwich and thought of working again while sipping the hot coffee. On my way back to my desk, I bumped into Ashley Stewart. Oh by the way, Ashley was my colleague. She was chirpy, talkative and very friendly. After talking to her, I got to know that she was inquisitive as well.
"So, how's your first day?" She asked very excitingly.
"Pretty Cool" I answered confidently.
"You know Sarah is not that easy one to work with. You need to work really hard to win her appreciation."
"Thanks for the advice." I smiled a little.
"Where you said you are from?"
"St. Louis"
"Oh! That's a nice place and what about your boyfriend? Do you have any?"
"No. I don't."
"Oh Sarah is coming. I should leave. Buh Bye"
Thank God! Sarah saved me and I went back to my seat with my coffee which was not hot anymore. So, I started my work again and all of a sudden, I heard Sarah exclaiming "Sir" to someone. I tried to peek a little from my seat but in vain. So, I decided to complete my work.
The day ended on a good note. And, I happily submitted the major points of the presentation to Sarah before leaving the office. The weather was good outside. I thought of boarding a bus of which I had no clue at all. So, I decided to walk a few blocks. Luckily, Natalie got a good apartment in Redmond that saved a lot of time in travelling. I live here with my old school friend Natalie. She is also working in some IT company here in Seattle.
I reached the apartment by 7 and Natalie was not at home. I freshen up and decided to cook something for both of us. Pasta will be a good option, I suggested myself.
"I am home. Jess"
It's Natalie of course. She is a lot different from me. But, she is caring and that's what makes me like her.
"Hey!"
"So! How was your day?"
"It was good. Indeed! A lot better than expected! My boss Sarah is a good lady and the colleagues seems friendly."
"Cool!"
"I made pasta for us. Hope you like it."
"Of course! I love PASTA."
She loves Italian food.
"How was your day?"
"It was good. Jake dropped me here after office."
Jake is Natalie's boyfriend and they work in the same office. They were dating for few months. It was before I came to Seattle. Yes, Natalie was here before me.
"So, how's everything going between you and Jake?"
"Everything is fine and smooth as it should be. And, I am happy with that. Hopefully, he remains loyal and gentle."
"I wish the same for you"
"Tell me something. Do you still feel the same about love that you used to feel before?"
I knew what she was talking about. I used to feel that true love does not exist. People do not value your emotions. They betray you, cheat you and let you down. You end up having nothing but tears. Love just hurts you and nothing else. The love stories and fairy tales about the prince charming who will come one day to take you with him and keep you happy forever are completely mythical. In the real world, no one can love anyone more than himself or herself. No one can ever sacrifice anything for the sake of your happiness. So, no love in my life! End of the story!
"Yes. I still feel the same Natalie."
"I hope there will be someone who can change your mind for God's sake."
I don't know why Natalie was so desperate about changing my mind. I had a lot of reasons for not changing it. But, if there will be someone who would be like the lover i believe in, then I might change my mind. And, I think this lover doesn't exist on this planet.
The bright sunny morning greeted me the next day and in the hope of having a good day, I started getting ready for the office. Natalie had already left. So, I grabbed some milk and a toast for myself. I took the bus and reached office.
"Hey Good Morning"
"Hi Ashley, Good Morning"
"The weather is good. Isn't it?"
"Yes"
"Don't you like romantic weather?"
"Romantic?" Just the weather could be romantic; my inner voice exclaimed.
"No. I am not a romantic type of person"
"Oh! That's weird! Anyways, I have to go to work. Catch up with you later! Bye"
"Bye"
So, I had to send some mails to some of the important business associates. From that day onwards, I had to answer the phone calls as well on the behalf of Sarah. I was handed over a list having the names and I had to mail them the details of the next conference on the behalf of Mr. Owens. Owens? Is my boss's surname Owens? But Sarah is Williams. So, is she not my boss? Strange! I had never noticed that. And, while smiling mockingly at myself I said "Only I can do this". My organization is named W&O, which stands for Woods and Owens. It's a partnership firm. So, clearly Sarah is not my boss. I mean, she is just the immediate boss.
I drafted the mails and send them to each and every name listed on that paper. Meanwhile, the phone rang.
"Hello"
"Hello Sarah?"
A husky voice from the other side asked.
"No. It's Jessica Jones, her assistant. How may I help you?"
"Ask Sarah to come to my cabin immediately." He ordered.
As soon as I could ask his name, he hung up the phone. I was wondering what I would say to Sarah. Only then, she entered.
"Sarah, someone called for you but I didn't get the chance to ask the name." I said apologetically.
"Ok. What did he say?"
"He ordered you to report to him in his office immediately."
"Oh! It must be Damion."
She said the name and ran hurriedly like he will shoot her or something if she will not be there in a minute. I was wondering that this man, Damion, must be very influential. Anyways, I was back to my work. And, after a brief moment, Sarah came out with a guy who was suited up in the perfect attire flaunting his dapper look. He was looking astounding in his black slim-fit coat paired with fitted black trousers and a greyish-back coloured shirt. I couldn't take my eyes off for a while. The way he was talking, his gestures, his eyes, his face; everything was so captivating. I had never felt like this before, especially not at the first look. But he really had something.
Sarah was coming straight to the cabin after he took leave of her. She asked me to note down some important points, which I did, so that we can use them in our next presentation.
"So, hopefully everything is clear to you. You have to make a presentation soon."
"Yes, Sure"
"I am leaving for an urgent meeting and you take care of the things here." She ordered.
"Okay"
"Sarah! Can I ask you a question?"
"Yes"
"Who's that man you were talking to?"
"He is Damion, Damion Owens, our boss, your boss. Don't you know that?"
"Yes I know it." I said with a confident tone. However, I didn't.
So, that man was Mr. Damion Owens, my boss. Hmmm… I took a deep breath.
The day was finally over and I wrapped up my work and left the office. I was thinking about him all the way to home. It's like his picture was printed on my mind or something. But, why? For what reason? I asked these questions from myself but they were unanswerable. When I reached the apartment, Natalie was already there with her boyfriend. They were spending some quality time together. So, I offered them some privacy. I went straight to my room and changed my clothes. I wasn't feeling hungry and to divert my mind, I decided to listen to some of my favourite tracks. I plugged in the earphones and hit the last song that was on my playlist. I thought I will fall asleep, but to my surprise I was wide awake till 4 in the morning because every time I closed my eyes, I saw him. This is not happening. This is not happening. I kept telling myself. You can't fall for your boss? Come on! A man like him can never be single. He might have a wife or a girlfriend for sure. I convinced myself on this and tried to sleep, which I somehow managed to do after one more hour of struggle.
The next day, I woke up early and started getting ready for office. I thought of making something good for the breakfast. So, I went to the kitchen and searched for the ingredients required to make pan cakes. Natalie woke up by the noise that I was making in the kitchen.
"Hey! Good Morning. What are you doing up so early?" With her eyes half open, she inquired.
"I wasn't able to sleep properly so I woke up early and thought of making something good. I'm searching for the ingredients."
"Oh! What are you making?"
"Pan Cakes!"
"Hi girls! Good Morning." And, then I realized that Jake was still there.
"Hi Jake, Good Morning." I wished him with a slight smile.
"What's going on?"
"Jess is making pancakes"
"Sorry to wake you up." I really felt apologetic.
"No no it's ok. Don't be sorry. Please"
Jake hugged and kissed Natalie. It was nice to see Natalie and Jake together like this.
I was all set for making the pan cakes. Natalie poured some milk for me and juice for her and Jake. We had the breakfast and I headed towards office. On my way, I was thinking what I should do to keep myself distracted from his presence. First of all, I had to stop thinking about him.
After reaching office, I started my work and decided to fill my head with work and nothing else. Sarah was late and I had to settle down everything on her behalf. I drafted and sent the necessary mails. I organized everything according to the convenience of Sarah and started searching the internet for some relevant points for the next presentation. Just then, my mind diverted and out of nowhere, I started browsing about Damion. "He is a successful businessman at the age of 28. He owns partnership in the W&O firm and owes his success to his parents (as per an article). His partner, Mr. Woods, is a family friend and they have jointly made the events business successful within a very short span. Surprisingly, Mr. Damion Owens is unmarried and his relationship status is single." This strikes my head. Is it really possible for such a person to remain single? I highly doubt. Just then, Sarah came in and I hurriedly closed all the windows.
"Hi there!"
"Hi Sarah!"
"Any important calls for me?"
"No, not yet!"
"And, what were you doing?"
"I was searching out some useful points for our next presentation."
"Good. You have to make it asap now as the meeting is pre-poned. I will provide you all the major points to include in rough and the quotations will be discussed with Damion. So, leave that part." She explained.
"Ok. I will do it."
She started explaining me all the points to be included and I was jotting them down on my notepad. Suddenly, she saw Damion entering into the office and she went into his cabin leaving me to search more on the presentation. I immediately noticed that he was wearing a blue shirt and a pair of tight fitted trousers. The sight was fulfilling! I have never seen a man so perfect. It was impossible to notice him when he was around. I could not stop myself from thinking about him. I wondered if he would ever notice me. I guessed not!
He walked out of the office and my eyes ran along with him. Every time I saw him, I felt like something is stuck in my throat. And, I will not be able to speak properly. I wonder why other women around were not impressed by his admirable looks. There was something very strange about his appearance and his walk, which attracted me like a magnet towards him. I guess I will never understand the reason behind this. What is wrong with me?? Why am I experiencing such an emotional overflow? I threw such questions on myself but there were no answers to them. All I knew so far was that his charm attracted me... a lot and I could not stay away from it even after my tremendous efforts.
Sarah was back to me just to inform that she is leaving and I should take care of the things on her behalf. I guess she was leaving with Damion. She is his personal secretary and obviously she will stay with him. I got up from my seat to have something for lunch from the cafeteria. I met Ashley with a bunch of other people there and I was not expecting this at all. Ashley called me to sit with them and have lunch. I picked salad and juice from the counter and went straight towards Ashley and the group. They were already discussing something about a party. And, I was constantly thinking about Damion side-lining their non-interesting talks. Then suddenly, Ashley turned towards me and made me listen to them.
"Hey! You are coming to the party, right?"
"Party! What party?"
"We are not sure till now but we have heard that the company is going to organize a party for us and you have to come."
She was sounding quiet serious.
"I am not much of a party person." I informed her.
"Oh God! What are you? You are not romantic. You don't like to party. You don't talk much. You always work. Seriously! What are you??"
"I'm sorry. I am like this and I can't help it." I said it as politely as I could.
"But, you are making to the party and that's final."
"Let the news be official at first."
"Ok, but after that it will be a yes from you."
I just managed to smile at this.
We were all back to our respective work stations. Sarah was not here yet and I guessed that she would not be able make it as well. So, I prepared the presentation halfway and wrapped up my work for the day. As I was picking up my belongings and stepping out of the cabin, he was in front of me. And I was out of words. My throat wasn't with me anymore.
"Ms.?"
"Jess... Jessica Jones" I somehow managed to utter my name while clearing my throat.
"Where is Sarah?"
"I am afraid I have no idea." Only I know how much strength I had gathered to utter this small sentence in front of him.
"Fine!" And, he was gone.
My heart almost skipped a beat and this man had no idea about it. My head was almost spinning and I didn't know what just happened. I wanted to talk to him and he was gone. I obviously had no influence on him like he had on me. That's silly! I know I'm not that attractive. I don't even know how to dress up in an attractive way. That explained his unnoticeable behaviour towards me. Or maybe I was just overreacting. Keeping tons of thoughts in my mind, I was heading towards home. I didn't realize that I left the bus stop behind and walked a lot of blocks ahead. I thought of taking a taxi as my senses were out of control at that moment. I boarded a cab and I was thinking about it all the way. Why this man is so influential? Why I am not able to speak in front of him? Why he has such an effect on me when he doesn't even notice me. What is wrong with me? Or, what is wrong in me? I was caught up between these two questions.
I reached the apartment but the inner turmoil was not quiet yet. Natalie was home today before me. I didn't know what I should say to her. I felt like explaining this to her. On the other hand, I didn't want to talk.
"Hey Jess!"
"Hi"
"How are you?"
"Fine!"
"But you are not looking like. Is everything good?"
"I don't know. I don't feel like talking."
"C'mon! You know I am here for you. You can share with me any damn thing. Tell me. Is your boss bothering you?"
The very sentence was funny. It was ironical.
"Yeah! Quite a lot!"
"But! You said she is good. What happened? Anything work related?"
"Umm... I'm not really in a mood to talk."
"But something is bothering you a lot. It's on your face. How will you be able to work like this? Don't keep it to yourself. May be I have a solution for your problem. At least share."
I knew I needed to know what's going on with me but I didn't know how to put them in words. I had no idea what Natalie would think about it or would she be able to understand it or not. But then, who else could I share this with?
"What are you thinking? Listen Jess! Just say it casually like you say a lot of other things like a regular conversation okay."
"Okay. There is something that is bothering me a lot. And, I have no idea why is this happening to me. Or, what should I do to avoid this situation?"
"And, the situation is??"
"My boss"
"That lady?"
"No. She is my immediate boss. My actual boss is Mr. Damion Owens."
"Okay. So, how is he bothering you?"
"He is really attractive. I can't get him out of my mind." I said frustratingly.
She laughed really hard at this. And, I just stood there watching her face. I should not have considered speaking to her about this. This reaction was very predictable.
"Never mind"
"Jess! Jess! I am so sorry. I could not control my laughter after what I heard. People are attractive. You are a girl and he is a guy. It's normal to get attracted towards opposite sex. You are not gay. I don't get the real problem here? Can you please explain?"
I thought twice before explaining the matter to her. I really doubted whether she will understand or not.
"It's okay Natalie! The issue will be resolved soon."
"Wait wait! So, you are saying that you have fallen for your attractive boss. Am I right? You... who have her own theory regarding love, relationship and a true lover and who do not ever wanted to fall for anyone."
"Now you got it. That's the issue."
"How it all happened?"
"I have no idea. He is insanely attractive. I cannot take my eyes off. It's impossible to not notice him. He is perfect from every sense. His dressing, his walk, the way he talks, his gestures; everything is so inviting. I had never felt like this before and I didn't know how to overcome from this situation."
"Why? Why do you want to overcome? Even I had never imagined that you will fall for someone voluntarily. This man does have something. Don't let it go. Don't let this feeling go. Finally, you have found someone worthy enough to be in your life."
"But Natalie, he is my boss. The point is, even if I not let this feeling go what will I get out of it? He doesn't even care that I exist or not."
"Then make him realize."
"This isn't easy. I guess I should just stop thinking about him."
"I would still say give it a try."
"Okay. I am very tired. I am going to bed."
"Will you not eat anything?" She asked in a concerned tone.
"Not in a mood. Good night."
"Good night then."
Again I had to suffer from a sleepless night. I plugged in my headphones and hit the playlist. I slip into my comfy pyjamas and t-shirt and tried to sleep. But, my mind was still active and thinking about the incidence. The only question in my mind was, "will he ever notice me?" I didn't know when I fell asleep. I dreamt of him talking to me the way he was doing today, I was blushing and trying to touch his face with my hand. He bent over to kiss me and then suddenly I came into consciousness. It was 7 in the morning. I was very surprised by the dream. I asked myself if Natalie was right. Have I really fallen for my boss voluntarily? However, I had to ignore all these thoughts and get ready for work. While getting ready, I decided that I will completely ignore him. No matter how much it affects me, I will only concentrate on my work. His presence will not affect me anymore...