You know, in the sleepless nights like this night of october 26, 12:29am. It really does remind me of way back when in 2015-16-17. All years were in my prime of writing stories and fantasizing of being in highschool. I always imagined it would be a hell of an experience. But now that I have 3 years of experience in the field of being a highschooler, i just have to say corona really f'd up.i also hated 2015 16 17. They were all really bad years for my mental health and it was only until this year that I actually started to put myself back together again. It really is no joke that kids grow up fast, but i grew up quicker.i hate myself for that fact.i wish i can turn back time and relive it all the correct way. I wish I could come home from school on a Monday night and eat meatloaf with my mom and dad still married but instead I cook for myself because I just know how to do it because I learned from family and from myself. Am I complaining about mylife yes. It was never horrible and I have had a good life. I mean yes I'm still breathing. Am i going to sleep tonight i don't believe so but that's what happens when you have insomnia and take melatonin and still lay awake in the early morning. You know i never actually thought highschool was real. mainly because i knew i wasnt ready for that big of a jump. And all the movies ive watched and stories that have been told just sounded so unrealisticly normal. I wanted that to be me. But i got a pandemic instead. Know drunk drivers just stupid people texting and driving wich is just as bad. No one dieing and us or a sports team singing there name in remembrance. Actually the only unrealistic normalcy that ever happened was the rape awareness protest. That felt like arizona. When you think of arizona you think old and dusty. Because its true and also a poor state. Theres something about arizona that kind of just draws you in. oh dang its 12:46 am. Well till we meet again school computer i'm going to try and sleep again.