Economics is basically common sense. It is the study of the marketplace and how it functions. Taking into account the selfishness of people and their desire for the most profits and least losses. Thus, before I knew it, the lesson was over, and I hadn't learnt anything new.
Though I say that, it's not like I'm particularly good at economics. I did well on the first test since coming to Junior College but have been painfully average after that one test. I probably just got lucky back then. Either that or I was the only one who cared enough to study for the first economics test. That would be a more logical conclusion. After all, that test was just a diagnostic test that carried a negligible percentage of our overall grade for the year.
Economics is a weird subject. It's so easy to understand, but I'm horrible at phrasing my answers, so I never end up doing very well. Though putting it that way, it just means I don't fully grasp the subject. I've simply been content with my understanding of it so far because it's satisfactory enough for me to accept. Clearly, not satisfactory enough for my teachers to give me a good grade.
The only way for me to improve is to continue to write essays and answer questions. Listening to the teacher's lectures won't change much. Especially since I've read the notes countless times already. The notes that our teacher uses as a basis for her lessons. The notes that our teacher never deviates from. The notes, that our teacher practically reads out to transform words on the paper into vibrations in the air. Ah, the vibrations in the air truly take the form of that which is called a lecture.
The lectures are always so enlightening.
"Hey, since there's still a bunch of time before it's time for our sports club activities, why don't we go out of school for lunch?"
"Sounds like I good idea! I'm in the mood for some Nacs!"
"You're always in the mood for Nacs!"
"It's fine, isn't it? I mean we've all got something to eat there, and there's free wifi. That's the most important thing isn't it?"
My classmates were excitedly packing up their things and talking about their after-school plans. Ah, must be nice. If I had friends like that... No. If I did, I would not be able to finish as much anime or get as much studying done.
That's not good! I must not be tempted into the life of normies! I will study hard in school so I can treat myself to some anime when I get back home!
I head to the S&D stall in the canteen to request that they fill my flask with some hot tea. I pay up 80 cents and proceed to the library for my afternoon study session by myself.
I wonder whether I'll meet Seria again? Perhaps I'll see her with Celeste in the library. Wait, what am I thinking? That wouldn't happen, they are the type to go straight home after school. None of them is in any clubs after all. Few people stay back in the school library after-school to study when they don't even have any club activities in the evening.
I scanned the library on my way to my favourite spot in the library, and as expected, Celeste and company were nowhere to be seen.
Just as well. I can focus on studying better when there is no one I know around. I take out my biology notes and begin revising.
Learning about life to kill time.
How ironic.
Before I knew it, the announcement informing the students in the library to start packing up and leave was made. I silently packed up my things and head off home.
Today has been a weird day. Thoughts filled my mind as though there'd be no tomorrow. On normal days, I'm just in a daze and live life without thinking about much. The days pass on by without me even realising it. Perhaps I had always taken things for granted. Or maybe I never held anything too close to me because I knew that time would march forward even if I stay at a standstill.
As time goes on, I remain unchanged. The people and environment around me may change, but time fails to change me. I kill time on a daily basis doing the things I need to do while still doing the things that I want to do. Not paying attention to anything out of my control. Focused entirely on who I am as a person. Self-conscious and aware of myself.
I want the reality of who I am to be as genuine as possible. I don't want to be like everything else that was once genuine. I hate how what is genuine erodes over time. Everything begins to lose meaning and reality seems to exist just to be perceived differently by different people. To be perceived differently by the same people. Time goes on and changes even reality.
However, I do not let time kill who I am.
Or at least, that is what I would like to believe.