There are a lot of us out there. Mom's of children we didn't birth. We work hard every day to make sure the kids have the best life possible. We signed up for this when we fell in love with a man. A man that had a past. Everyone has a past, right? It's the decisions we made in the past that creates our everyday life.
We hold our tongue and cry alone. We will never be their birth mother. But that's okay. Because we still give them the love and care and lessons that they need to become good people. I just hope they notice that even just a little when they grow up and are out on their own.
Seeing Disney movies as a kid, Step mom's are always the evil character in the movies. When I found out he had kids and that I'd be in the position of a step mom I was so scared. I never wanted to be evil and I could not see myself becoming like those characters.
If the birth mothers are alive and still around, that's a whole other struggle for the rest of your life as well. The kids always come home and compare you and your house and your rule to their moms. If the moms are mentally unstable ( crazy.....) then that's even harder. They hate you and feel like you stole their life and home and family. They want you and the kids father to suffer for as long as she can make that happen. She will break doors, turn the kids against you and their father, threaten to kill people. That female needs help. Don't try to be her friend. Don't try to help her. I've tried. It does not work at all. Just be civil and smart for the kids sake.
If you have a kid of your own with their father, that's a whole other battle as well. You have to make sure they know they are just as loved as your birth child. You have to balance being a step mom and a mom. I fear that when my son gets older, He will wonder why they get 2 holidays and 2 birthdays and he only gets one.
Being a step parent is one of the hardest jobs ever. You are not alone in this. You are doing an amazing job. You are good enough. Don't give up.