The only two people here who were blameless were Paula and herself and they were the ones who were going to be hurt because she knew right now that Neil would never stick to his fiancée. She also knew that it would hurt badly to see Kip with Annette tonight, especially as she knew what would happen when they left the hotel after dinner.
He brought Annette, not that Natalie had expected anything else. It was almost a gesture; of defiance in her that made her wear the black and gold she had worn when she had first seen him. She had thought a long time about what to wear and the sight of the outfit she had arrived in had clinched it, some perverse longing to go back in time. It was only when Kip's eyes narrowed over her that she remembered this was the outfit she had been wearing when she had first gone to his house, when he had undressed her and put her to bed, the first time she had felt his hands on her skin,
'You look beautiful,' Neil murmured in her ear, and she felt herself stiffen with the flare of impending trouble that now seemed to hang around her almost permanently;
Ray also noticed the small, familiar gesture and annoyance rose at once. He moved protectively towards Paula and Natalie felt swamped by events that had caught up with her without any move on her part to precipitate them. She felt like someone plunging headlong into a crisis, and her normal character surfaced, She would have liked to be cool, aloof, but this was a dinner for an important man, a man who watched everything and, everybody with keen all-seeing eyes.
She glittered, a flow of nervous energy making her brilliantly beautiful. She seemed to be talking endlessly, keeping everyone laughing, her long green eyes flashing with enthusiasm that nobody could see was forced. Always slender, she had lost weight in Africa and as the evening wore on it seemed that she would either have to stop, slow down or break into pieces.
She was holding the attention of all the men without even trying, everything as she had not in any way intended, and Annette's eyes took on a tendency to turn to ice as each movement in the conversation seemed to bring things back to Natalie.
Kip brought things to a sudden halt.
'How would you all like to end the evening at the club?' he suddenly asked.
'There's a club here?' Neil looked just a little scathing. He had drunk too much and was almost on a high to match Natalie's although she had drunk hardly anything at all.
'Wherever Europeans are, they set up a club,' Kip informed him drily. 'Ours is for swimming, golf and a variety of social activities. Tonight there's a dance.'
'Oh, dear! You mean we dragged you away from it? You would have been there now if you hadn't been attending this business dinner?' Natalie asked, smiling brilliantly, her voice almost brittle with exhaustion.
'Probably.' Kip looked at her with a great deal of irony. 'We don't seem to have discussed much business, but it's been very entertaining.
'Natalie's a jewel,' Neil declared, leaning back complacently, his remarks bringing puzzled anxiety to Paula's face, a flush of embarrassment to Natalie's.
'If we're going, I'll freshen up,' Natalie said quickly, animation dying from her face.
The men stood and so did Paula, moving with Natalie to the powder-room with an air of desperation about her that made Natalie wince. She didn't have to wait long.
'Natalie?' There were tears in her eyes as she spoke and Natalie's heart sank like a stone. It was no use pretending she didn't understand.
'Drink talks loudly,' she said soothingly, trying her best to smile. 'I don't think Neil's quite used to it.'
'He wasn't drunk earlier. I know he used to go out with you. He's still in love with you, isn't he?'
'He's not and he never was.' Natalie turned to Paula firmly. 'At the moment he's being childish for some reason I can't fathom. But you can forget about anything between Neil and me. There never was anything and there never will be. I admire his work, nothing more.'
'Then you're not in love with him?' Paula's eyes met Natalie's in the mirror as Natalie combed her long, black hair, and she didn't pause for thought.
'I'm not and I never was.' How clear it seemed now. Neil meant nothing to her at all except that at the moment he was a distinct source of irritation. She had never loved him; how could she have thought it? All she could see was Kip—Kip with the burning dark eyes. Kip with his power and grace. The comb almost fell from her hand. She loved him, that was why she flared with heat each time he touched her. He did well to call her a child. The knowledge stunned her.