Aah making promises is such an easy task, but to stick with that is very tough. I promised my parents unconditionally. But why I did that? What to do now?
" NOT THE OLD ME ANYMORE". What should I have to change? Oh my god! Then I realised we should never and ever promise anyone in emotional situations.
I have many unanswered questions on my mind.
I have to get rid off Jennifer's memories first.
Yes, I loved her, but I have the only choice left with me is forgetting her and move on through life. It's not easy, but I have too. I can't share it with my parents, can't cry before my friends. For the first time, I felt alone, and I wish I could have a sibling. Everyone thinks that being a single child gets more privileges and more love from parents. Yes, of course, it is one hundred per cent correct statement. But only the individual child can feel the void in their home. I cried all the nights and pretended to be happy before my parents. I didn't meet my classmates, friends who know about my feelings for Jennifer. I spend the whole vacation of seven days alone. I got habituated to that pain and being alone. Tomorrow, college reopens, and now I'm ready to go to bed, dad came to me asked, Are you ok nana? I'm bewildered, what daddy what happened to me, everything is ok with me. Why are you asking me this question? Dad turned around to move, saying, Nothing nana, go to bed. I held his hand, asked what happened daddy? He smiled. He sat on the couch along with me; I know that I'm forcing you in where you have no interest.
At first, I have little fear when you started going to college, but later I found you going to college without a single leave and I found you very happy. And I don't know what happened to you in these holidays you were immensely calm moody showing no interest in outings meetings. I saw you mostly staying in your room alone your mom got scared with your behaviour, and she is very depressed thinking that we have made a wrong decision with your career. I stopped his fluency and said everything is ok Daddy; all my friends went to their relative's houses and I'm alone here so, I have nothing to do by going out, so it made spent my holidays in my room alone. Don't worry, dad, I don't like this college, but I can manage. And I smiled. Dad stood up, rubbed my head with his warm hand saying goodnight and turned off the light in my room. I cried all night but today, not in memories of Jennifer.
To be continued