Although Lily did tell Zero 'the beach', in truth, she didn't really care where they went. She just wanted to spend more time with Zero. The beach was the first thing that came to her mind that would not be full of people.
As they rode on, Lily's nerves got calmer. Just holding him like this made her feel better. She snuggled closer to him, wanting to feel his body warmth even more, and wished she didn't have to wear a helmet.
Zero, on the other hand, was finding it slightly difficult to concentrate on riding the bike.
His mind was in a bit of a mess, really. Once the adrenalin from the rush of anger died, the earlier events played about in his head.
Specifically …
The part where he had massaged Lily's chest.
He had been so engrossed in wanting to help her that it did not occur to him at all what he was doing other than massaging a bruised part of the body.
Now, however ...
His face flushed beet red when he remembered the feel of it, which was much softer than the ones being pressed against his back right now.
Zero gulped and he felt a rather unfamiliar heat pooling down below.
How could he have such thoughts and reactions over Lily?!
This was the first time he is experiencing this and it caused him to panic a little bit.
All his life, his emotions were kept under wraps. It wasn't that he couldn't feel happy, or sad, or angry (of course, anger was the prime one) - but rather, it took a lot for something to truly affect him.
He just took whatever came his way as it was.
He wasn't emotional, to the point that he was often being told that he was a bit of a robot.
It didn't bother him, really.
It wasn't as if he was emotionless.
His brotherhood with the Diamond Team, for example. He was close to them and they, to him. His loyalty to Sir, his care for Lianne … and then, now, Lily.
But this was the first time that he was starting to see Lily … as a woman.
It's not that he never realised she was a woman but heck!
His Lily was a woman …
Zero's grip on the handlebars got tighter.
His?
Since when did he start thinking like that?
Damn.
He then started remembering all the teasing Lianne did which he brushed aside. He never considered nor seen Lily in that light, so he took her constant ribbing as just harmless fun to see his reaction.
To get some sort of response from him.
She seemed to like doing that to him.
But …
Why did he never realise that his reaction to her teasing wasn't indifference but most of the time, he felt .. shy?
Did he blush?
Was it because subconsciously, he had already viewed Lily as someone other than a sister?
Despite the fact that he was thinking hard, his driving wasn't reckless. Zero didn't speed, letting the bike cruise at a comfortable speed as his mind continued analysing things.
The more he thought of it, the more he started getting some sort of enlightenment.
If he viewed Lily as a sister like how he regarded Lianne, then why is his reaction completely different between them? Sure, he cared and was protective over both of them but he couldn't deny anymore that there was a subtle difference in feelings.
He could never. EVER. think of Lianne in any way other than a sister. Just the thought of it being something else or seeing her in a sexual way sent shivers down his spine and he got disgusted with himself for even that fleeting thought.
When it came to Lily, however, it just made his chest heave a bit and his pants tight.
This was bad.
This was very bad.
Now, Zero didn't know how to face Lily.
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When they reached the beach, Lily got off and headed towards it. Zero did not follow her immediately, his eyes upon her solitary figure as she walked away.
He took several deep breaths and adjusted his 'parking', hoping she wouldn't notice anything.
Damn, this was awkward.
Lily had just gone through a rather harrowing experience and all he had wanted to do was comfort her. The last thing she would need is to suddenly have a friend have such … thoughts …
Zero shook his head.
She had not scolded him, or shied away from him when he had been rendering the first aid. That could only mean one thing.
She had absolutely no feelings for him in that manner.
Damn it.
Just when he finally started feeling something for someone, that someone had no feelings for him. He had tons of women (okay, and some brave men) trying their luck with him but he had not even been interested in the slightest.
He suddenly found his chest hurt.
Zero took several more deep breaths.
This must be karma, he thought. For all those people he had rejected quite coldly.
He placed his helmet on the bike with a sigh and followed Lily, giving her space.
A person who had gone through a traumatic event will have their own way of handling it. Some would need peace and quiet. Some would want to rant and vent it out. Whichever way it was, Zero only wanted to be the one beside her and give her whatever she needed.
That was why he allowed her to beat up the one who had harassed her.
Then, he placed himself entirely at her disposal so that she can do whatever she wanted, and he would be there to support her.
Right now, he wasn't sure if she wanted him to be beside her or not, so he walked at a respectable distance behind her. Not too close that he would invade her personal space yet not too far that she would not know he was not there.
Zero found himself looking at Lily in a different manner now, after realising he had some feelings for her.
Slowly, the pieces were falling together and he wondered.
Just when did it start?
Worse of all, why did this horrible event have to be the thing that finally made the veil over his eyes lift?
He wished he could have taken all the bad things that had happened to her and throw it away. He would be happier not knowing until it was too late - that is, when she got married or something.
Zero sighed again.
Caring and loving someone meant one would want that person to be happy. The last thing he wanted to do was make her uncomfortable.
All he could do now, was just be the best friend and support for her, and let his growing feelings remain hidden.