Lianne had to take several deep breaths to steady herself and make sure that her voice would not sound weird.
"Two main things about me you need to know," Lianne said softly, "First, I'm a high-functioning Aspergers. Basically, it just means that my brain is wired slightly differently. My condition is not that severe, so that is why I'm considered 'high-functioning'."
Kai was surprised, but he listened intently.
He did not know what this Aspergers thing was, but he will find out. Brain wired differently? What does that mean?
"I'm sure you're going to go and find out more about it, but essentially, I have difficulties in social interaction and nonverbal communication. I just tell people I'm anti-social but in reality, it's more than that."
Lianne looked at Kai, tilting her head a bit, "In your world, social activities are a must and a huge thing. I won't be able to join you for such things though I will try, if need to. However, you can't force or try to persuade me when I say I can't."
"It doesn't matter," Kai said, "Those social events are nothing. I don't need a date, and if they talk about it, so what."
Lianne smiled a bit at that.
Yes, he says so now but will it be so when push comes to shove? She didn't know.
"I also have mild depression and am on medication for that," Lianne revealed, "So far, the medicine is working but there are times when I just can't seem to get up from the bed. Those episodes are less, but it's not completely gone."
Kai looked at her worriedly.
"What causes it? Stress? Pressure? I'll take care of anything around you so that you won't be stressed out. You don't have to worry about a thing. I'll take care of you even if you get an attack," Kai said seriously.
"I don't know what causes it. Yes, stress would be one of it, I guess, but many things stresses me out. Which is why I prefer to just isolate myself, and be by myself. I don't have to please anyone, and I don't have to worry about whether what I'm doing is right or …" Lianne began. Once she started, she found she couldn't stop and these were things that she hadn't even told her own mother - or Zero.
She didn't want to burden anyone, and she tends to overthink. Living by herself was great even though it did tend to get lonely. But she was fine, as long as she had her drawings and things to occupy her time.
Now, however, upon knowing Kai … she wanted to take that hand that he offered. The heart that he had given to her but she was scared.
So, so scared.
She knew, if she took that step, she would fall hard for him.
If it didn't work out, how would she handle it?
Could she handle it?
She didn't think so.
She didn't want to know.
That's what she kept telling herself during the three months Kai was looking for her. He was trouble. He may hurt her. It's better for him not to be with her, for she was just so problematic.
But her heart was not listening to her.
The more she saw how determined he was, the more she was wavering.
And the more scared she was.
So now, she decided to bare it all out.
"Look," Kai said, taking her face in his hands as he looked at her, "Whatever you're going through, we will go through it together. As long as you are by my side, I will be the pillar that you need. The support. Let my love for you keep you up."
"I'm a jealous person," Lianne said.
"So am I," Kai replied, "So we're even."
"I'm very possessive as well," Lianne told him, "You're surrounded by gorgeous women and I don't care about that but if you step out of line …"
"I won't," Kai said, holding her hands again.
"Kyle and Zero will always be a part of my life," Lianne said, "Can you accept that? You said that you're a jealous person, but know that I will never stop seeing them."
"As long as I know that you love me, I am fine," Kai said, "Other guys though …"
"But I don't know if I can love you," Lianne said, "Then what?"
"I'll just work harder at getting your heart then," Kai replied, "You like me, I love you. It's just a matter of time."
Lianne couldn't help but laugh a bit at that, "So confident?"
Kai looked at her gently, and stroked her cheek again. He just couldn't get enough of touching her. She was just so soft and sweet.
"No, not at all," he confessed, "I can only hope. I say it to give myself hope. I love you, but I won't force you to love me. You liking me and letting me be by your side is enough."
"I am a problematic person," Lianne said.
Kai smiled, "I like problems. I will find ways to solve them."
Lianne sighed, looking down at their hands again.
"Lianne," Kai said softly, "I can't explain why I feel the way I do about you. I just know that I do. No matter what you do, or what happens, that will never change. In fact, I love you more now than before."
Lianne felt her eyes tearing up. Then she looked at him and confessed, "I'm scared."
Kai blinked.
Lianne took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "I like order. I like stability. You are the opposite of all of that."
Kai gulped.
Now he was scared.
Scared of what she was going to say next. Despite him telling her that he accepts her, is she still not going to try?
Does she not believe him?
He can only prove it with his actions, but if she doesn't let him, how can he?
What can he do?
"Will you promise to take care of me and love me, no matter what?" Lianne asked boldly.
Kai smiled widely and replied, "So long as you let me. I accept all your conditions: accepting you as you are, never forcing you nor forbidding you to do anything, and loving you till I breathe my last breath."
Lianne pouted, "I didn't say all that."
Kai smiled, gripping her hands fiercely, "It all boils down to the same thing. Also, if you push me away, I will wait patiently by your side until you take me back again."
Lianne bit her inner cheeks.
Such suave words.
No wonder he could charm all those women.
But she knew, he was serious and meant each and every word to her.
Her mind was whirling, her heart was pumping, and she made her decision. For better or for worse, she will stick with it.
"Okay," Lianne said softly, deciding to trust him. One cannot predict the future, but one can try to place faith in what is in front of you.
"Okay?" Kai repeated, not daring to believe what she was saying, "Really?"
Lianne smiled at him, her first full-blown smile. Just for him.
"Yes, really. I will be your girlfriend," she replied while thinking … oh gosh, that line sounds so cheesy.
Kai was so ecstatic that he felt he heard fireworks all over again, this time, bursting inside his heart. Seeing her sweet face, and her gentle smile, Kai couldn't help but lean closer. Lianne saw his gorgeous face getting closer and saw his eyes rest on her lips.
She gulped inwardly but didn't move back.
Was she going to get her first kiss?!
Lianne closed her eyes.