I awoke from a fitful sleep. Drenched in sweat, heart racing, and my whole body shaking. My nightmare was different, worse. I sat frightened trying to gather my wits. I reached over and grabbed my phone, groggily tapping to wake the screen up. Damn only 5 a.m.
Still in a daze I tossed the phone to the side and slid back down into the sleeping bag. Wishing for sleep but only having my mind racing. It's as if reading the files repeatedly are bringing some memories back to the surface. What was the dream showing me?
I yawn and rub my eyes. Praying to fall back asleep quickly. As my eyelids get droopy suddenly my eye snap open and in a quick second I'm sitting upright again. Grandpa James was his name, well all I could remember. My father's name....damn I wish I could remember it! He's not mentioned anywhere in the files that I can remember. The files don't even mention whether or not my parents were married. Where is he at?
* * * * * * * * * * *
"Daddy! where are you?" a small girl's voice frantically calls.
"It's ok little ass kicker, right here." A soothing voice answers.
"Bad dream, really bad." the small voice cries.
"Remember you are in control of those who com into your dreams." He replies.
"Ah another one sweetie?" A cooing woman's voice enters.
"Mommy, I ran and ran, but went nowhere." The small girl growled.
"Well remember what daddy says, you control it. You decide where the dream takes you." She cooed again.
"That's right my little ass kicker, We love you. Now get back to sleep." The male voice soothes.
"Night Night" the small voice yawned.
As the parents walked out of the bedroom shut off the light and silently shut the bedroom door she heard voices.
"Lincoln, you are the best mate I could dream of." The woman swoons.
"Carmen, I'm the only mate. But, yeah I know what you mean." Lincoln smiles.
* * * * * * * * * *
I awake with a startling revelation and a few more questions. I snap upright, Lincoln. Lincoln is my dad's name. I knew my dreams were trying to tell me something. I just wish I knew where to start looking. He used to call me his "little ass kicker"? That's a bit confusing, and she called him mate? What the hell does that mean? I rub my temples. This is going to give me one hell of a headache. I reach into my pack and grab the excedrin. I slide around onto my knees to reach my cooler with my mocha frappe. I take 2 pills and wash them down. I sit there for a moment before grabbing my phone and looking at the time, 8 A.M. Well at least I got a few more hours. Time to start the day.
I'm kind of short, only 5'2''. And I'm far from being one of those starving model types. But I'm comfortable with who I am and I'm not looking to be impressing anyone. I have a couple rolls, but a girl with a little extra meat is sexy in my book, at least that's what my last girlfriend and at least one ex boyfriend told me repeatedly. That's right I like both sides. So what? If that's a problem for anyone, it's just that. Their problem. My hair is dark brown/black over blood red (from a box of course) and has a touch of natural wave. My face is a bit round with big grey eyes that hide behind long lashes. I have several piercings, some are seen others I leave to the imagination. I'm a tattoo addict. So many tattoos, I'm always looking for the next one.
I again reach into my pack and fish out a pair of ripped jeans, bra (you know your favorite one that gives extra curves in all the right places), boy short lace undies, lacey cami, and blue plaid shirt. Dressing in a tent is a bit of an acrobatic routine when you're unable to stand. Over the years I have mastered this, with very few hiccups. You lay on your back and start with the bottom half. Pulling the sweats and socks from the night before off, then reach over grab the undies and slide them on. Grabbing the jeans and shimmying them on careful not to catch toes in the rips, then lifting the butt to get them up the waist to button and zip. Then sitting on your knees you pull the hoodie off and fight with the bra to get it hooked and fitted properly. After that it's easy to slip the cami over your head and pull the plaid button up shirt on.
After slipping on socks and my black harley boots, I unzip my tent and stand out in the cool fall air. It's early August. It'll be humid later but I do love the cool mornings. I look over to my left and carefully uncover my 1999 Harley Davidson Springer. Luna is a beauty. She glistens in the early morning light. She's black with blue and purple flecks that dance in the light. She's definitely a bike for taller riders but she's mine and I couldn't imagine and other bike. I won her hustling pool at a dive bar in Maine years ago.
I try to comb my hair with my fingers and catch a knot....damn. I turn to reach into my trusty pack and grab my detangling comb and spray. Here goes the worst part of my hair. I pump several spritzes into my hair and work it through, from root to tip. Standing in front of my tent I slowly start working the comb through, listening to the serene sounds of nature. I hear a stream softly talking maybe a mile or less from me. I can also hear some birds in the distance singing. This is where I find myself most at peace. In the country away from people. Luckily, Greg, the bar owner said I could camp on his land. Around here there aren't many campsites close to town. He also offered me a camper but I prefer my tent.
Greg is an older gentleman and sweet, not to mention probably the most dirty minded flirt I've met in awhile. Didn't know me from anything but didn't think twice when I applied for a job. His bar is the busiest one I've seen in town. So tips on the weekends are the best, especially near holidays. I do long shifts on Fridays and Saturdays, Noon to 1 A.M. There's supposed to be a car show this weekend so should be a good night at work. People travel for hours to come to these shows. Have to admit I've seen some beautiful cars, trucks, and motorcycles. And with all the people in town maybe I'll have some luck in finding some answers.
I get my hair smoothed, and put into a single side braid, brown/black and red blend the entire length of the braid. I grab my phone and shoulder bag. I straddle Luna and start her up with a thundering roar. Oh how I love that sound. I slowing giver her some gas and roll out of my makeshift campsite. I get on the dirt lane and go full throttle heading toward the highway. I come to a stop at the top of the lane. I see the rare state patrolman that comes through town from time to time, followed my one of the neighbors. I slowly turn right onto the highway and enjoy the feel of power I hold between my legs. Luna roars and vibrates below me. Not going to lie, a Harley is an extremely expensive gas powered vibrator of sorts.
I follow the truck ahead of me. Enjoying the scenery as I flow with the curves of the highway. Passing barns and farm equipment. I start to see the edge of town, Good ole Valentine, population: 2,737 people. At least that's what the sign says, as everyone in town can tell you most of it lays out in the country. As you see we are in cattle ranch country. And beautiful country at that.
We are in the middle of the Sandhills. Home of the Sandhills Stingrays summer swim team. Home of Valentine Benny the Badger. Imagine a badger standing upright with his chest puffed out, wearing a red and white striped turtle neck with a big V in the center of his chest. I know sounds comical right? But I'm being serious, but that's what you get from a small town. All in all a great small town in the middle of nowhere. Nearest bigger city is about 3 1/2 hours away.
Not sure why my mom settled here, but I'm not leaving until I get some answers. I see the largest grocery store coming up. Can't decide if I should stop and grab something from their deli or fruit, or go hit one of the few fast food options at 9 A.M. I've fallen in love with their breakfast shop on Main. Great coffee and breakfast burritos. At the thought of the burrito I start to salivate. Donut shop it is. I follow Highway 20 going past the grocers, motels, small restaurants, Pizza Hut, gas stations, and other businesses. I come to a stop at the light behind several other vehicles, waiting for the damn light to change.
Out of the corner of my eye I see the gas station busy as usual. Some people coming out with drinks and food, while others are fueling up. Once the light turns green I finally managed to turn right and ride down Main Street. Passing the drive in, car wash, and few homes. Finding several vehicles zooming faster than necessary. Once I hit the main part of Main Street, I start to look for a parking spot. I manage to find one across the street from the Donut Shop. I park and dismount my Harley. I take off my helmet. On the sidewalk I see Xandra, a girl I've become quite good friends with, looking cute as hell.
She's 5'7'' athletic, Her A Symmetrical cut hombre hair (black into blue/grey) floating with the slight breeze. She's got intense green eyes. I've got a bit of a crush on her but I haven't told her that. Last thing I want to do is push the only friend I feel really close to away. She's wearing jeans crop top and boots. Like I said, cute as hell.
"Hey girl, see you're hitting your favorite morning spot." Xandra grins.
"Yeah I had a Homer Simpson drool thought about the burritos. I love this place." I admitted.
"Mind if I join you? Haven't talked to you in a couple days girl." she giggles.
"Would love the company." I reply. Secretly I admit to myself I purposely looked for an empty spot in front of her apartment so I could possibly see her.
I was working the night she came in and looked like an entire bottle of jack couldn't cure her problems. I played the ear that listens while she poured her soul out. She had a shitty day at work, boss thinks he's god's gift to women, and coworkers that think they know everything. Of course that rubs anyone the wrong way and leads to a need for several drinks. We look both ways watching for traffic before crossing. We make small talk about nothing until we reach the other side of the street. We both reach for the door at the same time. Our hands caress and I blush. Can't give myself away. Have to keep all my secrets.
"Oops. Sorry." I blush.
"It's no problem." Xandra smiled.
I open the door to allow her to walk in first. We order and go find a booth. We chat about how work has been and how my search is going. I even told her about my epiphany I had this morning. After our food arrives we drink our coffee and eat our food. I really enjoy her company. I can tell her almost everything. Maybe one day once I understand it all myself I will tell her it all.
"Do you work tonight?" She asks sheepishly.
"Of course. Noon to Close." I say with almost too much enthusiasm.
She almost looks disappointed. I smile inside, have to admit I enjoy the thought that she wanted to spend more time with me.
"What's up?" I ask reaching over without thinking brushing a strand of hair out of her face. I quickly pull my hand back.
"Well I thought maybe we could get together and go to the car show later" she blushed.
Damn. I would love to go with her but I really need to talk to the patrons while I'm working. They're more open to chatting when I'm their bartender instead of fellow patron. I silently sigh.
"Greg did say he may not need me tonight, but I won't know until he calls me." I say a bit hopeful that he calls and says enjoy the car show.
My phone starts vibrating, I happen to notice that it's just who I wanted to call.
"Well speak of the devil." I chuckle before answering. "Hey Greg, what's up?"
On the other end Greg asks if I would be upset if I worked noon to 5 P.M. instead of close.
"Oh actually that would be perfect!" I answer excitedly. "I'll see you at noon. Later"
"You're still working but it's perfect?" she quizzically looks at me.
"Yes, but I'll be off at 5 so we could hit the car show and maybe dinner after?" I beam.
"Girl you're on, it's a date!" Xandra squeals, before jumping up leaning over giving me a hug and heading toward the door. "Later Love!"
I sat there speechless. Did she say a date? As in an actual date? I was praying it was. It would be the best day of my life if it meant she felt the same about me. It was almost 10 and I had just a couple hours to kill before my shift started. I needed a shower now that I thought about it. So I would hit the truck stop after I stopped at ALCO for extra shower supplies. Wanted to look irresistible tonight. With that I got up from the booth, thanked the ladies behind the counter and walked out the door.