"Princess you have to go! Go!"
Hundreds of footsteps echoed in the wrecked hallway, chasing and chasing relentlessly.
"Zhou Mama!"[1]
Flurry of expensive silken clothes, now ripped apart and ragged.
"Princess don't look back! Keep going!"
Tear streaming down beautiful, plump, white cheeks as if they were two unending rivers.
"She ran to the mountains! After her! Don't let a single one escape!"
How did it come to this?
Princess Baili ran as fast as her dainty little feet could take her. Her breath came out in short heavy pants and her lungs felt like it had given. Still her body refused to stop.
She refused to stop.
She was the youngest and only daughter of a small kingdom at the shore of this vast continent. Her family enjoyed the protection of the biggest kingdom, Feng Kingdom, as long as they kept paying the yearly tribute.
It was normal. It was fine.
Until it wasn't.
"There she is! Get her!"
Her family wasn't the most benevolent ruler. They pushed and pushed, raising the tax higher everytime, making the people cry and suffer. All for what? Wealth.
Imperial Father and Eldest Brother were especially the worst. For their luxuries, they exploited their subjects and the affluent land grew gaunt in a blink of an eye.
Of course, the subjects were outraged. However, Imperial Father and Eldest Brother persecuted those who complained as if was the most natural thing, ruling through fear.
"She went this way! Come on! Don't let her get away!"
Princess Baili, born and blessed with the name Xuan Fanhua, looked upon the cliff before her in despair.
She turned around, watching with vacant eyes as the roaring red beast of fire devoured the remnant of her once beautiful palace. The sound of screaming--joyful celebrations actually, filled the air.
The citizen was dancing upon the ashes of her home--no, it was a mere house, a mere property build with the tears and sweat of those same citizen.
"You have nowhere else to go, Princess."
Those title was spat out full of hate. Those soldiers who pledged their loyalty stared at her with burning hatred in their eyes.
Watching Xuan Fanhua who stayed silent, the soldiers advanced.
"Halt!"
That authorative voice, oh so familiar in her ears, once sweet and cajoling, now sliced her heart into pieces. Emerging from in between them, a man with distinctly different armor stepped out. This man was an important figure of this rebel--no, revolutionary army.
"You all have done well, leave this to me," he commanded with a grim smile, blood splatter decorating his armor.
"But, sir-!"
"Stand down!"
His name was Feng Yuntian, the second son of Duke Feng. He was three years older than her and was her fiancé. Formerly.
"Sir, you shouldn't have had to play the role of a dog!" one of the soldiers said in indignation.
"Don't say that. There was no one else with the right age who were willing," he gently consoled the fuming soldiers. "Leave us alone."
Ah, this was it. She was alone.
Feng Yuntian, cloud and sky, high ambition. How fitting.
For those ambition, lies burried his real self away and showed only the part she would like. His silly smiles and jokes, his love of cats, his admiration towards her poetry.
Being her lover.
Lies.
All lies.
He turned around to face Xuan Fanhua, pity shining in his eyes. "...my lady," he called softly, just like before, just like when times was peaceful--
Just like his lies.
She snorted inelegantly, feet nimbly moving backwards to avoid his hand, avoid him, avoid his lies.
"Fanfan," he called again with the pet name she so loved.
"Oh? What is it, My Lord? " she spat the word with equal disgust as the soldier before, even as she cried and mourn for her broken heart inwardly.
Feng Yuntian grimaced, either at her tone or her attitude.
She didn't care, no longer care, don't want ro care!
"Are you here to mock this foolish, sheltered princess who ruined herself from getting easily seduced by you? Are you here to end things now?"
"Fanfan."
"What else do you want from this miserable woman? Haven't you taken everything?"
"Fanfan, please."
"Imperial Father's corruption? Apologies, I didn't know about it. I'm sorry you had to waste two years of your precious time. How pitiful, having to play along to a spoiled, sheltered woman's delusion, playing the part of a lover."
"Fanfan!"
A step forward for him, a step backward for her.
She watched in silence as he gritted his teeth and wrangled back his emotion.
"Fanfan, you knew nothing. You did nothing wrong. You were just living in the palace. That's all you have to say. I'll calm the people."
"Ha!"
It was a sharp, mocking laugh. Apparently, it was really out of character for her to produce such sound that he snapped his gaze at her in surprise.
Her lips curled in disgust--for herself, her ignorance, her stupidity.
"I know Imperial Father kept raising the tax. I know Mother Empress bought lots of expensive jewelries from neighboring countries. I know Eldest Brother liked to buy expensive wines from all around the world."
With each sentence, Feng Yuntian face became more and more gloomy.
Another step backward.
"I know, yet I ignored it. Without thinking about it, I led an extravagant life for eighteen years. Tell me, have I not sinned enough?"
As rulers, as human beings, as men or women, as adults, her family was the worst. But therein lay problem.
They were her family.
As a father, as a mother, as her elder siblings. They were neither devils nor mongrels. They were just normal human.
She had the responsibility of advising them. But she didn't. She didn't want to leave her bubble of obliviousness and ignorance. If these were not sins, then what were they?
"Moreover, even if I say that, what is going to happen? Are you saying that you will let me go with no charges? Are you going to say that you will return the palace, the garden, my family, my everything? Well, isn't that grand."
"...you'll be living in a monastery in the mountain. You can never return to this land, but you will live."
"So you would like me to live and drown in abuse. How cruel."
"…I just want you to live."
She ended up bursting in to laughter. Xuan Fanhua intended it to be elegant yet it turned distorted and ugly instead. It was like the cackling of a mad woman.
"Liar. "
Feng Yuntian flinched back at the word, as if she had physically struck him.
He looked down for a moment, but when he looked up, his expression was blank once more.
Aa, what a stupid woman. A stupid woman whose brain is worse than an animal. Hopeless.
...No, it's not...
Xuan Fanhua jerked her head towards Feng Yuntian but he hadn't opened his mouth.
...Can you hear me? It'll be fine, trust me...
Xuan Fanhua took a deep breath. The voices in her head strangely comforting her. She started to giggle madly when she thought of how talking to oneself was a sign of crazy.
...Step backwards. Let yourself be free...
She sighed in contentment even as Feng Yuntian eyed her warily. She knew that voice well. That voice--
"So that there wouldn't be trouble, I will disappear for good. Isn't that your wish? Praise me, please."
...Go, spread your wings...
"So that is your choice," Feng Yuntian intoned gravely.
--it was her own voice.
The last step backward and she saw him widening his eyes, arms stretched forward uselessly as the wind howled in her ear.
"Ahahahaha!"
She could see his face contorting into disbelief, worry, pain. He was such an amazing actor, to act even at that point where she might not even see his face.
"Fanfan!"
Ah, she was finally--
Free.
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«Cypress--mourning and despair»