It's quite tough out here to figure out exactly where I am. A smell of sickness, medicines & chemicals is surrounding me. All I could hear is some beeps of machines around me, there's an awkward silence out here something which is choking my breath & making me restless as every second is passing. I couldn't even remember in what circumstances I was brought in here. All I could recall is doctor's serious tone instructing the nurses to shift me in the ICU, oh wait yeah ICU maybe I'm right in here. As the time is passing my subconscious mind is activating slowly, I could recall her sobbing…..
__________
'SHEHNAAZ! WHERE ARE YOU? ARE YOU FINE! JUST LET ME GO I'LL HAVE TO MEET HER, SHE'S CRYING & I'M DYING KNOWING THAT I CAN'T HELP HER OUT!'
& Noone could hear me out, I'm trying my best to wake up & shout on everyone in here, honestly this silence is killing me & the rest part which is making it worst is that I don't know where she is. I'm still in a state of helplessness, its like not even a single part of my body is in a state to respond to the commands my brain has been providing to them. I think I'm near to death, but still there's something holding me in oh yes! That part on the left side of my chest is still beating heavily. Every single moment I've spent with her is quite fresh.
_____________
& At this very moment I've started hating myself, reason? Because I had promised her that she won't ever cry for me, she won't have to shed even a single tear for me! & Guess what? I gifted her the worst part of her life, I gifted her a sea of tears. I made her eyes wet! God! those eyes, I couldn't even dream of how worst they would've turned out. Her eyes made me fall, her eyes turned my life, her eyes made me love! I can still remember the first time we met, rather our eyes met. She was in a Burqa & we just shared a glance, our eyes stuck on each other. Trust me, I'd never ever dreamt of how perfect someone's eyes can be, & shehnaaz was a live example of how perfect artistic skills god has.
___________
The perfect example of how love can happen at just a glance, first sight! I couldn't even dream of how could I deserve someone like her, I felt like I'm the happiest person ever on this whole planet. & Look at us now, we're apart, so far from each other that we can't even hold our hands for the last time. Yes, precisely for the last time, because I think it's my time to make a call finally I'll have to select amongst 2 options I've got. "Love" & "Life". Maybe I'll have to chose love, the love which is beyond life. & If she could hear my heart out, all I want to say is that, 'I'm already dead when I saw you crying, I know I wasn't conscious but I heard it all, your cries, your broken voice.
__________
'Govind! I can't let you go, leave me I want to be with him I love him, just let me go!' was all you could say & they dragged you inside the car. I couldn't look at you, but I can imagine your face, yeah that beautiful face would've turned red, those perfect eyes would've swollen until now. & Here I am lying on a bed waiting to leave this world. How coward I am? Isn't it. But hey listen, I won't ever forget how you would dance like a kid whenever I would play any DDLJ song, & how I would give you a jealous look when you told me that you loved SRK a bit more than me. Alright, I'll carry in all the moments together, & I'm sorry I couldn't keep my promise, I'm sorry I left you midway, I'm sorry but maybe I'll have to leave sooner or later. I don't have any aspirations now, I don't even want anything from my leftover life. I just want you right now in front of me, & stare at your eyes, lose myself within them & leave this world! Maybe forever.
"Ajeeb hote hai na kuch rishte? Milte taqdeer se hai, aur milkar apni hi taqdeer badalne ke sapne sajaate hai!"