Once my strength returned enough for me to stand and move, I hurried towards Arnest City. I rode on a horse alongside Indra, as walking long distances with a body that had not fully recovered was impossible. Indra suggested that I ride with him for that very reason. We set off first, leaving the others behind. Since all our belongings were loaded on Erik's horse, we had no choice but to walk.
Indra's war horse nimbly climbed and jumped over the roots of the Giant Hanarusa tree with ease. It was truly a movement that would be impossible for humans to imitate, let alone someone still injured like me.
Along the way, I noticed something unusual happening in this forest. For some reason the water that usually floods this place after sunset has disappeared!
"The water is… receding," I said softly, unaware that my thoughts had slipped out.
"Initially, this forest was flooded, but suddenly it receded along with the appearance of the monster."
Indra's words danced in my ears, and his breath brushed against the back of my neck, making me feel ticklish. I was currently riding the same horse as the bald guy, which made me uncomfortable. Initially, I wanted to sit behind him, but he firmly prohibited it. He explained that riding a horse is completely different from riding a motorbike. Especially with the irregular terrain of this forest, he was worried that I would fall during the trip later.
Not wanting to prolong the situation, I agreed to his proposal. As time passed, we drew closer to our destination. In the distance, I saw clouds hanging in the sky, shining brightly as if it were morning. However, the sun had just set. Smoke billowed high from the direction of the city, spreading with the wind. Even though we were still far away, my chest felt tight—not because of the smoke, but for another reason.
Imagining Arnest City being destroyed because of what I did... makes me feel terrified.
Indra had told me about the chaotic conditions in the city following the rampage of the owl monster I had fought earlier. I found it hard to believe it was real. If such a thing happened, there would be a mix of feelings, the strongest of which would probably be guilt.
"Was my action... wrong?" I said softly, unaware that the thought had slipped out.
"Anggi, I won't justify your actions, but I also won't blame you. No one could have anticipated this outcome. Honestly, I hesitate to call this an accident; that would belittle the lives that were lost and excuse your actions."
I glanced back for a moment and caught a glimpse of Indra's face, which looked mature and dignified. He appeared so dashing and charming, like the main knight of a kingdom.
His words were true. I should not justify my actions by using the name 'accident'. I knowingly disturbed the owl monster's dwelling for personal gain. It cannot be denied that the chaos in Arnest City was also the result of my interference.
What I fear most is the number of people who will become victims. If more victims fall, I might be haunted by feelings of guilt for the rest of my life. Even now, my hands can't stop shaking as I imagine how dire the situation will be there.
Seconds passed, and the closer I got to the city, the more uneasy I felt. Buildings began to appear, and it seemed that the monster's rampage had not reached this area yet, as evidenced by the intact houses on the outskirts.
Indra stopped his horse and dismounted, helping me down from the saddle. I looked further into the city center where fires were burning everywhere, thick smoke billowing high into the sky. Fortunately, the wind wasn't blowing here; otherwise, I might have been surrounded by smoke and found it difficult to breathe. I dragged my feet up the steps leading above the trees and walked along the small path and wooden bridge that connected them.
It didn't take long to reach the city center, where I confronted the horror I had imagined. Many Hanarusa trees had fallen and been uprooted, with several destroyed beyond recognition. Buildings filled with people sat precariously atop these trees. The fire engulfed nearly the entire city center. Since Arnest City was built on trees, the flames spread rapidly, especially with the strong winds fueling them. My ears were filled with the sound of screams and cries for help. The residents of the city seemed to be scattering, desperately trying to escape. Everyone did not hesitate to elbow each other and scrambled to cross the small roads and bridges. There were even some people who fell from the trees because they were so pressed together.
During the chaos, my body fell to my knees on the wooden path when someone ran and nudged me. I was unable to stand, my head hung down. It was not because I ran out of stamina, but rather guilt that made these two legs—lose the strength to support my body. My body was difficult to move. It was as if there were the hands of the residents who lost their lives because of my actions, shackling my entire body.
I fell into the void. Deep into a world of despair where so many negative emotions gathered around me.
What did I do wrong?
Would it be better if this journey to find the Spirit Crystal had not started at the beginning?
When I was born on Earth, my country was a peaceful place. Living my days as a high school student where I didn't know any bloodshed at all was a very enjoyable thing in life. There were things like wars or criminal cases, but I only saw them on television. I had never seen anyone lose their lives with my own eyes. For some reason, I just realized that such a small thing is worth being grateful for.
Even when I lived in this Juiller world, I did live as a petty criminal in the underworld. But I never once killed anyone. Almost taking Elzhar's life scared me. What more with hundreds of people dying before my eyes because of my actions?
If only I hadn't come to this city!
If only I hadn't found out about the Spirit Crystal!
If only I hadn't picked up that stupid pin!
If that had happened, I would not be in this terrible world. I would not have come to this town and killed its people. I regret it. I really, really regret it. I cannot bear the burden of guilt and responsibility that is so overwhelming.
Someone, please stop thisssss!!
"Anggi!"
A second later I heard Indra's high voice. So loud that his voice was clearly audible amidst the chaos. I slowly looked up, I could see this man's piercing eyes. He placed his large palm on my head, rubbing it hard, and then he crouched down until his gaze was at the same level as mine.
What? What are you trying to do? Do you want to comfort me? Do you think you can? All I want is to stop all of this by any means necessary.
"Anggi!" Indra snapped his hand still not leaving my head. "I know you're devastated. I'll try to stop that crazy monster before it destroys us. In the meantime, you stay here and calm yourself down. Once your mind has cooled down, you're free to do whatever you want."
Before I could reply to his words, the man stood up and turned around. Then he walked towards the city center, to a place where no one wanted to be. Towards the opposite direction from where everyone was running. The man's back did not flinch at all. It was as if the valor of the knight's armor he wore was very much in tune with Indra's steel mentality.
Right now, that was the figure I longed for the most. I wanted to be like him. My hands unconsciously tried to reach that back but couldn't reach it.