I sat limply in front of the teenager Elvian, lying helplessly. The sign of life in his eyes faded away, his breath getting weaker. It was only a matter of time until he lost his life.
But is this correct?
Is killing someone the right thing to do at this time?
At first, I just wanted to paralyze him. I never thought the arrow I let out would thrust into his chest. Oh, my god! I didn't want to see someone die in front of my eyes because of me. Imagining the grief that the Elvian family had to go through instantly made my chest hurt.
I knew I couldn't be naive. In this journey, there must be a time for me to take the lives of others. But not so fast as this. I wasn't ready to bear the responsibility and guilt of killing people.
Deep down, I wanted this teenage Elvian to stay alive. If only I could—.
"...-ggi. Anggi!!!" Suddenly Dimas' screams echoed in my ears. It was as if the voice had just emerged from the silence.
"Eh, wh-what?" I stammered, trying to pay attention to Dimas' expression.
"Get out of the way so Shella can help her!"
When I looked ahead, Shella was already there. The girl sat across from me and supported the head of the teenage Elvian with her hands. She tried to make Elvian drink something I didn't know. I tried to understand the situation but couldn't. Whereas previously, Shella hid behind tree roots to avoid fighting, now she was sitting beside Elvian.
At that instant, a great force tugged at my arm forcibly, making me inevitably have to stand up to follow the pull direction. My eyes stared at Dimas. The man showed his angry expression in front of me.
"I've shouted at you many times earlier, but you didn't hear at all," cried Dimas, trying to explain that I wanted to know. "I want to take you away. But you seem pretty shaken up, so I thought you didn't want this guy to die. So I called Shella to help him. Let's hope he doesn't draw his spear at us after we give him another chance to live!" he snorted.
Hearing Dimas' explanation, my chest was immediately relieved. My anxiety disappeared instantly after finding that Elvian's life could be saved. Maybe I feel relieved to be eased of the responsibility of killing someone. If I let him die, the guilt would probably haunt me for the rest of my life. Maybe I feel relieved to be eased of the responsibility of killing someone.
Always being overshadowed by the first victim you kill isn't an easy life. If there was another option, I would take it to avoid it.
I cast my gaze at Shella, who was nursing Elvian. She skillfully put a kind of herbal leaf mix around the wound on Elvian's chest. Maybe it was a painkiller. Then the girl took a scalpel from her big bag and prepared to make a bigger incision to remove the arrow in Elvian's chest.
I immediately looked away in another direction, turned my body, and then walked forward. Then sit bending my knees behind the roots of a tall tree so I didn't have to see the process that made me grieve. Dimas followed me, but the man said nothing. Just sat beside and accompanied me.
"Hey, am I doing something wrong to save the enemy?" I asked quietly, trying to break the silence between us.
"Sorry, I don't know," he replied flatly as he stared far up at the sky. "Sorry, there are many things in this world that I don't know."
"I'm still not ready to bear the burden I have to take when killing people."
"I understand your feelings," answered Dimas in a warm tone. "That's how gentle you are."
I didn't reply to him. Just stay silent and drop my gaze to the ground. Silence fell between us once again, not any word exchanged. My eyes darted to the side, watching Dimas, who didn't express any. I didn't know what he thought about this. Interested about what was in his head, I started a talk.
"When you fought that Elvian, how did you feel?"
"I didn't feel anything," he answered simply without glancing at me while I was still staring at him. Intrigued by the expression he would make.
"Aren't you afraid of killing your opponent?"
"What I fear the most was that one of the three of us would get hurt or die."
"Have you ever killed someone before, Dimas?"
"Of course not," he said with a wry smile. "You can call me an egoist. Rather than you or Shella, I'd rather someone else die. It's the reason I fight."
Oh, so that's it.
I understood a little how Dimas felt. When in battle, logically, people would choose to kill the opponent rather than die. It was a basic reason for self-defense.
But at the same time, it was hard for me to do it. I couldn't kill that teenage Elvian. If it was calculated by human age, his age was probably two or three years younger than mine. My wildest mind couldn't imagine myself taking the life of someone who was almost my age.
After all, if we looked at it from a different perspective, Elvian might attack us because he thought we were a threat to the city he lived in. Shella, Dimas, and I, who were humans, had far crossed the border between humans and Elvian. It was natural that the teenage Elvian felt threatened by the presence of the three of us. Maybe I would do the same if I were in his shoes. Then-.
I suddenly gasped, then lowered my head and smiled. What I just said was complete nonsense. I wasn't sure I could do the same with that Elvian. Honestly, I already knew the reason I couldn't kill someone. But I kept denying it.
I just... didn't want to see other people get hurt.
I couldn't stand to see people suffer, especially because of my actions. Maybe Dimas was right. I was too soft. I couldn't be a person with determination like him who would do anything for my and Shella's safety.
It made me a little worried. Because if I continued to have this mindset, it would only make it difficult for me on this journey. There were times when I would have to face people who would stand in my way. They indeed weren't people who would give up when I asked.
This journey wasn't fun and easy like a children's adventure film. This was reality. There would always be things that must be sacrificed in order to achieve the goal. And for that purpose, I must have a strong will and put away my weak character. I looked down, regretting the fact that I was still weak.
I wished ... I could bring out that courage at the right time.
Feeling tired from everything that happened made sleepiness and weakness invade my body. I leaned my head against the roots of a giant tree and tried to close my eyes for a moment. Hoping this bad feeling went away with time.
The next time I opened my eyes, I saw a cluster of stars spread out across the night sky. Rubiel shone brightly. Accompanied by colorful space dust, making this sky so amazing to look at.
For the umpteenth time, I never feel bored looking at the night sky in this world.
I blinked, tried to clear my eyes, and looked around. That was when I realized that I was asleep on Dimas' lap. Immediately I got up. Feeling the weight on his lap disappeared, Dimas also woke up.
"H-How could I sleep on your lap?" I stammered, unable to hide my surprise.
"Earlier, you fell asleep with a bent body position. That's why I laid you on my lap," he said with a flat face, then he yawned.
"You didn't do anything weird while I was sleeping, did you?"
"Of course not! Even though I'm kind enough not to let you sleep in such a painful position, how could you just accuse me like that!" he shouted in a high-pitched voice.
"I apologize. I'm just joking," I replied briefly, then immediately looked away from the other way.
When I found I was asleep on Dimas' lap, my face felt hot for some reason. I didn't want the guy to know, even though the illumination here was only from Rubiel's faint glow. My heart was pounding a little. Trying to convince myself that Dimas couldn't see clearly my face in this darkness.
That was when I heard Shella scream from behind the roots of this giant bonsai tree. Dimas swiftly stood up and climbed up the tree roots, as did I, who tried to catch up with him. My mind suddenly went crazy. I was worried that Elvian had come to his senses and was trying to hurt Shella.
After jumping over the giant root, my worries disappeared. The teenager Elvian was already aware. But his condition did not allow him to injure or hold Shella as a hostage. In fact, he seemed to have difficulty getting up. Bloodstains clung to his wound even though it was wrapped in bandages.
"You shouldn't have to get up earlier!" Shella exclaimed in a high tone. She helped the teenage Elvian, who wanted to get up, then leaned him against the tree roots.
Elvian squinted at Shella, then directed at Dimas and me. The hatred still lingered on his face even though he had just gone through a critical period.
"What were you guys doing in our forest, Humans?" he said sharply in Elvian tongue. Confusing my two friends and relied on me to communicate with him.
"Sorry if our presence displeased you. There's something we have to find in this city." I replied in the Elvian language. "I'm also sorry for shooting you. I had no choice."
The Elvian digested my words well before finally taking a deep breath. "We're even. You have given me a chance to live. Though I thought I was going to die." Then his eyes stared intently at me from head to toe. He was surprised when he saw the shape of my ears for a moment. "What are you really? Your ears were long, but your skin and hair didn't resemble Elvian at all. Surprisingly, you could also speak our language."
"Long story. Most importantly, how about your body now?" I asked, then came closer and knelt beside him.
Once again, he glared in confusion. "You're so weird, aren't you? You could have just let me die. Why bother saving your enemy's life?"
I paused for a moment to hear his question. The funny thing was that the thing he asked was the thing I was thinking about earlier.
"I don't want to see other people get hurt, especially because of what I did," I answered slowly.
The teenage Elvian looked at me and was silent, then shook his head slowly. "You must know that it would trouble you later on."
"I already knew."
He let out a long sigh, then glanced around and looked at the sky. "By the way, how long has it been since the sunset?"
"I don't know, maybe an hour or so. Why?"
"It's not good! We have to get out of here immediately!" he cried in panic. Regardless of his condition, the teenage Elvian tried to get up on his own despite being exhausted. It made Shella instantly help him up.
"What's wrong?" I asked curiously.
"Tonight was the New Rubiel. As the night goes on, the water would start to flood the entire forest!"