I was trying to keep my composure while crying in bed, for some reason the dream shook me up. I started to feel guilty and selfish for leaving my family when we were in mourning.
I was such a spoiled brat that I had dared to only think about myself. I should've thought about my family members feelings instead of getting way into my own head and putting myself in a stress coma. Why couldn't I have been more considerate? Why couldn't I have been more sympathetic? Why didn't I look past my own selfish, ignorant veil?!
I thought about it more but I started to think too deep about it and stayed up until morning, not even thinking of time I had been startled when Clarita knocked on the door. She tried not to looked worried and gave me a smile, she must've seen my puffy, red eyes.
"Hello dear, did you sleep well?" she asked, I decided that I wouldn't be selfish anymore and would keep my misery to myself.
"I slept very well Clarita, thank you for asking." I tried to smile but it hurt because of the lump in my throat, then it really hit me, Clarita must've been affected too, Mom was her best friend.
"Breakfast is ready, my dear." she chimed in, interrupting my thoughts.
"Thank you Clarita, I'll come down in a minute." I got dressed and put a comb through my hair, then quickly went downstairs and saw that Gaston, once again, was in the spot right. next. to. me. I didn't want to seem rude so I sat down politely next to him.
"Good morning, Gaston." I said sweetly, he seemed taken aback
"Oh, um. Good morning, darling!" he said. We all ate, well, tried to. My brothers wouldn't stop glaring at him. He seemed uncomfortable but so was I, he had his hand on mine the whole breakfast.
I decided to not throw a fit, cause a scene, and be rude.
My father must've thought that I liked him holding my hand because at some point in time he said the corniest thing, "Ah. Young love!" He exclaimed when he saw our hands. I would've like to gag.