Sunday morning, the sun is shining bright outside the hospital window. I can see my Mom in the near couch, sleeping. I know she had been exhausted for the last few days since I had my cancer diagnosis. She's been accompanying me in and out of the hospital for several tests that I need prior surgery. My surgery went successfully yesterday. Tomorrow I can already go home.
But today is my birthday. Can you believe that? I never thought I would celebrate my birthday in a hospital with a diagnosed dreaded disease. I closed my eyes. After a few minutes, I doze off.
I woke up with the noise around me. "Mom, what's going on?" I asked my Mom with half closed eyes. Then suddenly, I noticed that there are more people in the room. "Happy Birthday Sophie, Happy Birthday Sophie, Happy Birthday Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday Sophie!" I was fully awakened by the joyful birthday song. Standing around me are my friends and colleagues at work. My entire family are also there. They brought cakes and flowers. I was so suprised that tears start welling up in my eyes. "Oh thank you everyone." I've been crying for days. But my tears are different today. They are tears of joy. Thank you for making me happy just by your presence here."
I was feeling so emotional. Two days ago my mind is already filled with thoughts of dying. It changed suddenly today. Something's telling me that today will not be my last birthday.
We took some photos celebrating, trying to forget the reason why I am staying at the hospital. I saw the change of expression in my Mom's face. Her aura is more radiant today. I don't see any sign of stress or worry.
Since it's my birthday, I thought it's my chance to make a wish or I might be privileged today to offer a prayer of petition to God no matter how impossible it may be. I just want to live longer.
I receive more flowers from friends and from people who wishes to comfort me in this time of ordeal. Later that evening I felt peaceful and relaxed and was able to sleep earlier than expected. I lie down comfortably in the hospital bed and instantly dozed off.
I saw myself as a child about 5 years of age, running around the garden with someone trailing behind me. "Sophie, be careful!" A familiar voice, somewhat a familiar face. Who is this boy? Lanky, black haired, fair complexion, a young boy wearing spectacles. He is holding a huge fluffy teddy bear. When I heard his voice calling out to me I automatically stopped from running around and approached him cheerfully. "You're back!" I hugged him. "Well, how can I miss your birthday." He said while pinching my chubby cheeks. Happy Birthday Sophie! I bought this fluffy thing as your gift. Do you like it?" He handed me the teddy bear smiling. "I love it!" I replied. The boy reached out for my hand. It felt warm. But why can't I remember his name? The scene changed. It was my 12th birthday. The boy had grown taller and handsome. He is still wearing spectacles but he looks pleasantly attractive. He is holding my birthday cake. "Happy Birthday Sophie! Make a wish." He said waiting for me to speak. "I wish for you to stay." I uttered my birthday wish then blew out the candle. I saw his sad expression then. My Mom approached him and said "Don't mind her. This girl is just being a baby knowing she can't see you for a long time. Send my regards to your parents. I'm sure they will be happy that you can finally join them in the US. I heard you're going to a medical school?" Mom asked the boy. He nodded. The scene changed again. I was waving goodbye to my good friend at the airport. But what's his name? Why can't I remember? I cried as the airplane sets off. Since then, I had never seen him again. . . I woke up crying. . . What a sad dream. What an unfulfilled Birthday Wish. . .