I lean back in my chair as the school bus' engine revs up.
"Haaa, what a tiring day."
Seriously, Chase… Cut it a little closer, will you?
I thought my high school career was over a good five times back there. My hair probably went all gray without me even realizing it.
Uh, figuratively of course. I don't think that's actually a thing that happens.
"…"
I open up my makeup bag and lift my compact mirror above my head to investigate.
Phew, everything looks fine.
I nod to myself and place it back inside of my makeup bag before allowing myself to slink back into my seat.
I can't believe he defended me like that, though.
I had already told him to just leave it alone earlier, but he goes and butts heads with Jen anyway like I'm actually…
His…
His, girl… f…
Ahhhh! What the heck am I thinking?! That's soooo gross!
Never never never never never!
Not with a geek like him!
Not with a degenerate virgin pervert like him!
Ew ew ew ew ew!
Okay, maybe I'm overreacting a little. I wouldn't have asked him to help me if I found him that unpleasant. He's an okay person, I guess.
But still!
No way!
I would never do it! Not with him!
Ahem.
Anyways, enough about that.
Right now, I'm currently "enjoying" the bus ride home after that day full of tension and worry.
And I say "enjoying" because I can already tell it's going to be a dull one.
Next to me is Momo, who already has her earphones settled in and is reading one of her fancy books. From what I've gathered of her so far, this is a fairly normal thing for her to do. I mean, I caught her with earphones on reading Catcher in the Rye during geography class just last Friday. I've kinda already come to accept that this is just a part of her just style.
The introverted, cool-girl aesthetic. I don't think anyone pulls it off as well as she does.
It's a bit of let-down that she'd go as far as to do it while I'm right here, though.
Jen has cheerleading practice today, so there's absolutely no way she was gonna ride with us. Not unless we waited, and by then all of the buses would be gone and we'd have to ride with her scary dad…
Yeaaaah, there's no way I'm ever doing that again.
This basically means that I'm all alone on this bus with Momo for today.
"Haaa…"
Guess I could just scroll through Twitter on my phone like I usually do.
I haven't been able to check things out much with how exciting the day was. Maybe it'll make the ride home less boring.
But the moment I reach into my pocket, I catch a glance of Momo in the corner of my vision. She seems to be holding one of her earphones out to me.
"Would you like to listen?"
My eyes shift between the earphone and her usual, uninterested gaze.
Uhm, should I accept? She seems like a heavy metal kind of girl, and quite frankly that's really not my thing.
I guess saying no would be rude though… Like, she did offer and all.
Oh well, what's the harm?
"Uhmm, sure!"
After hesitating for a moment, I swallow my pride and pop it into my ear.
Okay Scarlet, you can do this.
Just fake your interest.
You're a pro at this, you can…
…
I freeze up the second the music starts up.
It had completely caught me off guard.
"Drake? You?"
"Surprised?"
"Pleasantly!"
Almost immediately, I begin bobbing my head slowly and steadily to the beat.
Omygosh, I did not think she would like this kind of stuff. What a good decision this was!
"You know, I thought your taste would be more… Uh…"
"Underground? Oh don't worry, it is. This is the playlist I made for Jennifer."
"Really? You did a good job then! God's Plan is one of my new favorites. Did she prepare a list for you to go off of or something?"
"Oh no, not at all. All I did was scroll through billboard's top 100 and pick songs out at random."
She says it with a bit of a giggle. I can't tell if she's poking at how obvious our taste is or not.
"Honestly though, what surprised me was how much she insisted that I remove all Post Malone songs."
"Really? That's weird. Does she hate his music or something?"
"Nope, she loves them. He just reminds her of a guy she dated for two hours this one time."
Two… hours?
"But other than that, it wasn't all that difficult to put it together. In fact, it was kind of adorable how much she enjoyed such a simple playlist."
"A-ah, is that so?"
As far as I could tell from how they speak to one another, Momo has probably been friends with Jen for quite a long time. As a matter of fact, I only got to know Jen because I happened to speak to Momo on this very bus a few weeks ago.
It was such a fortunate coincidence, too.
After I realized they were friends, I did my best to learn how to make myself fashionable and cool enough to befriend her. Surely enough, it worked out and I've finally become someone.
This is the first time I've ever been a part of the popular crowd at school.
And as it turns out, it's everything it's hyped up to be and more.
Everyone smiles at me, people give me respect, it's completely different compared to how middle school went for me.
Of course, there's still one problem. I'm having trouble hiding my boy issue. If that secret gets out, then there's no telling what would happen to my reputation.
Ahh, it's so frustrating! Why can't I just talk to guys normally like every other girl?! Geez, some people don't know how easy they have it…
I take a glance at Momo, who's already back to being absorbed in her book.
Only… huh? This doesn't look like an ordinary book.
The general formatting of the page is something I'm not very familiar with. The names of each character are written in bold print followed by their lines, which are written tidily beneath it. From where I'm seated, it reads more like a script than like a novel.
It's making me curious...
"Hey, what're you reading there?"
"A Midsummer Night's Dream."
She answers without skipping a beat. The lack of pause gives me the impression that she had already known what I was going to ask. Or maybe she wanted me to?
"Oh. Sounds interesting, I think? Is it for your literature class?"
"Nope, we're reading Romeo & Juliet in that class. I felt the urge to read this one since I was already in the mood for Shakespeare. This one's a bit more comical."
"Comical, huh? Must be… Uh, fun?"
Dammit Scarlet, you're blowing this.
I take a deep breath to refocus on the conversation.
"So, what's it about?"
At my question, she slides her bookmark into the page she was reading from before completely shutting the book.
"What do you think it's about?"
She holds the cover up to my face.
"Hmmm…"
The art on the cover page shows a man with a horse… no, a donkey's head beside a woman with insect-like wings. A fairy, maybe?
It's kind of… abstract, isn't it?
Still, as far as her question goes, this kind of cover will only confuse me even more. What kind of answer is she expecting, exactly?
"Uhh… Some sort of weird dream about animal people, maybe?"
I smile nervously, but she continues eyeing me as if waiting for another guess.
"I'm sorry, I have no idea…"
"Haha, don't worry. I didn't expect you to get it right. I picked it up because I couldn't tell you what the subject was at the time either."
She smiles and then opens the book to the page her bookmark was resting in.
"Everyone already knows about Romeo & Juliet. They were in love, but their love was forbidden by their families. And in the end, due to some nonsensical misunderstanding, they both end up committing suicide over one another."
Well yeah, even someone like me who's barely paid attention in a Literature class knows that much. The two are kind of iconic in romance fiction after all.
"But this play? The most you'll have heard without prior knowledge are a few quotes or the names 'Oberon', 'Titania' or 'Puck'. It's way more interesting than a play that everyone already knows the ending to."
She takes a moment to turn the page.
"But anyway, to answer your question: after Hermia was forced into an arranged marriage with a handsome nobleman called Demetrius, she ends up escaping into the woods to elope with her true love, Lysander. It sounds like a simplistic story at first, but coincidentally, the king and queen of fairies are actually in the middle of a dispute over something mundane in that very same forest. When the conflicts over-arch… Well, as you can tell from the cover, some interesting things end up happening."
After explaining the story, she goes quiet once more as she falls back into her book.
That's Momo for you, she's even better spoken than Chase…
But I end up scoffing at the synopsis despite how well she explains it.
"Sounds unrealistic. Who would turn down marrying into money just to go live in the wild with some everyday Joe?"
I mean seriously, why would you run away from that? Marrying a rich, handsome noble? That's anything you could ever want in life and it's being handed to you. Talk about an unrealistic story. It's painstakingly obvious that it was written by a dumb male who has no idea how a woman's heart works.
"…"
But, thinking back to how Chase took control of the situation and got me out of cafeteria back then… I did think he wasn't so bad at that time.
Maybe an average guy might not be the worst thing in the world.
The music from the earphone fills my mind, allowing me to entertain that fantasy of a whimsical love with someone completely normal for just a moment.
"Yeah, you're right. Thinking about it logically, who would turn down dating their pick of popular guys just to go out with a normal-looking man from the nerd circle?"
"Wha-! T-that's different…"
How did she know what I was thinking?!
"Hehe, are you sure it's different? Look, Scarlet. You're blushing."
She snickers at me while poking my cheek.
"What…? N-no I'm not…"
I reach into my makeup bag one more time and take a look at my face through the mirror.
Oh my gosh, she's right. But why? I don't even like him that way!
I guess it's because I've just never been this close to a boy my age… I mean, we've only spoken to each other for a day but he's already been a lot of firsts for me.
Still, even after imagining it I just can't see myself going out with him for real. He's just way too plain. And his friends are just so… Ugh!
He still gets a big no from me.
"By the way…"
I instinctively rush to pack the mirror the instant I sense Momo's sudden shift in tone.
"Y-yes? What is it?"
She takes a moment to organize her thoughts before she begins speaking.
"I should have said this earlier but… I'm sorry about what I said at lunch."
"Huh? What do you mean?"
She clears her throat to ready herself before she continues.
"It wasn't a good idea to bring that issue with his friend up while he was present. It was in poor taste, and I feel as if I was a bit impertinent in doing so. Between Jennifer and myself, we may have damaged his first impression of your friends."
"No no no, it's fine! He's okay, really."
She closes the book once more, clearly unable to focus on it at the moment.
"Even if he's fine with it, we did make a blunder of the whole thing today. I'm genuinely sorry that the two of you had to go through that."
She clears her throat one more time.
"I'll find my own way of dealing with Sigmund, so please don't burden yourself over it. I can already tell that Chase is a good person. I'm relieved that you managed to find someone like him, and those are my honest feelings."
She pats my shoulder.
"So don't let what I said today get in the way of your love, okay?"
"Momo!"
I instinctively reach out and wrap my arms around her neck, then press and rub my cheek against hers.
"H-hey, not so tight…"
She squirms nervously, clearly not used to this sort of sudden physical contact.
"No, it has to be this much. It's the least I could do. That's so sweet of you!"
"S-scarlet, really… It's fine. Y-you don't have to…"
"Oh, don't be like that. Here! Let's take a selfie to commemorate!"
"W-wha, don't!"
"Come on, don't ruin it. Here."
I pull my cellphone out of my pocket and lift it slightly above our heads.
"Smile!"
"Mmnn…"
Though she seemed against it at first, she doesn't really put up much of a fight. She looks away from the camera in a futile attempt to hide her embarrassment.
Ahhh Momo, you're so damn cute… This is perfect!
Snap! Snap! I take the picture without giving her any sort of warning.
"There!"
I remove my arm from around her and take a look at the pictures.
"Ohh, it's cute! I'll send this one to you later."
"Please delete those pictures."
"Relax, you look great!"
I smile and slip the phone back into my pocket.
Really though, that's the most heartfelt thing anyone has said to me since I came to this school. And for it to come from someone as cool as you…
You really are an angel, aren't you?
But, I'm sorry for lying.
We're not actually dating.
I just really needed the clout from Jen.
...
The bus eventually arrives at my destination and I immediately find myself heading home to rest.
Though I hadn't planned it initially, naps slowly became an important part of my schedule ever since I entered high school. I suppose it's just a result of my other daily activities and how they affect my energy levels.
To go more in-depth, my alarm goes off at 5:00am every morning. Once I'm up, I'll change into something more comfortable and head out for my morning jog. The goal is to keep my body in shape in order to keep up with my appearances as one of the popular kids.
What's unfortunate about waking up that early though, is that home-work and social media usually keep me up until a little before 12:00am most of the time. The end result is that I end up spending most of my day at school somewhat sleep deprived.
It might be inconvenient, but if it helps me stay popular then I'm all for it. I have an image to maintain, and it's not as if my baggy eyes are a problem as long as I apply some concealer carefully enough. The only real issue with all of this is staying energized for the day, and for that I ran through a few ideas until I found the perfect one.
Energy drinks were the first thing that came to mind, but it felt counter-productive to work out just before having something that unhealthy to drink. The other caffeinated alternative was coffee, but mom didn't seem too keen on the idea for some reason and suggested I learn to make smoothies instead. They're a pain to make so I groaned at the idea at first, but after thinking about it for a moment, I realized something. Smoothies are supposed to be really good for your body, aren't they? That's like killing two birds with one stone!
To be fair, they don't work as well as energy drinks do, but what does, right? At a certain point, we just have to accept that caffeine is like doping for high school and college students. But that doesn't mean I'm hurting too much from not having any. The smoothies do help my mind settle down for most of the day. They keep me going during the time I take the bus to school, the time I take to socialize with other popular girls, the time I take to pay attention in classes, all the way up until I head back home to take my evening nap. I'd say they do well at sustaining me during school hours, at least.
Which leads us to the present.
Normally, after napping for a few hours after I arrive, I'd dive straight into my home-work to get it over with as early as possible. I still need to get in my study and leisure hours after all.
But there's a bit of a problem with that today.
"I can't focus on this stuff at all…!"
I've been going at it for the past 15 minutes, but as I thought it's no good.
My thoughts keep going back to Chase and what happened at lunch.
I can't seem to get it out of my mind. That was the first time someone had ever really stood up for me like that, yet alone a guy. Where were people like him during middle school? Is this the power of my popularity?
At the time, I was scared that Jen would cut all ties with me for it, but instead she seems to have gained some level of respect for the two of us. That kind of happy ending seemed so unreal to me at the time, but I'm relieved that it all worked out in the end.
I guess this means it wouldn't be such a bad idea to continue fake-dating for a while longer. I mean, it's not like I completely hate him or anything, so it should be fine right?
I look down at my home-work.
"…"
This is hopeless. There's no point in doing this.
I'm never going to need algebra for anything anyway.
I decide to give up on my home-work and fall flat on my bed.
In the end all I can think about is Chase.
And the mere fact that he's occupying my thoughts so much confuses me because there's so many other guys that I'm way more interested in.
Like for example, there's a really cute one who's been texting me since the school year started.
He's a sophomore called Jack Bourne and, you won't believe it but, he's the vocalist for a band! Not only that, but he's got a toned body and a jawline like Liam Hemsworth. The way he spoke to me when we first met was like… I don't know, it felt so magical to me. Like my heart had set sail on a romantic, disney-esque journey without me. I almost could not believe that he was interested in me at first, but it seems as if befriending Jen came with more perks than I'd originally thought.
However, there's one problem I can't seem to get rid of.
"I'm soooo bad at talking to boys…"
Even if it isn't face to face, that terrible feeling still wells up in my chest. I have this irrational fear that I'll say something completely absurd that'll make him stop replying to me. I couldn't live with myself if I messed up like that. And even that isn't as bad as how I feel in real life.
I guess that's why Chase has been on my mind all day. I've never spoken to a boy that much before. And that includes Jack, who I've been acquainted with since the first few days of school.
… Okay okay, I'll confess. All I've been doing is timidly answering whatever questions he's sent me in as few words as possible.
There's little room for error, but I don't think we've gotten anywhere because of it.
"Yea. No. Lol. No way! Ok."
Along with some emoji I sprinkled in, those are most likely the only things I've been sending his way since we started texting.
Ahh, it's so embarrassing…
But!
All of that changes today!
After all the talking I've done with another boy today, I'm certain I'll be a bit better at it this time! I just have to be!
I open up my direct messages and scan my inbox, and sure enough he's there right at the top of the list.
"Oh! A new message…"
My heart's pace quickens.
I wonder what it'll say today? Is he finally gonna ask me out?
Oh my gosh oh my gosh, please ask me out. I promise I'll get over my complex if you do! Just, please!
With a shaky finger, finger I tap the screen to open up the conversation.
And right there, in plain text, he asks the question I should have anticipated to begin with.
"Are you really going out with Chase?"
"…"
"…"
"I COMPLETELY FORGOT!"
Rumors of that are probably all over the school by now! Of course he's heard about it too!
But the question is… Just how bad is it?
I minimize the chat and scroll through my twitter feed.
"…"
O-oh no… Everyone…
Everyone's talking about it!!
"Gah! I messed up! I'm popular now so of course my relationships would be news! This is bad! Ahh, what should I do?! I can't lie to Jack and say the rumors are fake, it'd be too obvious! Maybe I should tell Jen that Chase and I broke up after all? Nooo, that would just make me seem easy if Jack and I suddenly hooked up right after! Plus, I might not even be able to find the courage to talk to him normally! But then so what? Do I really wanna be stuck pretend dating Chase for the rest of high school? Even if he did help me out a bit, he's still a disgusting nerd so there's no way I should keep this charade up for much longer. But how much longer should I keep it up for? A day? A week? A month? What if Jack loses interest and finds someone else by then? Ahh this is all so complicated!"
As I ponder all of this aloud someone bangs at my door violently.
"Shut up in there Scarlet! Your father's watching TV and you're making a racket!"
"L-leave me alone mom! I'm having a crisis over here!"
I take a deep breath and try to calm myself.
In the end, all I can do is tell the truth, huh?
"Goddammit!"
"Stop swearing this instant! Do you want me to open that door?!"
"Eek! I'm sorry!"
I let it slip out… I've been trying not to swear like that because it isn't cute. I guess my entire demeanor just falls apart when things don't go my way, huh?
"Haaa…"
I rub my temple in frustration as I stare down at the message.
Well, this is it, I guess.
The end of the fairy tale romance that could have been my first romantic endeavor. The one I'd been so eager to make something out of.
That just goes to show that being popular won't make me a different person. No matter how much I try to fake it, I'm still the same old passive Scarlet.
I sigh and begin typing out my message.
"Yeah, we're dating."
That should do it. Short and simple.
I hover my finger over the send button while double checking that everything is okay.
"Wait, maybe I can just tell him it was a prank."
Of course not Scarlet, you idiot!
What has to be done must be done, and so I hit the send button.
"…"
"….."
"Why did it have to happen like this?! What the hell what the hell what the hell what the hell what the hell?!"
I cover my face with my pillow and haphazardly roll around in my bed.
Come on, Scarlet! You should've thought this through!
This is hopeless, I can't believe I already messed up in such a hilariously awful way. I'm gonna be completely depressed tomorrow.
It's probably best for me to get some rest. I don't think any home-work or studying is going to get done at this rate.
Goodbye Liam Hemsworth. It was a short ride, but I'll miss you and your amazing jawline.
"…"
"Unless…"