Ramuja was sitting solemnly on the ground, he was waiting for his Milord to come back after the Winter Feast. He was in a sullen mood, 'Now that Milord had known everything, I guess I really have no way to lie to him.'
'Maybe he will recover his memory after the Winter Feast, he didn't faint when he saw me kissing Merry.'
'Everything is unsalvageable, huh?' Ramuja chuckled lightly, 'For once, I thought I could hide everything from Milord and let him live in a bubble. Because I don't want to lose him, I don't want to lose this illusion of happiness.'
"Ramuja, you are ridiculous. You wanted to lie to someone that you loved the most, and you wanted to lie about your adultery. Do you really have the guts to say that you love him now?" Ramuja said to himself.
'When I said it's okay for you to kill me, I really mean it, Milord. But when I think about it again, I guess it will hurt, a little, in my heart.'
