Hayri took her to the nearest seafront restaurant. Though all throughout their time in the shipyard they were facing the sea, inhaling its crisp and salty breeze, the ambiance of the restaurant was totally different. There were trees by the shoreline, the sand was pristine - white and the moon could be seen clearly as it sailed through the grey horizon.
Classic love songs was played on the background and the romantic atmosphere brought back the sweet memories Allie had with Ajie. What could he be doing now? Could he be also in a dinner with Dr. Jane? These thoughts brought her so much pain again as her memories ran from the good times they had together, down to those photos and videos Andrew sent her.
She felt the depth of her loneliness again, of being hurt by his betrayal and his lies, of being away in a foreign country, and of being away from her daughter. She would miss the great part of her growth and development, of her formative years where she should have been there to witness and guide her through it all. She would miss the time where she would learn to make her first step, the time she would first clap her hands in response to the nursery rhymes and the time she would learn the alphabet and its phonetics. These were just few of the many things she would miss and sacrifice for the sake of wanting to live. She could only hope that by the time she would be free, her daughter could understand and forgive her.
With all these in her mind, she didn't realize that she got lost in her thoughts again and tears slipped down from her eyes. Hayri just watched and waited until the waiter came in with their orders and interrupted her.
"Eat first. " Hayri said as he placed some foods into her plate.
Coming back to her senses, she smiled at him and apologized.
"Thanks, Hayri, and I'm sorry. I just miss home. "
Hayri smiled back. "I understand, I also miss home. Only that, I'll never have a home again. "
"What do you mean? " Allie grabbed the opportunity to dig into his story again.
"I'm an only child, Zheena. And as I have told you, mom passed away when I was five years old. "
"Now that dad is serving a life sentence, how can I have a home again? "
Allie understood his pain very well. Because of this, she didn't know how to comfort him. How could she ease his pain away when she was the one causing it?
"Hayri, If only I could share your pain...But I hope that you will start seeing the good side of it. It's maybe painful and unacceptable as of the moment but this is the only way to set you free. "
Hayri looked up and nailed his gaze on her. "And what do you mean? "
"Hayri, try to see the bigger picture. How many lives are wasted because of drugs? How many lives are broken? How many wives and children are suffering because of domestic violence? How many children are destroying their future even before their dreams are made?"
"Hayri, these should be stopped. Somebody should be a hero to stop all these. What good is there in a world full of chaos and violence? "
"Take this as a challenge to yourself. Continue building the fame and success your dad has established. Instead of destroying your future with hatred and anger, do the other better way around. Make him proud of you. "
Hayri smiled sardonically. "It's not as easy as you say it, Zheena. "
"I know but start making a step one at a time until you will make it. "
"Help me, then... " He reluctantly conceded but he knew Allie was right.
"Let's start tonight. "
___
At about twelve midnight later, Allie went inside Hayri's room. They both agreed to set their alarm clock at this time every night and every five in the morning. Hayri was fighting off his drowsiness but he sat up anyway. Allie picked up his phone then clicked on a certain meditational video on You Tube . With an ear set ready, she gave out an instruction before they played the video together.
The soothing and relaxing piano instrumentals was totally a different music Hayri was being used to. It was so lonely like the sea in the midst of the dark night. It pierced deeply into his heart that all of a sudden, its loneliness crept into his being. He thought about his father and all those happy times they shared together. He thought about the pain when he saw him cuffed and brought to the prison cell. He heard again his advises to take a different path and stay away from the hell he was plunged in. He recalled him saying to refrain from anger and revenge but create an honorable life instead...
He did not know that while he closed his eyes with these thoughts playing on, his tears rushed down without restraints. And in the next moment, he was already sobbing his heart out and Allie could not again help herself but pull him into a comforting hug.
___
When their phones alarmed again at five in the morning, Allie went inside Hayri's room again. She chose another set of meditational music.
"Hayri, this time, picture out in your mind the lives of the children and the youth enslaved with drugs..."
Hayri nodded and minutes after, he saw them all in his mind. Together with the music which echoed into the walls of his heart, the horrible scenes of killing, violence and strife were played in his mind. And all of these wickedness happened because of drugs. Suddenly, just as the music had played the climax of its finale, it was also screaming in his heart the message of change.