If it's observing humans I could watch them but I could not understand human feelings and mind. Even if I gain Emotion over these past Eons I could still not understand humans fully. After all I don't have something humans have. I should have that if I wanted to but there is this empty feeling inside my consiousness It's plain white there is no a single speck of tint. Outside I could be anything I wanted but Inside I am empty.
Humans can have both, They can become super kind outside but inside they are completely dark. But if that person recieve enlightenment, He or she can change the dark into light. But for me, I could not do that.
I am a Creator. This is the only message I got after I existed. I don't throughly know who I am and what kind of existense I am. Everytime I wanted to ask what am I, A message will pop up inside me "You are a creator, You are responsible of creating objects"
I understand and didn't at the same time. I understand my purpose is to create things but when time passes I feel empty, I was just like an Artificial Intelligence that humans created, It only activate when commanded and only works according to it's command and data.
These is what I was experiencing when I did not have my emotions. I only got my emotions when I created my first intelligent living creature known as human, well there other living who are smart enough but they don't have what humans have.
The more I watched Humans, The more excited I become. Yes the very first Emotion I got is being excited. I was marvelled by humans capabilities, They are truly mysterious living creature I made.
When the first humans I created became Extinct, I thought of creating Living the same as humans, I made a strong ones, Smart ones and various types of livings. But they are incomplete and failure in the end, They don't have what humans have. I was really puzzled. What made humans different from the creatures I made even though I made them both?
That is why I don't understand humans even now. Because every humans in the world seems different, Their thoughts are different, Personality and character are different. Their mind change constantly. They are weird and Confusing creature I made.
Look, When I made Elves and dwarfs, These creature havr only one thing in their minds. For dwarves, They only want to create strong weapons and cool technologies and for elves, They only thought taking care of the world tree and nature, Their hearts is pure and untainted.
But for Humans, They can be anything they want. Do anything they want and Set different goals in life. Honestly, I'm not different from humans. I could be anything, do anything I want and set goals too, It's just something is missing for me. I cannot describe what it is.
I want to understand humans. This is only my goal inside my mind. If only I could become a human and understand myself as a hu- Hmm? Yeah right? why could I not think about that....
Wait a minute, But I became a human too in the first generation of humans And it's the same. I'm still empty inside. When I became a human, I built a human body and wander around Earth, Living in Earth and acted like a human at that time. In the End I only acted and inside is still plain white.
After Thinking and Contemplating for many many years I still could not grasp the answer. I want to give up and just live as a creator is what I'm thinking at last. I'm deppressed is what my emotions told me.
I looked at the last container beside me, This container contains the soul of my very first believer. After I send her soul in this world, I will Continue my responsibility.....
I stared dumbly at the container more precisely the soul. How could I forget about this. I watched humans for Eons but I unconsiously ignore the critical part. I'm so dumb. The answer is just right beside me but I ignored it like a pebble beside gravel. For millions of years I watched humans born and die. When Humans die their souls would be sent to heaven or something what they call but I know what is happening when they die. The souls would be sent to the new born human. It is the humans cycle of life. Other race also have souls but their souls won't be mixed with human souls. For example Elves soul would be sent to the World tree instead of heaven. You could say when Elves die their souls won't reincarnate again but became one with the World tree. Other race also have their own styles of soul society.
Every souls society from other races except for humans Existed already, What I mean is unlike humans whose soul society is self created the other race isn't. When I created other races, A soul society would form. Human's soul society is formed by humans. Because of Humans amazing Imaginative minds with a speck of my power in them they could make fictional thing to exist.
As a creator, I'm only an Existense. I don't have souls because I don't follow the concept of life and death. I existed because I should Exist. It's a complicated answer but that is really it.
So, what I lack is a soul....The problem now is how to become a soul or get a soul. This is a big problem, I don't know where to start. Because when I create Livings, They would have souls. At first I thought it's because of my power. You are wondering why I don't know even though I created them right?
When creating. I think of shape, Structures, Purpose of existing. Like when creating plants, when I make plants the shapes of the plant, Growth of plants, Cells of plants, Veins of plants, Effects of plants, Function of plants, Taste and Texture of plants. These things automatically be processed and my consiousness will be in trance. After that Information of the plants flows into my consiousness. But I don't really what is happening when in processing, I only felt I was possessed by Something I don't know. It feels like it's me at the same time not.
Even though when creating I'm in full control of myself the result of creation is what I Imagine to be. While there are other part I don't know. It's the spirit and souls. Spirit of Animals and Plants and souls of intelligent species.
To create souls I need to understand what is soul first. I need to study what is soul and it's functions. Lastly, I need many years to complete this study.
Time skip.... 20 years later, for me it's just a blink of an eye and It felt it's only 20 minutes in human perspective.
With many trials and errors over this past 20 minu- years, I finally create a souls for me. It's different from the souls of humans and others. Human soul is white, Elves is light green, dwarves is Light brown, Demons is grey and etc. The souls of mine is like galaxy. Normal soul type cannot bear my existence it will disintegrated. This soul of mine can bear my existense.
Hahaha finally I will understand what it is to be a human. Then let's create a body. But, I made a mistake. Why? Because everytime I create a human body, I made it strong that could able to handly my existence. If I enter the world Atlas, I could not enter the world. Why? because I made a system that can read an individual's power. I didn't set foot inside Atlas when I completed it and I realize it just now.
If its a soul then it can enter because soul is not counted by the system I created. If you are thinking, Why not rewriting the system. It's troublesome and Time consuming. I made the world for billions of years and finally completed it. I don't want another billions of years. Because when writing a system I need to perfect it. Because an incomplete system is terrible. I don't want Imperfection and failure. I'm a perfectionist. When I'm creating failure I would make it perfect but as they say there is not such thing as perfecf. True, Even my so called perfect system, Humans saw a loophole to it.
Honestly, Instead of creating powerful body from the start why not starts at the beginning. I mean I'm strong from the beginning, I don't know what is weak and powerless. It's not like I want to be weak or powerless. I just want to feel being complete normal. Well for me being strong is normal, I mean being a normal human.
Enough with blabber lets just get started.
Ah I forgot to send the last soul, Well. How about going together down there.
I focused my consiousness on the floating galaxy like soul and I feel being pulled over in it. When I enter, I feel different from my normal self. It's like being newly born. I feel walking inside a new world. This feeling is amazing compared to my normal self.
I cant still use my creation ability. Okay now enough with that. Let's go! I entered the world atlas with the soul of my first believer.
I forgot another thing. Bodyless soul is different than a Soul fragment. Bodyless soul is for the new born humans. If a bodyless soul enters the world it would be forcefully sucked into a soulless newbown baby. So when I enetered the world, My soul and my first believer soul flies side by side, I can't control myself and can only be forced to still. After an hour of flying we arrived to our destination, There a two newborn babies lying side by side inside a big basket. I sae a marvelous beautiful baby girl and an ordinary baby boy. Poor guy, He was dwarved by the girl beside him...
Then our souls approached the two babies, I thought I would enter the beautiful baby girl but I was wrong. I was forcefully sucked by the body of the ordinary baby boy and my first believer got the beautiful baby girl. Wait! This is not its should be. I should be the one in there not this stinking ordinary baby... Unknown to me, When I said I want to become a normal human. I unconsciously dug my own grave.
By the way, as a creator I don't have what you call gender. But today, My first gender is a male.