"You remember the plan right?"
"Yes, I remember. I'm not an idiot."
"Yes, you are! I knew you'd forget, the whole plan hinges you pretending to be a dumb monster I tamed."
"Again, I remember. And if you ask me just one more time I'll drag your sorry ass kicking and screaming back to the cave."
< Well, you are the one who came up with this plan. >
Shut up Patty.
We were at the wall of the town Saltwater Clearing about to seek admittance into one of the gates.
After discussing it with Flora I decided to pretend to be the tamed pet Flora
'Heroically tamed to survive the dungeon for a week alone ', because the townsfolk would believe that heap of bullshit over
'Hey guys, not all monsters are bad. This one saved my life.'
After the cart in front of us got waved through, Flora ran up to the guard.
"Call off the searches, for I have returned.
Yes, I know you are wondering how I survived a whole week alone. And I will tell you the tale once I've got food in my belly, you're buying right?"
"Who are you?"
"Wha....wha...what? Who am I? I'm the great Flora Dreyas! The greatest prodigy to grace this dunghole of a town. I'm from the great Dreyas family of Xalminth, my elder brother was the great hero who killed a three hundred foot boath and saved the city Kilmire."
What a long drawn out way of saying I'm a rich girl from a rich and important family, get out of my way.
"Who?"
I had to hold my face still, while inside I was laughing my scaly ass off.
"How dare you disrespect a member of the Dreyas family, I'll have you fired and thrown out of town for this!"
Gee, I wonder who could possibly hate her enough to try to kill her.
"Well, that would be a very hard thing to do, seeing as you'd have to be allowed into the town first."
This guy just gets better and better.
< You know if she isn't allowed entry, neither are you. >
Shut up Patty.
Stop trying to ruin my day.
"And why do you have a lizard following you?"
"That's the lizard I tamed inside the dungeon to carry all of my burdens, when all my party members died."
"You tamed a lizard all by yourself without the help of a beast master? Riiight."
What the hell! Flora said they'd believe this story.
"You dare to doubt my veracity?"
"Yes, I thought I implied that when I said riiight."
"Geoff, shift change."
A brawny man with greying blonde hair came walking up from out of the gate.
"Why are these travelers holding up the line?"
He was pointing at us.
"Well, you see..."
The brawny man did a face palm.
"Don't tell me you're holding up traffic just to fuck with people again. You know you've been warned about this."
"It's their own fault, they give us twelve- hour shifts with nothing to do but twiddle our thumbs. I didn't join the guard to watch the same losers come in and go out the same damn gate till they die, where's a good bandit raid when you need it."
The old guard put his hand on the young guy's shoulder.
"I know kid, you would've loved to be an adventurer, but your skills ain't suited for that field."
What did they forget about us?
"Hello, I'm still waiting to go past."
"Oh, sorry ma'am go ahead."
We went inside the gate, while the older guard was still trying to cheer up Geoff.
__________________
Saltwater was a town nearing a population to be considered a city. Originally the first settlers came because of the great underground saltwater aquifer, they'd pump up the water and using evaporation turn it into salt to sell.
Then, fifty years ago my dungeon formed, and the town received a boost in population. Adventurers came first then all those that come along the tails of adventurers : merchants, blacksmiths, beast masters, mercenaries, bandits, etc.
Because of this everyone is crammed together until the wall gets extended.
Wagons being pulled by horses and other beasts rolled past stands full of people selling anything they could think of.
People rushing to and fro, cursing each other out when they didn't get out of the way fast enough.
Ah! The buzz of civilization, I didn't realize how much I had missed it.
"If you're done sight-seeing, we have to sell these mana hearts to get the funds needed for my gear."
She means our gear.
"Didn't you just say to that guard that you were rich?"
"No, I said I came from a great family. And even though we are rich, I can't access those funds at the moment."
"Why not?"
"I'm not telling you."
"Why you ...you know all of my shit! And I can ..."
"Make me I know, Patty told me. But please don't, I'm not ready to talk about that."
While she was saying this, she was looking at the ground in embarrassment.
"Well, it's not like we're friends or anything, we're just a party. Personal shit is personal shit."
"Thank you."
She barely whispered as we walked into a side alley.
While we were walking I thought of a question I just had to ask.
"If you can't access your money, how did you pay your guards?"
"Simple, I didn't."
"What?"
"I told them their pay was being invested in a new mine being built and it would quadruple their pay, and any mana hearts or other drops we earned in the dungeon they got ten percent."
"So, you were ripping them off."
"It was their own fault for being so stupid."
We stopped in front of a shabby door.
"Where are we?"
"Jungo's place."
"Who's Jungo?"
"The best person to sell your wares to. He doesn't have to pay the abnormally expensive taxes in the region and passes on those savings to his customers."
"So, in other words he illegally doesn't pay taxes, so he can poach customers. You of course know this cause you're entering via a back alley entrance."
"I thought you wanted good armor? Well, we need money for that, and those con artists at those legal shops take around eighty percent because of ' royal taxes'."
"Fine, I'll follow your lead."
"Yeah, and don't be weirded out if he tries to buy you."
She went inside before I could respond.
If you're wondering how we carried our mana hearts and other drops, it's simple, when I will Flora into my gem anything on her body gets pulled in too. So, we just loaded a backpack full of stuff.
The inside of the shop was lined with selves filled with gems, weapons, pelts, potions, mana hearts, and a bunch of other weird shit I didn't know.
"Jungo, your favorite customer has returned."
A big asian guy came out of a
door behind the counter.
"Mother as my witness, Flora it is you. I thought you died getting willingly fucked to death by an orc."
"How did that rumor get started?! I made sure I killed all of those rat bastards."
"Boccon was my son-in-law."
"If you liked him, you wouldn't have sent him my way."
"True, want can I do for you?"
"Glad you asked, how much can I get for these?"
She upended the backpack onto the counter.
"I'll give you fifty copper a piece for the miraj horns, three silver each for the low-grade mana hearts, a single gold for each high-grade heart, and thirty gold for the lizard."
"Are you kidding? He's worth at least two fifty."
"Grrr"
I growled to let her know what I thought of her trying to sell me.
"Uh, I mean he isn't for sale."
"Well, what do you think of that lizard? You want to stay with her?"
"Why are you asking my tame anything? He's just a dumb animal."
"Flora please, in all the time we've been doing business have I come across as an idiot?"
Well, I guess the lizard's out of the bag.
"How did you know I wasn't just a tame?"
"Sweet Mother, so you do talk.
As for why I knew you weren't a tame, it's because I know Flora.
She has and always will be a complete asshole to everyone that breathes around her, she would never carry her own shit.
Plus you got that glint in your eye telling me you ain't falling for her shit, which tells me you're intelligent - maybe if Boccon had that glint he'd still be here - which is why I assumed you could talk. All of this was just guess-work until you confirmed it."
"Just because one is intelligent, doesn't mean it can speak your language."
"True, but if you and Flora are working together, and she didn't forcefully tame you it means you came to some sort of deal. Ergo you can speak at least the common tongue."
Not what happened at all, but it works.
"Very astute."
"Well, I'm glad both of you are buddies now, but let's get real Jungo. We both know one gold per high-grade heart is bullshit, you are just gonna turn around and sell them for at least sixty gold a piece."
"Once again true, but as it turns out I have to support my recently widowed daughter and her kids. How is the investment my late son-in-law made doing?"
"It's still in the developmental stage, they're just getting all the permits in order. So, one gold per sounds very fair... for now, considering Boccon idiotically didn't have a contingency plan for his family if he didn't return.
Please do tell Anellia that Mother works in mysterious ways, and that it will all work out."
Damn she a good liar, she pulled a three sixty on a dime.
I was about leave the rest of the conversation to Flora, when a glowing sword caught my eye.
"Mr. Jungo what type of sword is that? And how much does it cost?"
"He doesn't know about Dalian swords?!?!"
"Jungo, he is a lizardman, he literally lived in a cave."
"Of course, I just get awestruck when someone's never heard of Dalian swords. As for your questions, Dalian swords - like their name implies - are swords crafted by Dalians. Dalians are a race that comes from a group of islands to the west, they are master craftsmen; but what makes them really special is the fact that the men can imbue the weapons and armor they forge with the souls of fallen great warriors. This makes the forged item not only impossibly strong, but also gives you all of the warrior's skills. And as for price, if you have to ask you can't afford it."
"Why does everyone say that? You don't know if I'm just being financially sound."
"You're right, that is rather silly of me.
It costs two and a half plated shields."
I almost had a heart attack right then and there.
Currency here has four major denominations : copper
Silver = one hundred copper
Gold= one hundred silver
Plated shield = one million gold
So, the price he just said was two point five million gold.
"Well, at this particular time I'm just looking for a reliable blacksmith to buy specifically from. In fact, why don't you keep twenty of those gold coins and point us in a good direction."
Flora looked at me with vitriol in her eyes.
"There is nothing akin to a warrior and a good blacksmith. And of course someone with your vast wealth would only want the best and most expensive."
Shit,shit,shit,shit,shit,shit,shit,shit!
"But I implore you to instead go to the east end of town and seek out a blacksmith by the name Jack, he is a neophyte and therefore cheap, but his work is good."
Phew.
< You know he's just patronizing
you right?>
Yup, and I don't give a flying fuck.
But I do have a question I want answered.
"Don't get me wrong I'm grateful, but why are you being so nice to me? I might be intelligent, but I'm still an Akkedis - a monster that all of the non-monster races think is evil."
< Gee, that was smart. Ask the guy in the shop full of weapons why he's helping an evil creature. >
Shut up Patty.
"Well, how I see it I've been an adventurer who has grave robbed, killed monsters, killed numerous other races, went to prison, went to war against a race I knew was innocent, and the list goes on.
So, after all of that, who am I to call anyone or thing evil, if you can sleep at night I think you're good enough. Besides, if you were a danger, Flora would have already found a way to kill you."
"Can we get on with this transaction? I want to leave this shop before sunset."
I nodded my thanks to Jungo and went back to window shopping, until Flora was done.
_________________
Fortyish minutes later we were in east end looking for Jack the blacksmith. In total after giving twenty gold away we still had twenty-six gold, hopefully that was enough to buy two decent sets of armor and weapons.
"Flora!!!!!"
We both turned towards the voice that yelled Flora's name. Headed towards us was a blonde warrior woman wearing armor that looked like a hoodie with metal scales on it, bracers, shin guards, and a huge sword strapped to her back.
"You should be dead."
"Yeah, if the assassins you hired were any good - they weren't."
The knight smiled.
"I don't know what you're saying. I would never hire anyone to kill you, it's against the adventurers code of conduct."
Flora also started smiling.
"Of course not, after all we all know gong farmers don't have the acumen to come up with a plan like this."
The knight put her hand on her sword's hilt.
"What did you just call me?"
Flora laughed.
"Jurea which one do you want me to repeat? The one where I called you stupid, or where I called you what you really are."
Jurea's grip tightened.
"You bitch!"
Around this time a crowd had gathered around us.
"Such language, I guess it can only be expected from shit farmers like yourself."
Are you kidding me? Flora out does anyone else I know for having a potty mouth.
In the blink of an eye Jurea unsheathed her sword and swung it downwards at Flora's head.
Instantaneously I pulled Flora back, while putting my arm up activating the crystal scale trick I learned in the forest, hoping it would stop her sword.
Clang!!!!!
Crack!!!!!
Not only did it stop the sword, but dozens of cracks appeared on the blade.
"Her sword broke from only hit!"
(Random Joe)
"Not only that, it was from a lizardman's scales! Those things are so weak I could kill them, and I'm only a first tier of Low- rank."
(Random Jane)
"Yeah, how pathetic can you possibly be?"
(Random Joe)
At this time Flora started laughing again.
"I guess you never should have tried to be something you're not. You should just go back to what your family does best, cleaning the shit off the streets."
She really makes protecting her hard.
"I'll kill you!!!"
Judea charged at Flora with her broken sword.
I grabbed her sword hand with my left hand, and knocked her into the dirt with my right.
"Ha! You all saw that! She went down with one hit from a lizaaaa.....ahh."
I pulled her away from the crowd and ran.
_____________________
A few minutes later we were in another alley.
"Why the hell did you do that?!"
"You antagonized her."
"She tried to have me killed!"
"Gee, I wonder why?"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"That you treat everyone like shit, and then wonder why everyone is out to get you."
"I only treat people as their station in life demands. She comes from a family of shit cleaners, the only reason she's an adventurer is because she has a powerful ability. Me even talking to her is an action that deserves her gratitude."
I just started to walk away.
"Why are you walking away from me?"
"Cause I can't deal with you right now."
____________________
Fifteen minutes later we were entering a shop called A Craftsman's pride.
All around us was finished and semi- finished forged items.
We saw Jack by a table carving intricate designs onto a leaf shaped blade of a sword - think xiphos sword.
Jack was a light skinned black dude, that was muscular but not heavily so, bald, covered in silk clothes with a heavy leather apron, but what really struck out was the short pointy ears he had.
"What do y'all want?"
He asked us without looking up.
"We've come to buy equipment. Before we do, why is a Dalian selling his wares so cheap?"
Flora was gonna do all the talking, after all she was familiar with this town.
"If you must know I can't use the ability my kind are famed for, but I still out do most other blacksmiths."
"I see, you will do. Can we see your selection?"
He finally looked up from carving and stared Flora straight in the eye.
"No."
"Why not? We have the money."
"It's not about the money. You really don't remember me, do you Flora?"
Oh shit.
"Um..."
Oh my fucking God! Jungo just said his name was Jack.
"Let me remind you, I'm Jack. Months ago you came in here to buy armor for your guards."
Why do I get the feeling I know where this is going.
"After I fitted them you told me you had forgotten your money back at your inn room, only you never came back. I could forgive the theft, but to ensure you got away with your crime you called the town guard on me. You lied and said I made faulty equipment, it took them weeks for them to completely vet my shop. But even though I was cleared no one would trust my work anymore."
Flora why?
"So, what I'm hearing is you need our business."
Fuck you Flora!
"Get out."
"I'm sorry for my party member, but I would have you know I'm nothing
like that."
"It talks?"
"Yes, I do, and as for what she did we are willing to pay back-pay, whatever is left of our money we will use for our new equipment."
"I never agre... ouch!"
Before Flora could ruin what I said, I toe stomped her.
"Even though I'm surprised by the fact you can talk and by your apparent honor, my answer is still no."
Well, looks like we'll have to find another blacksmith.
"It was nice meeting you, and I'm serious about the back-pay. Just tell me the price and I'll pay what I have."
Flora gave me a dirty look.
She then looked intently at Jack, until a look of recognition appeared on her face.
"I couldn't help but notice your necklace."
Why was Flora talking about jewelry? We need to back-pay then find another blacksmith.
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that a fertility necklace Dalian mothers give their daughters on their sixteenth birthday?"
"Yes, but the reason I have one is because it's the last thing of my mother's."
"I'm sorry to hear that, Flora let's go."
"That's indeed a sad story. I guess we will be going."
Finally!
I was about to remind Flora to give me the money to pay Jack, when she cast a spell.
"{Eye of the moon reveal what's hidden}."
All of Jack's clothes disappeared, and considering the two breasts he suddenly grew I'm guessing he was in fact a she.
"What's going on?"
"What's going on is we've hit the jackpot. "
"What?"
"Blackmail, glorious blackmail."
"Uh....."
"He is really a she, and it is illegal for Dalian women to forge. Ergo we get free stuff for life."
"Wait, why is it illegal? Are they that bad at it?"
Flora hit me.
"Stop being sexist."
< Yeah, just because you can say something mean doesn't mean you have to. >
Really Patty, shut up!
"I wasn't, it was just a question."
"Whatever, we're just lucky Jack there forgot to wear that gold choker she wore last time I saw her."
"My name is Emira, and I won't be blackmailed by an upstart bitch."
"You're forgetting your place all ready, we own you now. One trip to a guard and you'll be lucky if all they do is stone you out of town."
Jack ....I mean Emira picked up the sword she was engraving.
"I'd like to see you try."
Flora lifted her hands, ready to let spells fly.
I stood between them hands outstretched.
"Can everybody just stop? No one is blackmailing anybody, and for the love of God can someone tell me why any idiot would make it illegal for a Dalian woman to forge?"
J....Emira - dammit - put the sword down gently.
"Do you know of the ability Dalian men have?"
"Yes."
"Well, the women's ability is similar, but instead of putting a soul into the work we create a whole new conscience. "
"So, the object becomes sentient? That's awesome."
"I wish more people were like you, but there is an off-chance the object will turn evil and kill its owner so ...."
"So, they banned the women from forging, and what do you mean we aren't blackmailing her? She was the moron who got herself exposed, I'm within my rights to take advantage."
"Well, I don't give a fuck about that, we are not gonna be the scum that benefits from blatant oppression."
Flora crossed her arms and squinted her eyes at me.
"Lizard you are weird, but I like you. I still don't like you."
"See if I care."
"Thank you Emira, how much do we owe you?"
"Flora owes me seven hundred silver, but you owe me nothing."
"Sorry, we're kind of a package deal."
"Well, I'm sorry for you then."
"Short ears! Some assholes broke my sword, if you don't want to get your ass kicked again you better fix it fast and for free."
(Jurea)
Jurea came bursting through the door, only stopping when she noticed us.
"It's you! The damn lizard who embarrassed me!"
"Hey, there's no reason to overreact now, is there?"
I started walking backwards - damn you Anavotis and my bad luck - when I bumped into the table I put my hands down to steady myself. Unfortunately Emira is not a tidy worker and a hammer was half on half off the table, I promptly hit the handle causing the hammer to fly towards Jurea. She deftly dodged out of the way.
"Trying to hit me unawares again? That won't happen a second tim.....guh."
Her sentence was interrupted because the hammer she dodged hit the handle of a war-hammer - that was also hanging off the edge - causing it to fly and hit her in the back of her head knocking her out.
Well, damn.
< You have defeated an enemy at least twenty levels your senior. You are now level sixteen. >
< Ability 'Party Leader ' has been upgraded to ' Forced Conscription '. Would you like to use ' Forced Conscription' on Jurea? >
Hell . Fucking. Yes.