Chereads / God among Bugs (on hiatus) / Chapter 15 - Flying spaghetti monster

Chapter 15 - Flying spaghetti monster

After Larry set the food on the table everyone sat down to eat. Mike bowed his head and started praying silently, while he was praying everyone else stayed quiet just to be respectful to there friend once he lifted his head Larry spread his arms wide "Oh flying spaghetti monster in the sky I humbly offer these mortals to your noodly coil so that I can feast upon thy flesh."

"Haha very funny man you know if I was Catholic I'd be hitting you with a rosary right now" Mike has long since gotten used to Larry ragging on him about his religious inclinations and stopped caring long ago. "Hey man I'm just covering my bases besides you're the one who told me that the Bible says not to judge your fellow man based on his beliefs or humors".

"Yeah it says that but that's not a free ride to do whatever you want, you're just lucky as a Calvanist I'll try my best to make sure you can get wherever I go when we die" Tom looks up from his plate and wipes sauce from his face. "You honestly gonna put in a good word for him? I'd save that lucky ticket for someone special if I were you."

Before Mike could say anything Mari butts in "No one is as 'Special' as Larry Tom.. he needs all the help he can get." "Hey I'm special but not that way.. and thanks Mike I'll make sure too look out for you in the afterlife too" "Sorry Larry but I'm pretty sure all you could get me is a hotter seat in Hell but I appreciate the thought" Mike replies causing Tom to choke for a second.

"Ok no making people laugh while they eat I'm gonna be pissed if this is my last supper" "Why? I heard dying as a virgin can get you reborn as a sage in your next life.." Larry says only to have Tom stare him down "If you don't wanna die five minutes after making a pledge to your new God I would shut up now... and stop reading all of those manga they'll rot the little bit of brain you have".

"Dude your the one who got me on to slime tensai" Tom sighs "And we all regret it anyways good job on the food man" "Yeah it's really good Larry" Mari says while swirling a large ball of noodles onto her fork. "No problemo Mari hope you don't mind all the dishes it dirtied to make it" Larry says while smirking causing Mari to pause just before she bit into her food.

"Why did you have to remind me... can we do rock paper scissors?" "Oh no you lost fair and square just accept your fate." As Tom teases Mari Mike's phone rings. "Yes sir?.. oh ok yes sir I'll get Tom to bring me in a minute were eating right now.. understood I'll be home soon, yes sir love you too Dad, bye."

"Hey man I gotta go, dad wants me to lead youth group tonight and said I need to come home to get my stuff organized." "well guess I'll bum a ride now too" Larry says between bites as he shovels his food down his throat.

"Alright I'll go warm up the car, Mari you ready?" "Nah I'll clean up and Snoop around the house while you guys are gone." Tom pauses before he opens the front door. "Nope not gonna happen get in the car, I'll do the dishes".

Mari huffs and starts complaining. "Your seriously gonna kick a girl out before she can take a shower" Not knowing what to do Tom just scratches his neck and walks out to crank up his jeep grand Cherokee. After turning the key to the on position his radio kicked to life blasting Metallica's Four horsemen at Max volume.

"D@mn!t!!! Larry your an @$$hole.." Tom mumbled to himself as he turned the volume down and cranked his car up. He only has to wait for a few minutes before Mike and Larry walk out the door with their bookbags and jump inside. Mike is sitting shotgun while Larry sits in the middle of the back seat one hand on each of the front seats leaning forward to say "Your wife is getting shower fresh for you dude".

"Go F∆ck yourself man we aren't dating" Tom replied as he throws his car in gear and spins out in the driveway causing Larry to whip back into his seat and latch his seat belt. As they roll down the road Tom switches CDs to Pantera's cowboys from Hell, and the three of them begin singing along to the title track. After a few minutes Mike leans over and turns the volume down as they get close to his house. "I seriously don't wanna get into that debate with my old man sorry guys" ""It's cool"" Tom and Larry reply.

As they drop Mike off his dad opens the front door and comes out to the jeep. "Did you boys have fun this weekend?". ""Yes Mr Schulz"". "That's good to hear will you be making it to Mikey's debut?" Larry Answered first "I wouldn't miss it Sir, but out of curiosity what do I call Mike during the youth group? Junior pastor? or young Reverend?" Mike stares daggers at Larry from behind his father while Mr Schulz replied "haha neither of those Larry just Mike will work".

Some how Larry has everyone's parents fooled into thinking he's not capable of sarcasm or they think he's an idiot either way they never think he's being rude. "What about you Tom?". "I'll try my best to make it Sir but I may be unable to attend.."

Mike's father raises an eyebrow. "And why is that?" "Well sir my Jeep has been acting kinda funny and I plan on tearing the head down to see what the problem is, I don't want my only ride breaking on me while dad's out of town, but if it's ok with you I'll get Larry or Mike to stream the meeting for me so I can ask any questions I may have?".

"Well it's not quite the same as being there but I can understand and sure I don't see a problem with that, we could also record it so I can go over it with Mikey later." Mike's face turns pale as they turn around to head inside.

"You're seriously going?" Tom says as he looks at Larry whom switched over to shotgun. "of course dude I give him a hard time and all but I'm still his friend. what's wrong with the jeep?" "It started rattling after you bring it over 4,000 RPM, I think it's just getting old but I wanna make sure if I can fix it."

"Alright man.. Soo you and Mari really aren't dating right?" "We may be soon but no not yet". As they go down the road a little ways Tom pulls into Larry's drive way and drops him off. "See you later dude." Larry waves as he goes into his house.

After getting back to his house Tom opens his door and SPLAT he gets a face full of spaghetti... "It's the flying spaghetti monster!!!!" Mari screamed in fake horror while laughing so hard she starts crying.