I woke up to the sounds of machines running and beeping, on a repeated basis. I only scan my surroundings, to realized I've only been put back in my room. Confusion only comes back to mock me in the face.
There was so much blood.. how did I survive?
"I see your awake."
Valentino is sitting at the side of my bed, looking like a zombie of his former self. He looks horrible. Almost smiled to see him, but I stopped myself, remembering why I was in this bed in the first place.
I questioned him "How am I alive?.." he saddens at my question "I almost lost you, Bella. If Lucca didn't act fast—and if Nic didn't call the family doctor. YOU.. would have died." He turns away from me but he continued "You'll be free to go after you heal. You won't have to stay here anymore or worry about my family interfering with your life.. You lost the baby.."
I lost the baby?...
I slowly got up, leaning my body against the bed head. I stared at his back for a moment, taking in the moment of what he said. The moment was bitter and still but it held a lot of pain. However, I was free to go after I heal up..
I wanted to feel okay with this but I felt I lost something. Something special.
I tightened my hands into fists and looked at them turn white as snow "We weren't ready to be parents, Valentino.." he chuckled sorrowful "Will you tell that to yourself, while you try to sleep, every night for the rest of your life?" his response sent daggers through me. It felt cold coming from him. I was so use to always being loved by him but this felt different.. He felt different. Almost broken.
"Don't do that. Don't make me the bad guy when clearly that's not my point here."
He snapped his body to face me, angry "There is no point! You hate me so much to the point you wanted to take your own life—" I cut him off "I told you to let me go." He counters back "You were pregnant—" I glared at him "While I made it clear that I didn't want it! This isn't my fault! And it's now, thanks to you. I'll have to live with that!" He looks at me, unable to say anything. He turns his back on me again, only having me be able to look at the cold and distance space surrounding him. It was clear he was already pulling away from me. It didn't occur to me that it would have happened this quickly.. The distance that I craved so much, was now being given to me. I should be happy but why did it feel so wrong inside?
"Two weeks." he says.
I turn my head towards the window "What?" He continued "It'll take two weeks for the wound to start the healing process. And it'll take a month for it to heal completely—maybe even more.. So, your free to stay until you completely heal. It's up to you. But you won't be seeing me. If you choose to stay till then. You'll run everything by Lucca." and just like that, with his back turned he walked out the room.
I sat silently to myself for the past three weeks. And just like Valentino said; everything was ran through Lucca. I haven't seen or talked to him since the suicide attempt, and he hadn't bothered to reach out either. He made it clearly, he wasn't coming to see me but I guess considering I was so use to him coming back.. I didn't think this time would be any different.
I got angry and threw my pillow at the wall as Lucca walked it.
"Woah!" It missed him by an inch. He stares at me shocked and said with absolute concern "You don't like the pillows? I could get you news ones if you feel uncomfortable—" I cut him off "THATS NOT IT" I could feel the chill air settle in, as he takes me in.
He closes the door behind him, walking in to sit at the end of my bed. The weight of him and me made the bed lower and he looks at me with a tired look "What's really going on with you?"
I stayed silent for a moment, taking in the look on his face and focusing on his question. I mean, really? What was going on with me?
"... I don't know.. One minute I'm fine and the other, I'm throwing pillows at walls." He shifts his weight on the bed, uncomfortably "Could it be, because you haven't heard from Valentino?" I winced softly to myself. I didn't want to answer that question. I didn't want to feel like there was this void or missing piece within myself when he wasn't there.
"Don't Lucca.. Don't make me answer that."
He counter back "You should answer it. Never know, you may feel better after answering it out loud."
I didn't respond. I wasn't going to be psychoanalyze by him. He always does this.
He spoke again, but there was something different in his tone. Something I felt I could relate to.
"I understand you know—what your going through.. In your mind, I bet you think you got your heart all figured out and everything you want and need." I see a stillness in his face as he tightened his hands into balls "Bella.. we are humans. We never really, ever have everything figured out. We roll with the punches as the days come. We never truly know what we're doing until it's too late. This also goes for my brother. Valentino may look like he has it all figured out like he's looking at a map but he doesn't. He isn't this heartless, commander in chief. His heart was always somewhere else." he looks at me "Always looking for you." I shake my head "But, this is more than that now. Our love use to be innocent. Filled with a future of possibilities. But, that was all moved by the lies. I knew what he was. I knew what his future was going to be. I just never knew it would have been this dark and lonely.."
"You should tell him that." he says proudly but I can see that he didn't really believe I should. The silence around us was dyer but it was also comforting. Felt like, even though I was alone; At least I had Lucca to understand.
Lucca sighed "I think there is something I should tell you." I nod "Go on." Feeling the tension raising in the air he looks at me with pain "I spoke to the doctor before Valentino did.. I made him lie to Valentino about the baby.." shock ran down my spine, as the possibility of my baby still being alive was bought to me.
"I'm still pregnant..?"
"Yes."
"Why would would you do that?!" he covers my mouth quickly, so no one could hear me. I glared daggers at him but I felt he knew this would be my reaction because his eyes wasn't phased "Listen to me, Bella. I wanted you to have a choice. Anything that happens now, is entirely up to you. You either can choose to go or stay." He moves his hand away from my mouth "But the longer you stay, you put yourself at risk. I bought you time to heal and recover. But the longer you stay, you will start to show." I look at him, in complete awe. Here, a Falcone brother wanted to help me escape his world and he even lied to his own brother to do it.
"Lucca..do you understand what your doing—what you did?" he smiles "I think I have a pretty good idea. But, you can thank me later for it. We don't have much time." I questionably look at him "Much time for what?" he stares taking my hand into his "The doctor is only doing this as a favor to me but he won't lie again to keep this secret." he lets go of my hand and dug into his back pocket taking out two passports, two plane tickets, and a folded paper.
"What's that?" I asked him, worriedly. He looks at me and sighed "It's your ticket out of here. I already called your father and told him everything. He's at the airport waiting for you. These passports are your new identities. I got you two plane tickets to Georgia, Mystic Falls. I have some buddies over there that my family knows nothing about. They'll take care of you." He handed everything to me with the piece of paper "Show them that paper and they'll know what to do, to get you guys started on your new lives." He comes closer and whispers into my ears "I already have a car ready to take you to your destination. Get dressed and meet me outside." He gets up to leave but I stop him midway to through the door "How do I know this isn't just some trap?" He turns to face me with a smile "I have no reasons to keep you trapped, Bella." and just like that he was out the door.
I stared at the newly found life in my hands. I was going to start over. New name. New life.
I took up one of the passports and opened it. I saw my face on it and with a name printed beside it "Eleanor Stanton." A new name to disguise my past and who the father of this baby could be. I touched my stomach with a new found courage and determination. I now had a new mission. To keep my baby safe. To rise it in a place of no harm and no chosen path that he or she had to follow.
The thought finally went in and stayed. I was going to be a mother..