Number nine of The Coastline motel. I stare at the silver number nailed to the door and swallow.
"Do you remember the plan?"
I stare anxiously back at Sam and grimace, "I keep my emotions in check no matter what and you'll correct the situation if it takes a turn," my cheeks flare with embarrassment, "So why are we pretending you're my boyfriend, again?"
I try not to choke on the word boyfriend and Sam just smirks, "Do you not like pretending that we're in a serious relationship?"
My heart flutters and cheeks flare hot from all the recent blood I had, "I-it's not that. I just haven't really been in many serious relationships. I haven't really introduced any…*boyfriends* to my family. They may make a big deal about it."
"That's exactly why it's an effective cover story. It will be a good distraction and validate my reason for being here," he seems to be secretly enjoying how uncomfortable I am with this. It's not that I don't like the idea of being with Sam… but introducing him to my parents? I guess he's making sense but…
"Your cheeks are so rosy after you drink," he comments, staring down at me fondly.
I roll my eyes looking away, I feel my face flush even more. Sam chuckles and I want to slug him in the arm.
I mutter, "Stop teasing me. I need to focus on what I'm going to say to them."
"Just make sure they invite me in and I'll be your back up."
I nod, taking a long breath and swallow down the anxiety. Here it goes.
I smooth my new shirt and tuck my hair behind my ear. I give Sam one last glance. He cleans up really well. Either rugged or polished up, he's always incredibly attractive.
I knock on the door, I can hear some show playing on a TV within their room, some thought numbing B rate drama. A lamp flicks on giving the curtained window an orange glow. I hear them discuss who might be here at this hour. My mom tells my father to hurry and answer the door, it might be the police with news about me.
I get nervous as my father walks up to the entryway. I've fed a lot but they both have such delicious scents. That's really frightening.
It's wrong, my parents should not smell like dinner but it doesn't change the fact. I'll endure any amount of torture rather than have one drop of their blood. I'll keep them safe no matter what.
The door opens and I'm staring my dad in the face. My dad had always been the quiet sort, every time he says something he makes sure it counts. He's not the most outwardly expressive person but I can read my father pretty well.
His straight faced misery morphs into pure shock upon seeing me. A very obvious shock, he looks like a different person with intense emotions overtaking his features.
"Dad," I breathe, relieved.
He stays frozen for a moment before embracing me tight, it's such a desperate hug it brings tears to my eyes. Like he's afraid I'll float away if he let's go.
He releases a shuddering breath as he holds me, his stress alleviates little by little.
"Ashlen!" my mom cries, running over and embracing us both. She's sobbing. I hate it when she cries like this, it chokes me up.
They are so warm, their hearts play off of each other. It's a little difficult with them at close proximity but I'm determined not to harm a hair on their heads.
After a long embrace mom is stroking my hair, rattling off the questions and scolding, "Ashlen we were worried sick! What on earth happened? You haven't been answering your phone. I'm never letting you leave home again!"
"Mom! I'm sorry, my phone got totally busted. Nothing happened! Just shit luck."
"Ashlen," she chastises me, "Language."
"Sorry," I mutter, the world could be burning and she'd still berate my foul mouth, "but seriously, I'm fine. I've been fine other than the fact that my stuff keeps disappearing or breaking."
My dad is staring at me intensely not even blinking like I'll vanish into thin air if he takes his eyes off of me.
"You should have called," he's the perfect mix of cross and elated, two emotions that don't go, "We thought something awful happened to you. Don't ever scare me like that, again."
"I know, I'm sorry dad. Everything has gone so horribly wrong," I sigh, "I can't believe things have escalated like this! That's why Sam gave me a ride over here as soon as I heard."
"Sam?" mom asks.
My mom and dad look up to view Sam. He's much further back to give us a respectful amount of space.
"Yeah, he's my… Boyfriend."
I can feel my parents' eyes on me. Mom's expression is absolutely stupefied as if this is the most amazing thing since self driving cars, I'm almost insulted. My dad stares at me hard, he can hardly believe it either.
Here come the lies. I hate lying and I'm so terrible at it, "So here's the story. I went camping for like two weeks and we were out on the lake when butter fingers me dropped my phone while taking a picture and now it's living with the fishes."
They both stare at me like it's the most ridiculous story they've ever heard. I feel as obvious as Pinocchio right now.
"And then I come back home to being robbed, the police and you guys thinking I died! Madness! I'm never going camping again, never!"
"I thought you said your phone was broken," mom furrows her brows suspiciously.
"Yes! It's very broken and at the bottom of a lake. Water will definitely break a phone."
Dad is studying me hard like he knows I'm hiding something. 'Stay calm, Sam can cheat for me.'
"Do you have a new phone now?" he asks.
"Not yet," I lie again and the phone in my pocket feels like it just got twenty pounds heavier, "I'll have one tomorrow and text you, I promise."
"Why didn't you call using someone else's phone? I'm sure your," he warily narrows his eyes at Sam, "boyfriend has a working phone."
I close my eyes, "I was so stressed out I didn't even think about that honestly," that's some truth, "besides I thought you'd answer a knock at the door instead of a phone call this late."
He accepts that answer but I can tell he's not done being skeptical.
"Well," mom says after a minute, "come inside, both of you. It's cold out here," my mom pulls at my hand and motions for Sam with the other.
Sam acts surprised as if my mom's wave just caught his attention. He's at a distance that should be out of ear shot… for a human.
"I don't want to impose, I can wait out here," he offers politely.
My mother is charmed and I realize it's a good thing she's here cause I think my dad would take him up on the offer without a second thought.
"No, don't be silly," she raises her voice slightly to call him over and beckon him.
Dad eyes my mom like he'd rather her not invite him in. He must have a few more things to privately ask me about.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Kane. I only wish it was under less hectic circumstances at a more reasonable hour," he gives my mother a dashing smile and shakes her hand.
"Sam, is that right?" She smiles back as if intoxicated, smitten, "You can call me Julie and this is my husband, Gordan," I think she's crushing on my fake boyfriend. I want to roll my eyes or laugh out loud. Sam's smile touches his eyes as he nods.
He turns to my father with the same shake, he's courteous and confident, "Mr. Kane, I've been looking forward to meeting you, as well." My father's face is hard to read as always but he looks slightly impressed, though partially unconvinced. Like he's a little too good at this.
"I really don't mind waiting out here. I just wanted to make sure Ashlen was able to get here and back safely."
You *are* a little too good at this, Sam.
"Nonsense," my mom fawns, overlapping me telling Sam to, "Just get inside."
She insists, "You are not waiting out here in the cold."
He smiles and accepts. They step back into the cozy motel and Sam puts his hand out to have me step through first like a true gentleman, closing the door behind us.
Sam turns to my father, "Ashlen doesn't have a working phone, yet," he improvises with what he overheard, "but I could give you my number if that would make things easier, until then."
My dad agrees and pulls out his phone to swap numbers.
Mom takes me over to the bed, the comforter is very loud with multiple shapes, it reminds me of arcade carpet. Why do motels feel the need to decorate with such unusual furniture?
She sits us down to talk more. She keeps touching my arm as if to assure herself I'm really here. Man, her palm is really hot on my arm. So warm, I curl my fingers into my palms so as to not get too sucked in.
"Ashlen, you are freezing! Are you feeling OK?" She starts rubbing her hands up and down my arms. Oh… I've got to put a stop to this. That's much too stimulating with her heart ramping up with the movement, her skin is very warm.
"Mom," I steady myself with a laugh, taking her hands, "It's just cold out and you've been in here. I'm not sick."
Not a curable kind of sick, anyway.
She stops trying to warm me up and continues, "Really bad luck, huh? Between your brother and sister you really seem to get into some bizarre situations. I'm so sorry you're apartment got broken into, we have your stuff that was left there. But honestly, I'd take a break-in over your safety any day."
She hugs me tight again. It's dizzying having her close and smelling so good but it's worth it to clear this up. I'll endure. I'm fine.
I ask, "What stuff did you get from the apartment, I was in the process of moving anyway. I'm living with a coworker now."
"Well give me the address. And not a whole lot, mostly clothes. A thief, that really ruffles my feathers! You want them back?" she's really scatterbrained, obviously hasn't gotten enough sleep.
"It's a cabin so I'll figure out a P.O. Box if you're really set on it. Hold on to the stuff if it's not too much hassle. Luckily, I had most of my important things while camping."
I overhear Sam winning my dad over talking about Led Zeppelin. So, that's what my dad's strange tattoos are of, I can't believe it took Sam to crack the mystery! My dad has four symbols tattooed on his upper arm from "back in the day". Whenever any of the siblings, myself included, would ask about it, he'd make up some cockamany oneliner about being abducted and branded by aliens or on a more serious note, being a stupid, rebellious teen.
It's shocking seeing him engaging Sam in more than a sentence! He's telling him about how he got to see them in concert right before the drummer passed on. He may even like Sam a little. How does he do it?
Mom's doting over Sam now, too. She whispers, "He's so cute Ash. Where'd you find such a looker, really sweet too. You've always been so mysterious about your lovelife, I was starting to wonder if you were a lesbian."
"Mom!" Wow, did she *really* just say that? If I'm not flaunting my love life around it must mean I'm into women, logic! Sam totally heard all of that. He bites his lip to keep from laughing. 'You've got anything else you'd like to share with the world, mom?'
"What? I didn't mean it like that. When you're so secretive a parent can only speculate. But man, you picked up a hunk…"
Oh my hell, you're killing me, mom, "Mother… please."
"What! It's true! You look really amazing too you know. I hardly recognized you, though you could use some sun. You're deathly pale."
"Well, thanks. I just got better at my makeup and have been working out and dieting," an all liquid diet… That turns you crazy and makes my own mother smell downright delicious, like lilies and grapefruit, not ideal.
After catching up with mom, dad pulls me aside for a moment. My enthused mother bombards Sam with questions.
"Ash, you're not telling me everything."
'Sorry dad, I forgot to mention I've got this craving for people now, including you and I'm a hairline away from being a murder, everyday! Is that what you were asking about?'
"What exactly do you think I'm not telling you?"
"You didn't tell us you lost that internship about six months ago, Ashlen. The police told us a bunch of interesting things. Apparently, this so called diner, The Blue Lady, you are working at said you completely disappeared. And they found out about the break in because they were going to evict you. Come clean, what is really going on?"
I start to feel a sinking in the pit of my stomach. Crap, dad is too good at playing detective.
"I made some irresponsible decisions… It's a long story with some of those."
"If you're in trouble let me help you, sweetheart," he's trying not to be angry, but he is noticeably concerned. It's almost worse, "Don't leave me in the dark if there's something serious going on."
I have to choke back tears and be tough. 'You can't help me with this one dad.'
Sam eyes me wondering if I need a little extra help getting rid of my dad's suspicion as my mom goes on asking about everything there is to know about Sam.
"Dad," I force a laugh, and completely commit to the lie in about to tell, "Everything has been blown a little out of context. I made some mistakes and there were a few misunderstandings. I need to take responsibility and straighten those things out. I'll take care of it. I *am* sorry I didn't keep you in the loop about the internship though, I was pretty upset about that one."
Surprise, not too much of a lie there. Just vague truths, I'll stick to that when I can.
He looks me over and sighs, "You know I just worry, but you've always been independent. Next time fill me in so you don't kill your dear old dad, ok?"
I nod, "I'm really sorry. I'll make sure nothing like this ever happens again."
An empty promise. I hate giving empty promises but hopefully this is the worst of it.
"I'm more than a little peeved at you, kid. But I'm also proud of you."
I force a smile instead of cringing. You shouldn't be proud of me, Dad.
I change the subject, "I've moved in with a friend, if you didn't overhear."
"With who?" he glances at Sam pursing his lips.
"A *female* Coworker, dad. We're basically house sitting her uncle's cabin."
"A cabin? What about you not camping?"
I scoff, "It only counts as camping if there's a tent involved."
He smiles at that one.
By some miracle, I successfully divert my dad's attempts to poke my story full of holes and now my mom wants to hear all about 'the relationship' before I have to go.
Sam and I sit together on one of the over the top geometric couches as my mother interviews us about our love life. It's no wonder I never brought any boyfriends home.
"How long have you two been dating?"
"Officially for two months," Sam explains. Then he turns to me with soft eyes burning with admiration. Is this a real look or good acting? "but in truth, you caught my eye from the beginning, Ash. I just didn't have the guts to tell you."
I feel breathless while his attention is fixed on me. His words are so genuine it almost convinces me that it *is* the truth. Too bad, it's all just an act.
He's subtly making us out to be such an enviable romantic couple without sounding annoying. I think I envy this fake story. I want this with him.
Sam is lovingly caressing my hand in his as he answers my mom's questions. His touch has to be one of the best feelings in the world. It's easier being around living people with him close by.
We survived! No one died and my parents are in the know without knowing too much! Things are looking up!
We're about to head out after a heavy argument about making sure I'm home for the holidays and apparently, Sam is invited, too.
Holidays? That's a whole other problem I'll have to work out later.
Before we leave Sam convinces them both not to go into detail about this visit but everything is fine. It probably would have been weird having my 'boyfriend' demand to keep the information hushed. But the fact that he basically hypnotized them into keeping it on the downlow makes it a perfectly normal request.
I give them a final goodbye, hugging them tight. It's hard to leave. Even though this doesn't completely fix the issue, it buys me time. I owe Sam big.
We stroll to his bike and I breathe out sweet victory and respite.
"Thank you for doing that, Sam. I don't think it would have been as easy without you."
He nods quietly, he's slumped and pensive. Something is bothering him.
"What's on your mind? What are you thinking about?"
He looks back at the motel door then to me with a wistful smile that doesn't touch his eyes. They look so very sad, "You care about them a lot. And they really love you, Ashlen."
His sentence seems unfinished but he doesn't say anything else.
I slide on the bike and lean into Sam as we drive down the road and away from The Coastline Motel.
Solace within chaos. I'll gladly take it.