I didn't wake up until 3 PM. As I lay in bed, I seriously considered hiding in my room all day. Faye couldn't confront me if she didn't see me.
My stomach rumbled and I groaned. Why did I have to be hungry now? The second I left this room, I was going to be attacked with questions. A vague headache was forming already; I wasn't in the mood for this. Swinging my legs off the bed, I resigned myself to my fate.
"Where have you been?!" Faye screeched.
"Channeling your inner Molly Weasley I see," I said dryly, trying to stall her. I calmly got out a skillet and some eggs. Faye freaking out wasn't going to stop me from having food.
"Don't change the subject," she said crossly, walking around the counter to get in my face. "What time did you get home? You still weren't back when I stopped watching TV at two o'clock in the morning. I was worried! For all I knew, you could have died! Why didn't you text me?"
I sighed wearily. "I fell asleep, okay?"
Her eyes widened. "At Jonathan's?"
"It wasn't like that!" I said defensively. "We were watching TV and I literally fell asleep."
"Why didn't he wake you up?"
"He fell asleep too."
Faye shook her head in amazement. "I can't believe this. You two fell asleep together without actually doing anything. Until after two in the morning. What were you doing all day? Didn't you just wake up? How much sleep do you need?"
"Zoos can be exhausting," I said, scrambling my eggs to avoid eye contact.
I really didn't want to talk about Jon with Faye. I had told her so many lies about him that I regretted now.
It would be nice to have a female perspective on what was going on. I was more confused than I had ever been about this fake relationship that was getting more complicated all the time.
"You slept over half a day because of the zoo?" Her voice dripped with incredulity and I had no other defense. Why did the truth always seem so much more unbelievable than the lies?
"It was exhausting," I said wearily. "I pushed myself too hard grabbing a kid from in front of a moving car, okay? Then I walked around for hours. It's a miracle I didn't pass out before watching a boring baseball game."
"You saved a kid from getting hit by a car? What were you thinking, you aren't healed yet!"
"I know, Faye. I don't regret it though. It was Jon's kid."
She gaped at me before leaning against the counter as if to steady herself. "Oh wow. Bet that earned you a bunch of brownie points."
I smiled. "She called me a superhero."
"Alright, I'll let you off the hook this time. Eat your eggs in peace. Then let's watch some Food Network, yeah?"
She winked at me before walking over to the couch and I slumped in relief. I guess telling the truth worked in my favor this time. I was expecting a more thorough Inquisition.
As instructed, I ate my eggs and picked up Micah on the way to the living room. I needed some kitty snuggles. We watched Chopped the way we always did; shouting at the competitors for being stupid and making snarky comments.
It was nice hanging out with Faye in the way I was used to. No lies. No stress. Just like it was before.
"Do you hear that pinging? It's driving me crazy," Faye complained.
"It sounds like my phone," I noted. "Better go find it, be right back."
I padded towards my room and found it in the pocket of the pants I had worn yesterday. 36 new messages? I unlocked it and saw that some were from Jon but most were from Nick. I decided to tackle Jon's messages before dealing with the real crisis.
'Hey, I got your note. Did you make it home okay?'
'I didn't freak you out, did I? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep. I guess I was tired too'
'Lori, are you still asleep?'
'Could you text me so I know you're alive?'
So he was worried about me. I wasn't sure how to feel about that but shot back a quick, reassuring message saying that yes, I was alive, I just overslept.
I braced myself for an emergency opening Nick's messages and was surprised to find a bunch of random thoughts rather than outright panic. There were a few worried messages about the Faye situation towards the beginning but then it seemed like he was simply texting me because he was bored.
'Do you have any ideas about how to get Faye off my back? She's tried calling me three times!'
'Loriiiiiii I need help!'
'Do you have any idea how stressful this is?'
'Nevermind, of course you do. That was stupid'
'You know what else is stupid? I looked up what 'papas fritas' means because you guys said it multiple times on Thursday. Were you seriously just talking about French fries?'
'Great, now I want French fries'
'Did you know French fries aren't even French? So why are they called French fries…'
'Are you with Jonathan? Is that why you aren't answering your phone?'
'Is your phone on silent or something?'
'Lori, you're killing me'
'Come to think of it, I wonder which one of us would win in a fight. Probably you, unless I stabbed you with a needle and knocked you out beforehand'
'Have you ever wondered how often other serial killers run into each other? Like if one is picking up hitchhikers and one is the hitchhiker, what would happen? Would they become best friends or would one just kill the other?'
'I'm glad you're my best friend. Now that I think about it, I definitely wouldn't win in that fight'
'Do you want to come over? I'm losing my mind with boredom'
'Oh wait you're with Jonathan'
'Do you want to come over after?'
'I haven't seen you in a few days. I kind of miss you. Wow, that's sad'
'Why are you seriously my only friend'
'I'll feed you! Please just brainstorm with me. Without Jace. The two of you together is too much for me to handle on a regular basis'
'I have all of Monday off, can you come over then?'
'Loriiiiiii you never go this long without answering your phone, what's going on?'
'I swear, if you got in another car accident I'm going to strangle you'
'Actually you'd probably beat me up. So maybe not'
'Seriously though, are you okay?'
'You've probably already read these and are just laughing at me'
'Never mind, it doesn't say that the messages are read'
'I wonder why they invented that feature. It just causes other people stress'
'Did your phone die?'
'Did YOU die?'
'If you're dead I'll go all Frankenstein on you and bring you back to kill you again'
'Actually scratch that, that's super creepy'
'Ignore me, I'm going crazy from excessive stress'
I shook my head in amusement. Nick was so weird. I considered keeping him hanging since there wasn't a real emergency and seeing how many messages he left scared me. With a sigh, I decided to do the nice thing and called him.