I sucked in a breath. "Faye is going to talk to you to see if you have any ideas about the gang member deaths."
Nick wrung his hands. "Why? What put her on to me?"
"Me," I said ruefully.
He looked both shocked and outraged. I was quick to defend myself.
"Not on purpose! She got the idea that she should talk to you because you're the only medical professional she knows. And she only knows you because of me. I swear, I didn't say anything to her about you. Why would I? The whole point of this was to protect us but I failed you. You'd have been better off if you never met me."
I hung my head. It seemed like all I could do lately was hurt people. I hated it.
"I wouldn't have even known I was in danger if I hadn't met you," he pointed out. "She would have figured it out eventually and I wouldn't have been prepared."
"How do you prepare for this? You're a terrible liar! What on earth are you going to tell her? I've ruined everything!"
"We'll figure something out," Nick said soothingly.
"How are you so calm?!" I screeched. "You should be furious with me! Or at least stressed! Why aren't you freaking out?"
"Because you're freaking out," he observed rationally. "I figure only one of us can be freaking out at a time. When you first approached me with all this, you were calm as I freaked out. I'm returning the favor."
I let out a hysterical laugh. "Returning the favor. Your life—your future—is on the line and you're concerned about returning the favor?"
"Lori, you look like you're going to faint. Sit down."
Nick said it mildly, but it still came across as an order so I complied. He continued, "We'll be fine. This might even be a good thing. If I play it right, she could look in a completely different direction and I'll be in the clear."
"Jace is in trouble too," I said dully. "She's looking into what sorts of things were going on at the site of the first robbery before it happened. She's going to find out about the health insurance and it won't take long from there to see what happened to Jace's mom. I figured he's safer than you are because he's a kid but I need to talk to him. I came to you first because I panicked."
"I think we all need to talk. We never did have that planning meeting at McDonald's. Still want a McFlurry?"
I shook my head in disbelief. "I can't believe you remember that. Let's call him."
"Wait, does Faye have anything new on you?" Nick asked, concern lacing his voice. Unbelievable. He was in imminent danger and still worrying about me.
Guiltily, I shook my head. "I managed to convince her to look into crime lords who might have bumped off the criminals for leaving them or screwing something up. I'm the only one who's safe right now."
"Well, that's one less problem for us. We're in this together. We all have the same problem so we'll all work on it. We'll figure this out, Lori."
"I can't lose you, Nick," I whispered. "I can't."
He reached out and grasped my hand. "I know. I feel the same way. We'll get through this, Lori. Three brilliant criminal masterminds can come up with something."
I smiled at him weakly before dialing Jace's number. "What's up?" he greeted.
"Hey Jace, it's Lori. Nick's here with me."
"Lori!" he seemed genuinely pleased to hear from me. "So you're alive after all. I suppose I should thank you, I got a whole lot of babysitting money from all the times Jonathan visited you while you were laid up."
"You're welcome," I deadpanned. That kid had the strangest sense of humor. It kind of reminded me of mine. "Look, we've got a situation. Are you free sometime this week?"
I turned to Nick. "What's your work schedule like?"
"Well, I was supposed to work tonight so they'll probably have me make it up on Saturday. The only night I'll be free is Thursday."
"I can do Thursday. Still at McDonald's?" Jace asked, calm as ever.
Of course he was. He'd get significant jail time if he was caught, but he wasn't a killer. He wouldn't face death row like we would.
"Yeah. Let's do it at six," I said, trying to hold it together for his sake. I'd brought Jace into this too. If he got caught…that would be on me.
"Sweet, see you then."
He disconnected and I wondered if anything ever phased that kid. Was he always this blasé or did it happen after he lost his mom?
"He certainly took that well," Nick remarked.
"Almost too well," I said shakily. "I've probably ruined his life too. I ruin everything I touch."
Nick furrowed his brow at me. "Well that's not true. Think about all the kids you help, both at work and outside it. All the cats too."
"Honestly, I'm starting to feel like the good I do will never make up for the bad," I admitted. "I'm trying to help people but other people—good people—get hurt in the process. You. Jace. Jonathan."
"Ah," he said contemplatively. "This isn't about me and Jace at all. It's about Jonathan. What happened?"
I buried my head in my hands. "He told me he loved me again. And I lied and said it back. I feel horrible."
"Why'd you do it?"
There was no judgment in his tone this time. I was confused. There wasn't any emotion in his voice at all. Usually there was a certain degree of censure when talking about how I was using Jonathan.
"He helped me, okay? Everyone was crowding me and I was losing my mind and suddenly he made everyone go away and kept them away the rest of the day and just was there in just the way I needed and I felt like I needed to thank him so I hugged him and I never hugged him before—well, he's hugged me but I never hugged him first—then he said he'd always be there for me and that he loved me and what could I do?" I burst out in a single breath.
"You hugged him? You actually hugged him." Nick raised an eyebrow at me. "You hate hugging people. I've never seen you hug anyone."
"I know," I moaned. "I don't know what possessed me."
"You like him!" he said gleefully. "You actually like him."
"That's not true!" I protested. How ridiculous. I'd never liked anyone like that. "He's been really nice to me as I recovered and now he feels like a friend. I don't have many of those."
"I didn't think you had any," he quipped.
"Shut up, Nick."
"Really though, Lori. You totally like him."
"I'm not capable of liking anyone like that," I insisted. "That was wiped out of me a long time ago."
"So you've said." All color drained from his face as a thought hit him. "Your dad molested you and your sister, didn't he?"