Present…
"Love, hang on," my husband murmured to me over and over as he held my hand while doctors and nurses pushed my stretcher towards the operating room for my c-section. My hips were not wide enough for a normal birth, so it had always been our birthing option.
I should have known that the cramps I was feeling since last night was me going into labor. This was after all my second baby, but I didn't.
It's so hard to be pregnant, I told myself as another bout of contraction came, and my grip tightened on my husband's hand.
"Love," Yunho called to me.
I could see fear in his eyes as he looked at me, and I didn't want that, so I forced myself to give him a weak smile. "Yunnie, I'll be fine."
I knew the baby was coming weeks earlier than expected. I reckon it must be because of stress caused by Ian's presence yesterday.
Anyway, I was in pain but I wasn't all that worried. I was after all healthy throughout my pregnancy, and the doctors in this hospital were good. My anesthesiologist and ob-gyn respectively were friends of ours and I knew they would take care of me and my child.
Upon reaching the OR, my doctor turned to my husband. "Yunho if you want to come in, you better scrub up," he ordered, and my husband nodded and squeezed my hand.
"I'll be back Love," he told me and then he left to do as the doctor told him to.
"Jaeyoung, we'll be prepping you up for surgery," the doctor informed me, and I nodded as they wheeled me inside.
One of the nurses changed my clothes to a hospital gown and soon they administered the anesthetics thru lumbar puncture.
I closed my eyes as I felt the needle on my spine, and my hand automatically searched for something to grab. When I did however, my husband who I hadn't realized was back with me took it and held it firmly in his, unmindful of the death grip I gave him.
"Yun…nie…" I groaned as I felt another contraction and my husband used his other hand to get a towel to wipe my sweaty brow.
"Sssshh, Love, I'm here. I'm here," Yunho murmured to my ears softly and I opened my eyes to meet his.
"I love you Love. I love you Joongie. I love you Mrs. Lee," he whispered to me over and over again and I gave him another weak smile.
As I lay on the bed, waiting for the anesthetic to take effect, my husband continued on with his ministrations, and I couldn't help but travel back into time, five years ago, when I woke up on a hospital bed remembering nothing but a longing for someone I knew I loved.
~
5 years ago
Waking up from a hazy dream, my eyes fluttered open and I flinched as the rays of sunlight blinded my vision.
"Hmmmn…" I tried raising my hand to ward off the glaring light and I felt soft hands touch my arm.
"Ms. Kim? Ms. Kim?"
Ms. Kim? Who's that?
I wondered as I opened my eyes again and met an unfamiliar face of a woman in white smiling at me. "W-h…" My lips puckered as I tried to ask "who are you", but I was not able to produce any sound.
My throat felt dry and I coughed as I felt the woman leaving my side.
"Doctor! Doctor! Ms. Kim's awake!" I heard her call out as I shifted on the bed.
I felt so weak like a new born kitten and it wasn't surprising when a bout of dizziness assailed me and I fell into a pool of a welcoming darkness.
The next time I woke up, it was morning. The woman who was in the room was there again and I realized I was in the hospital and she was a nurse.
I was told that I was involved in a traffic accident four months ago, and had been in a coma since. I tried hard to remember the incident but try hard as I might, I couldn't remember a thing. Come to think of it, I couldn't remember anything.
Realizing this, I looked up at the kindhearted nurse with eyes wide in fear. "Who…who am I?"
My question seemed to bring a lot of concern, for as soon as I said those words, the nurse called for the doctor and in minutes, I found myself being examined once more. Within a traumatic hour, I was asked again and again about my name and if there's anything I remembered.
Finally, as if a switch was pushed, memories came flooding back and I held my breath.
Yes, I was Kim Jaeyoung, twenty-one years old from Gongju. I remembered I just graduated from college months ago and moved to Seoul to work as a receptionist at Seoul Palace, one of the hotel chains Lee Corporation owned. When I told the doctor and nurses about it however, I saw them exchange looks and I frowned.
"Ms. Kim, do you remember anything else?" the doctor prompted and I tried hard to think but really couldn't come up with anything.
So, when I was told that what I thought was the latest that happened to me before I got here at the hospital happened a year ago, I was shocked. Who wouldn't? I couldn't remember a whole year of my life!
"Your name is Kim Jaeyoung yes, but you're twenty-two years old, and you're no longer working at Seoul Palace," the doctor informed me and I groaned out loud.
"I got fired?" I asked as I sighed. Well, they said I was asleep for months so I guessed it was understandable that I lost my job.
"No, you didn't get fired," the doctor said and my frown deepened.
"I think, you better wait for your fiancé to tell you everything," the man said which made me stare at him. Fiancé?
Come to think of it…I did have a fiancé. Racking my brains for any memory of him, I couldn't come up with anything except for the memory of a soft voice speaking to me as a pair of gentle hands held mine. "Where is he?"