After a couple of days I completed the books about Nate's life, it was a pretty sad one that was full of drama. He had abusive parents, his dad was a possessive meth dealer with influence in the mafia and his mom was a prostitute, and if you couldn't tell, he was an unhappy accident, he tried to stay away from and succeeded mostly, until he met his first 'lover' at the age of ten, a 19 year old crack addict looking to try meth, her name was Maya, she was nice to him, but he almost got seduced by her once. She was high and wanted to have sex with him, simple as that. His father came in before anything happened and beat the shit out of both of them. She got banned from the house and was told to never come back. That was one of the more memorable stories. There were many others like that but, I don't feel comfortable talking about that.
But he was miserable, and at the time he was only able to go outside when he had to go no school or when he had to go to the doctors. One day, when he was 11, the clinic he went to for physical checkups gave him a form, it was about his mental health rather than his physical health. He answered the questions truthfully, and after the physical exam, the doctor asked about his home life, his father shut him up before he could speak, and gave the doctor some lies about how he was an extremely weird child, and how he sometimes lied for fun. The doctor prescribed him some medicine, and explained how he should try to keep his mental state up because he was too young to be having these issues.
When Nate got home his father brutally beat him for almost leaking out stuff about his business, and how he could've gotten arrested.
His whole life had been one shitshow after another. And no matter what he did he couldn't escape, or that is until he was 12, where he thought about running away, but he needed money and a place to move first. So he went to his dad, and asked if he could get a job. His father surprisingly said yes, under the pretense that he wanted his son to, 'Experience the world firsthand'. But in reality it was probably because he wanted to got rid of him.
So, Nate went to his local convenient store, Trekken Elecen, and applied for a job there, he was a hard ranker and went from a cashier to an assistant manager. It was hard, but he did it within 2 years. Once he got enough money, he bought this plot and set up the things he needed in order to go in a comatose state.
And bam! I'm me.
When I finished that book, I grabbed for another one and saw a paper on the other side of the stack. It had a heading, "Last bits of Sanity" I looked at it and realized that it was a poem. It read,
"I'm not even gone, yet I already miss me
The world around me is spinning.
My life wasn't perfect but I tried
Making it through with honourable lies.
And now, life goes on
This now, my final song"
At this moment I knew, it was an elegy. It was sad, I just read about his pitiable life, and when he wanted it back, it was too late. And at that moment I shed my first and last tear.