I needed to be comforted. I needed to smell his maple after shave. See his red lashes burring those blue eyes. His redish orangish curls rushing through my fingers. I couldn't call nor could i have even asked for him to pick me up. I just ran. And i found myself in front of Jake home. I know i didn;t need to bother seeing parents, because they live in D.C. i inserted my keys and closed the door. I was shivering cold, my hair tangled and sticking to the back of my neck.
"Jake?"
No answer. I looked into the kitchen and saw familiar shoes... but they weren't his. I couldn't pin point on who shoes they were but I know I've seen those baby bell blue bottom flats with the white rose prints covering them barely seeing its original color.
I walked up stairs, leaving wet foot prints behind. I heard a noise so I walked faster.
"Jake?"
His bedroom door was cracked, and the light was seeping through.
I pushed open his door slowly.
The sight before me made me freeze. I felt the blood in me go cold. My hands were trembling from I don't know god what.
They didn't even notice I was in side the room watching the whole thing.
I blinked and felt my legs loose its bones. I wanted to scream and yell at them but I felt no emotions. I felt numb and tired and used and broken.
"You had good timing."
"Fucking shit! Andra…"
Jake didn't even bother covering his body but covered hers.
"babe its not what you think."
You would expect me to be screaming and crying and throwing things like a mad woman screaming how could you. but I honestly just felt...nothing. I am being send off to marriage anyways.
"It's fine." I shrugged my shoulders. "Its the typical situation when the girl walks in on her boyfriend cheating on her with her only bestfriend."
Miya face was red and i stared into her guilty eyes. Were her guilt even real?
"Ales i can explain i-"
I sighed and rubbed my eyes. "Jake im breaking up with you. Dont call me nor text me i don;t want to see your face." I said it with no emotion at all. its as if the life in me has been sucked out.
"Miya i never thought the one person i trust and loved so dearly will do this to me. but who ho to me. i been there for you since day one. when you liked a guy but he was flirting with me i showed no intrest just for you. i ignored every guy just for you. i did everything just for you. so when Jake came along and i saw how much you hated him, i thought i could finally have someone to love without sharing or worrying about you."
"Ales-"
"but i guess i was wrong. i don't know if i could ever forgive you."
"Alessandra!!"
I ran out of the house and back into the cold rain.
"ALESSANDRA WAIT PLEASE"
***
After sitting on the bench in the rain in the middle of the pitch dark night, i finally decided to go home. I walked into the warm house and held my tears. i cried enough.
"Where have you been?"
I looked up at my parents and stared at them. My father face went from pissed to soft.
"I think i am going to go to bed. "
I walked up the stairs and into the place even i was a stranger to.
i changed out of the soak clothes and wringed out my hair.
I entered the pitch dark room, and slipped under the covers. He moved over and made space for me to be in the bed with him.
He looked down at me and sighed.
"Im here for you baby A. I always am on your side. I love you and will always be there for you."
I sniffed and held in my tears. "Just let it out. its not healthy."
Marrage.
I wanted to enjoy my life while i could. I always did have marrage on my platte, but at least not until i was 25. i wante dto be with someone i loved. SOmeone who loved me back. SOmeone who will hold me closer than any one else could.
I buried my face into My older brothers chest and cried. I felt as if i was crying for hours. I soon drifted off to sleep.
But i didn't miss the part when i mumbled a few words.
"hold me closer"